Money Problems...Mostly.

[Almond_Joy]

Hi everyone,

 

I moved out on my own for the first time in September of last year, and since then money's been a problem for me. I took out a loan to cover the security deposit and first month's rent, and when I ran the numbers it seemed feasible to cover living expenses and the monthly loan payments. But now that I'm in the situation, it seems like I'm constantly broke. I think my spending habits have gotten worse, what with picking up little items i need here and there around the apartment that aren't budgeted for, but I hit a low point today: my phone got cut off, and I won't have the money to get it turned on until next payday, which is two weeks away.

 

I've been dating a guy for almost three months now. I was dreading telling him about the phone getting cut off because I didn't want to face the shame of him offering to lend me the money to get it turned back on. I ended up dodging that bullet because he never offered. He just said he hopes things get better.

 

I don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, I'm glad because he knows I'd be really embarassed asking and/or accepting money from him. But on the other, I'm wondering if he's frustrated or something. No matter what is said or done, he never really reacts to anything. He always takes things in stride, and just says OK, and there were a few things this weekend that I would think he would have had a reaction to, or would have at least contributed to the response I received when presenting the phone bill issue. For instance:

 

- His birthday was Saturday. Since my mom's bday is only a couple days before his, and they hadn't met yet, I thought it would be nice for them to meet over a birthday lunch. The place we went to is reasonably priced (nothing on the menu over 25 bucks with tax), but super popular so i had to call a week in advance to get a spot. When I told him I made the reservation, he said he'd pay for the lunch. I thought it was weird he wanted to pay since it's suppossed to be a birthday lunch for him and my mom, but I just said OK. I was planning to pitch in on the lunch anyway, and I'd already gotten him a gift. Unfortunately, I had an automatic debit payment scheduled, and the vendor took nearly $100 more than what I agreed to pay. So come Saturday, I had no money to pitch in on lunch. So he ended up paying for his own birthday lunch, which made me feel kinda s****y.

 

- Later than night some of his friends invited him out for dinner. I ordered about $20 worth of food and drink at the place, which he again paid for. Now that I think of it, he also drove us there and back, and I didn't offer to help pay gas either (I couldn't have if I wanted to anyway, I have $15 for food and anything else I might need until next payday :-/)

 

- Lastly, he had a work meeting yesterday that ended up running longer than he expected, and he owns a dog. He wasn't going to be home in time to let the dog out to go to the bathroom. He's had this situation occur once before since we've been together, and he had me make a copy of his apartment keys so that I could go let his dog out for him. I agreed to do the same yesterday, but when I prepared to head over I couldn't find the keys! I turned my place inside out, my car, the purse, all my jackets and jeans....nothing. So I had to contact him to tell him I'm unable to do this one favor he asked of me. Again, he just says "It's OK." Thankfully the dog didn't go in the house, but to me this is totally not OK!!! He trusted me with keys to his house which I still can't find. And he never asks anything of me.

 

 

On top of those other two money incidents that happenned this weekend, I just feel like s**t. I've never been in this situation financially, and don't want him to think this is the way things are for me all the time. He's only known me for 5 months. I've already resolved to talk to him this weekend (won't be able to see him face-to-face until then).

 

This post was more of a vent than anything else - I needed to write about all these things that are making me feel like a really crappy girlfriend right now so I don't get overly emotional when I talk to him about it.

 

But I'm also wondering - guys, if you were dating a girl who did these things, would they be red flags to you? If so, would you say anything to the girl about them, or take the "it's her life, not my place to judge" kind of stance, which is what I think my bf's doing?

 

And ladies, was it wrong of me to think he would offer to lend me the money to pay the phone bill, considering the behavior he saw this weekend? I've been kind of sensitive to him paying my way when we're out since the start of the relationship, and when I can I have tried to pull my weight by pitching in or paying for both of us. But he makes more money than me, and sometimes wants to do things with me that are out of my budget. I don't want to be a wet blanket because of my independence issues, but am I maybe getting too comfortable with the difference in our income, and taking him for granted? I just realized that I didn't say thank you for him paying for everything this weekend .

 

I don't know.....money's always been a sensitive issue in my household growing up - it's caused me a lot of stress over the years, so I try really hard to be completely self-sufficient. But I've also supported boyfriends financially over the years in tough times, and expect the same in return. Since I've never had cause to support this boyfriend financially, maybe I shouldn't expect that kind of support from him? Am I making too much of this too early, or is the talk about money kind of overdue since we're three months in?

 

I just feel like a horrible girlfriend right now.

Edited January 18, 2012 by Almond_Joy

[Imageiko]

If you were honest me and told me exactly what you typed above I'd let it slide provided there was some potential for upside in the future. I'd probably encourage you to find a way to better yourself financially for you since I get that its a ****ty way to live with all the stress and everything else.

[Almond_Joy]

Thanks for the response.

 

I should be able to pay off the moving loan with my income tax. Less than 2 months away from less stressful living! **sigh** so excited.

[thatone]

you two need to talk about all of this.

 

everyone has different opinions of money and what it represents. personally i don't care about it, i have enough, earn enough, and don't mind paying for all my dates.

 

other guys in the same situation complain constantly about what dating costs.

 

there's no way to know what he thinks unless you ask him, but i would suspect he takes your apologetic tone with the situation as positive when it happens.

[Jynxx]

I think my spending habits have gotten worse, what with picking up little items i need here and there around the apartment that aren't budgeted for, but I hit a low point today: my phone got cut off, and I won't have the money to get it turned on until next payday, which is two weeks away.

 

- His birthday was Saturday. Since my mom's bday is only a couple days before his, and they hadn't met yet, I thought it would be nice for them to meet over a birthday lunch. The place we went to is reasonably priced (nothing on the menu over 25 bucks with tax), but super popular so i had to call a week in advance to get a spot. When I told him I made the reservation, he said he'd pay for the lunch. I thought it was weird he wanted to pay since it's suppossed to be a birthday lunch for him and my mom, but I just said OK. I was planning to pitch in on the lunch anyway, and I'd already gotten him a gift. Unfortunately, I had an automatic debit payment scheduled, and the vendor took nearly $100 more than what I agreed to pay. So come Saturday, I had no money to pitch in on lunch. So he ended up paying for his own birthday lunch, which made me feel kinda s****y.

 

- Later than night some of his friends invited him out for dinner. I ordered about $20 worth of food and drink at the place, which he again paid for. Now that I think of it, he also drove us there and back, and I didn't offer to help pay gas either (I couldn't have if I wanted to anyway, I have $15 for food and anything else I might need until next payday :-/)

 

But I'm also wondering - guys, if you were dating a girl who did these things, would they be red flags to you? If so, would you say anything to the girl about them, or take the "it's her life, not my place to judge" kind of stance, which is what I think my bf's doing?

 

And ladies, was it wrong of me to think he would offer to lend me the money to pay the phone bill, considering the behavior he saw this weekend? I've been kind of sensitive to him paying my way when we're out since the start of the relationship, and when I can I have tried to pull my weight by pitching in or paying for both of us. But he makes more money than me, and sometimes wants to do things with me that are out of my budget. I don't want to be a wet blanket because of my independence issues, but am I maybe getting too comfortable with the difference in our income, and taking him for granted? I just realized that I didn't say thank you for him paying for everything this weekend .

 

I don't know.....money's always been a sensitive issue in my household growing up - it's caused me a lot of stress over the years, so I try really hard to be completely self-sufficient. But I've also supported boyfriends financially over the years in tough times, and expect the same in return. Since I've never had cause to support this boyfriend financially, maybe I shouldn't expect that kind of support from him? Am I making too much of this too early, or is the talk about money kind of overdue since we're three months in?

 

First of all, you have a ton of growing up and becoming responsible for your own situation to do. You can't spend stuff on "little things" when you're in debt and can't pay your utilities. Period. You have to get your priorities straight and learn handling money like an adult.

 

I consider myself not judgemental at all, but when my girlfriend would be in debt, incapable of managing it and wasting money on "little things", presents, birthday lunches and then ask me to chop in for her utilities because she couldn't afford them alarmbells will go off and I'd tell her to get her life in order or I'll move on. Also, if she used the "but you make more money than me, so" reasoning I'd probably skip the telling part and move on straight away. I'm not looking to become someones sugardaddy.

 

On the other hand, if I wanted to do an activity and she'd tell me she couldn't afford it because she had bills to pay and she was eating bread 3 meals a day to be able to pay them, and wouldn't allow me to pay for her, I would think she's a keeper.

Edited January 18, 2012 by Jynxx

[musemaj11]

He is a man, not a woman. When a man loves a woman, he doesnt care how much money she has. He will even share what he has with her if needed.

[Jynxx]

Also, if she used the "but you make more money than me, so" reasoning I'd probably skip the telling part and move on straight away. I'm not looking to become someones sugardaddy.

 

Just to make this clear: I wouldn't appreciate it because the issue isn't with her (or you) not making enough, the issue is with her spending too much.

 

 

He is a man, not a woman. When a man loves a woman, he doesnt care how much money she has. He will even share what he has with her if needed.

As I said, this has very little to do with her wealth and everything with how she chooses to handle the situation. She chooses to live a lifestyle that she can't afford without any kind of plan to solve her problems.

Edited January 18, 2012 by Jynxx

[make me believe]

These would be red flags to me. The financial thing I would understand if it was temporary and if you showed that you were taking steps to get your finances under control -- but it doesn't sound like you are. You're still going out to eat and drinking and spending money on "little things" even though your phone has just been cut off. That's just ridiculous. You need to be more frugal and stop going for nights out when you CAN'T afford it.

 

The dog thing would be a huge turnoff for me. I mean seriously, you LOST his key that he JUST gave you? I would be pissed if I trusted you with my house key and now it's floating around out there, who knows where. I'm sorry, I understand that you're going through a tough time right now, but you sound really irresponsible. I would NOT loan money to somebody I'd been dating for 3 months, especially when they showed the poor judgment that you have. Sorry.

[Els]

Urgh, what a mess. What are you doing buying 'little things for your apartment' when your budget is so tight, OP? What are you doing even having an apartment all to yourself with such a tight budget?? And no, 'I did the calculations and it seemed to be okay' doesn't cut it, unless something major happened like you getting laid off at your job without warning. No responsible adult allows themself such a tight budget and then breaks that miniscule budget by buying floor mats for the apartment.

 

Come now, surely there's SOMEthing you can do to get yourself off the ground. Sell off everything you don't NEED, for starters - and stop buying them! Furnishings, clothes, jewelry, gadgets, etc. You'd be amazed how much you can make from secondhands. Stop doing all the little things that women do but that can really add up to your budget - makeup, waxes, etc. Beauty is not a luxury you can afford in these circumstances.

 

If you don't have an enforced minimum term, move out to a houseshare apartment, that will be cheaper. If you do, try advertising for a housemate.

 

I know this isn't the question you're asking, but it's just unfathomable to me how you could be literally a few tens of dollars away from starving and your major concern is what the guy thinks of you???

 

Edit: Okay, in response to your question, no, it's not okay to EXPECT him to cover you. It's okay to accept if he genuinely wants to, but ultimately it's his decision. And yes, you should be able to say no to dinners out when you can't afford them. There's no shame in being fiscally responsible and saying 'no, I can't afford to do this'.

 

On the other hand, if I wanted to do an activity and she'd tell me she couldn't afford it because she had bills to pay and she was eating bread 3 meals a day to be able to pay them, and wouldn't allow me to pay for her, I would think she's a keeper.

 

Completely disagree. I think that anyone, man or woman, whose partner is impoverished to the point of literally eating bread 3 times a day (which the OP doesn't appear to be, granted), and who doesn't offer to pitch in to at least get them a proper meal a day, is an uncaring jackass. What's the point of volunteering in soup kitchens and donating to charity when the very person whom you're supposed to love is struggling in front of you and you're doing precisely jacksquat about it? Also, if I was far richer than a bf who couldn't afford to do ANY sort of dates and he absolutely refused to allow me to pay for it and preferred to just never do anything instead, I would think that he's an overly-proud hardass who values his pride over our relationship.

Edited January 18, 2012 by Elswyth

[Almond_Joy]

Yeah....my other post hasn't made it here yet because I submitted it during one of those moderator review periods. I knew things would be tight, but I'll be able to pay off the moving loan with my income tax which I should have no later than March. So my plan was to live on a tight budget like this for no more than 6 months. Then I'll have hundreds of dollars freed up every montth to save, spend, and now get my finances back on track.

 

And I didn't clarify, but it's not like I made a conscious decision to let my phone get cut off. The billing usually takes place at the end of the month, and I'd planned to pay the phone bill from my next pay check. In any case, the fact that I let the bill get to the point where service would be cut off is still poor planning.

 

I know my spending habits have gotten worse.

 

I moved out so that I can be more accountable for myself when it's just me. I was a sole breadwinner in a 2 person household for years while my mom was unemployed and managed to never borrow a dime, and all the bills got paid on time, every month. And I made less money than I'm making now. It was easier to be frugal when I had to consider that another person needed my earnings too....which seems screwy now.

 

Thank you for the tips, Elswyth. I don't really think anything I have is worth selling - I don't buy clothes often, and I don't wear jewelry or makeup. I only get waxes or hairdo's or whatever for special occasions....Most of the money I spent out of budget was for food because I didn't get a fridge until about 3 weeks ago. But I'll go in my closet and see if I can pawn off some dresses on eBay or something. I've started looking for a part time job, too....no luck yet though.

 

This key thing, to me, is horrible. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to break up over this. That's what I expect. It's just a bad stroke of luck on my part - I've never actually lost a key, certainly not anyone else's possessions entrusted to me. But, like make me believe said, I'd be pissed too if I was my bf, accident or no. I don't understand why he didn't say anything about it.

 

 

Anyway. Thank you for the feedback, everyone. These perspectives help to rearrange my priorities.

[FitChick]

Start keeping track of every penny you spend and how you spend it. Even if it's a pack of gum. Learn to prioritize. Are you leasing a car you can't afford? Get rid of it and drive a junk car until you can afford a better one. Don't buy anything for your apartment. I slept in a sleeping bag for months when I got my first apartment. There are lots of online resources on how to save money.

 

Why not move out and live with a roommate?

[Almond_Joy]

Also, if I was far richer than a bf who couldn't afford to do ANY sort of dates and he absolutely refused to allow me to pay for it and preferred to just never do anything instead, I would think that he's an overly-proud hardass who values his pride over our relationship.

 

I feel like that's what I'd come off as, because most of the time I've only been able to spare enough money for small things - coffee and lunch here, maybe a dinner or a movie once a month. This last month, I can't even afford that. We like to go out a lot, hang out with friends, but I do realize I have to cut back. I don't want to have another episode like last weekend. This was horrible, even if it hadn't been his birthday.

 

But if we stayed in every time I didn't have money to pay for anything, we'd never go anywhere. So then it's like we can't do anything because I can't pay.

 

Hadn't thought about this but I should just ask him if we can stay in more often. I'm sure after last weekend he'd be happy to.

[carhill]

How much does a walk in the park cost? Window shopping along the sidewalk or at the mall?

 

If he were struggling right now, even though he had been solvent in the past, what would you do and how would you feel? What would your focus be on?

 

Ask him for suggestions. You're a team. Teams work through things together.

[Almond_Joy]

Start keeping track of every penny you spend and how you spend it. Even if it's a pack of gum. Learn to prioritize. Are you leasing a car you can't afford? Get rid of it and drive a junk car until you can afford a better one. Don't buy anything for your apartment. I slept in a sleeping bag for months when I got my first apartment. There are lots of online resources on how to save money.

 

Why not move out and live with a roommate?

 

 

I've been sleeping on a sleeping bag also since I moved in - on hardwood floors no less lol. I slept on the floor befor I moved out for nearly 2 years though, so I don't mind it at all.

 

This is my first apartment, my first time living on my own ever. I thought I was better prepared because I've managed household expenses for years, but obviously I'm not.

 

And I didn't move in with a roommate because the whole point of me moving out was to live on my own, have my own space, completely to myself. My lease is for a year - maybe when the lease ends I'll get a roommate. Now that I've had a few months of breathing room, the idea of living with someone else doesn't seem so bad....as long as it's not my mom. Maybe moving into my own place alone was a severe response to my need for space not being acknowledged? I'm thinking now it could have been. But I'm much happier at least.

[Almond_Joy]

How much does a walk in the park cost? Window shopping along the sidewalk or at the mall?

 

If he were struggling right now, even though he had been solvent in the past, what would you do and how would you feel? What would your focus be on?

 

Ask him for suggestions. You're a team. Teams work through things together.

 

Thanks carhill - always appreciate the solid advice.

[Els]

I feel like that's what I'd come off as, because most of the time I've only been able to spare enough money for small things - coffee and lunch here, maybe a dinner or a movie once a month. This last month, I can't even afford that. We like to go out a lot, hang out with friends, but I do realize I have to cut back. I don't want to have another episode like last weekend. This was horrible, even if it hadn't been his birthday.

 

But if we stayed in every time I didn't have money to pay for anything, we'd never go anywhere. So then it's like we can't do anything because I can't pay.

 

Hadn't thought about this but I should just ask him if we can stay in more often. I'm sure after last weekend he'd be happy to.

 

I think it's fine for you to tell him you can't afford them. Then be fine with whatever he chooses to do about it. If he chooses to stay in and do free activities with you, great. If he chooses to pay for you, great. I was referring to people who are all, 'I'm not letting you pay a single cent for me even though I'm dead broke, period!'.

[make me believe]

I think it's fine for you to tell him you can't afford them. Then be fine with whatever he chooses to do about it. If he chooses to stay in and do free activities with you, great. If he chooses to pay for you, great. I was referring to people who are all, 'I'm not letting you pay a single cent for me even though I'm dead broke, period!'.

 

I agree with this. Be honest with your boyfriend about what you can and cannot afford, have some free activities in mind that you can do instead of stuff that costs money (you don't just have to sit around all day to not spend money), and be gracious and appreciative if he decides to treat you to something.

 

I was laid off from my job a few months after I started dating my now-husband. I was up front with him about needing to cut back drastically on expenses and not spending money on frivolous things. He totally understood, and was happy to cut back on going out and to pay for me when we did go out. (I always waited for him to suggest going out. I NEVER suggested it myself with the expectation that he'd pay for me.) I tried to "repay" him in ways that I could -- making him an (inexpensive) dinner at my place, doing little things for him around his house, finding fun free things that we could do together, etc.

 

So some examples of free/cheap things we would do: go hiking, take his dog to the dog park, have movie night with a $5 pizza and some cheap wine, stay in and have sex , watch marathons of Lost on DVD, find random festivals that were going on (some have entry fees, but we went to an art festival that was free), take a picnic to the park.

[Els]

Yep, loads of free or cheap things to do. We've done beaches, parks, hikes, walks, art gallery/museum tours, watching DVDs, video games, street performer shows, local events, card games, cookouts, and some very varied forms of woo-hoo. And lots more that we could still do if only he had more time!

Edited January 19, 2012 by Elswyth

[mitchell]

As others have said, relationships are not an accounting balance sheet where you keep track of expenditures to see if there's an even score. I'm sure your BF enjoys your companionship and understands your financial struggles. You "pay" him back in other ways. Not all things have a dollar value. Time spent together, sex, backrubs, BJs, etc... are all free!

[Almond_Joy]

Thanks for the ideas. I'll remember these when I finish talking to my bf.

[RecordProducer]

He is a man, not a woman. When a man loves a woman, he doesnt care how much money she has. He will even share what he has with her if needed.

I am nicely surprised by your standpoint, Musemaj! Even as a woman, if i decided to date another woman, I'd pay for everything if she's broke and I am not. But, I couldn't pay for a man who's broke. I did that in the past and I lost respect for the guy because he started acting like my money was his. At one point he told me he needed money from me to buy presents for his friends when we were on a trip that I paid for. I told him he didn't have to buy presents for his friends, especially not from my money, and he tried to guilt-trip me into the idea that I was humiliating him because he had no money. The thing is I had no money either, I saved and spent it on him. I was a 21-year old student and he was 27 and worked. Loser!

 

I don't want to have another episode like last weekend. This was horrible, even if it hadn't been his birthday.

I think you're exaggerating, it's not that horrible. You're his GF of 5 months, you're broke, he's not. It sounds like you're not spending too much, but I don't really know your budget. He could've offered to pay for your phone, but maybe he thought it wasn't his place to do it?

 

I am a bit surprised that you chose a place where lunch (not even dinner) is $25. That's a fancy place. This was just a bday lunch, not celebrating some big success. You could've prepared dinner at his place instead. Eating out is a luxury. I am not trying to be judgmental, just think we have to be real about what we need and what we don't. Regarding the phone bill, is this your cell phone? Do you have internet and unlimited text/minutes or just some basic plan? What kinds of little things were you buying for your house? Do you smoke? Do you buy coffee brewed at the store or do you make it at home? Do you pay for TV or satelite? Do you make your lunch at home and take it to work or do you purchase lunch? Do you buy bottles of water or soda? Do you cook or do you buy frozen/prepared meals? Do you buy vitamins or any other supplements? These are all things that can save you hundreds every month if you're choosing the cheaper option. Whatever you do, don't go into credit card debt. It's better to live on bread and water for a month than to be stuck in increasing debt.

 

May I ask, how does your mom support herself now if she is unemployed?

 

But if we stayed in every time I didn't have money to pay for anything, we'd never go anywhere. So then it's like we can't do anything because I can't pay.

 

Hadn't thought about this but I should just ask him if we can stay in more often. I'm sure after last weekend he'd be happy to.

It sounds like you've been spending a lot of money on going out but he isn't paying for you. That should definitely stop until you pay off your debt. If you have to pay it off by March and you plan to dosowith your tax money, did you file your tax return yet?

 

I think it's fine for you to tell him you can't afford them. Then be fine with whatever he chooses to do about it. If he chooses to stay in and do free activities with you, great. If he chooses to pay for you, great. I was referring to people who are all, 'I'm not letting you pay a single cent for me even though I'm dead broke, period!'.

I agree with this suggestion.

 

Yep, loads of free or cheap things to do. We've done beaches, parks, hikes, walks, art gallery/museum tours, watching DVDs, video games, street performer shows, local events, card games, cookouts, and some very varied forms of woo-hoo. And lots more that we could still do if only he had more time!

My best memories of fun time were with my ex-BF when we were all broke and would gather and rink cheap beer and eat pasta with marinara sauce that I cooked and nibble on potato chips. It's not free, but cheap. The food,booze and good company were there. My worst memories were with my ex-husband at a $400/night hotel because we were arguing all the time. I refused to go to the Bahamas with him because our marriage was bad at the time. So, I agree with you, folks, there's plenty to do for very little money. Edited January 20, 2012 by RecordProducer

[Almond_Joy]

 

I think you're exaggerating, it's not that horrible. You're his GF of 5 months, you're broke, he's not. It sounds like you're not spending too much, but I don't really know your budget. He could've offered to pay for your phone, but maybe he thought it wasn't his place to do it?

 

I am a bit surprised that you chose a place where lunch (not even dinner) is $25. That's a fancy place. This was just a bday lunch, not celebrating some big success. You could've prepared dinner at his place instead. Eating out is a luxury. I am not trying to be judgmental, just think we have to be real about what we need and what we don't. Regarding the phone bill, is this your cell phone? Do you have internet and unlimited text/minutes or just some basic plan? What kinds of little things were you buying for your house? Do you smoke? Do you buy coffee brewed at the store or do you make it at home? Do you pay for TV or satelite? Do you make your lunch at home and take it to work or do you purchase lunch? Do you buy bottles of water or soda? Do you cook or do you buy frozen/prepared meals? Do you buy vitamins or any other supplements? These are all things that can save you hundreds every month if you're choosing the cheaper option. Whatever you do, don't go into credit card debt. It's better to live on bread and water for a month than to be stuck in increasing debt.

 

May I ask, how does your mom support herself now if she is unemployed?

 

It sounds like you've been spending a lot of money on going out but he isn't paying for you. That should definitely stop until you pay off your debt. If you have to pay it off by March and you plan to dosowith your tax money, did you file your tax return yet?

 

 

 

Lots of questions lol.

 

The place we ate at was average for the area we live in - the only thing that was 25 was like one steak entree, which none of us got. Everything else was the 10 - 20 range. I just saw it as a lot because he paid for me, my mom, AND himself. With tax and tip that bill was probably around $80. Since I'm broke $80 seems like ALOT to throw down for anything lol. Like i said, I planned to pitch in or even cover the whole thing but that payment problem screwed that up.

 

Thank you for all the money-saving tips/things to consider. I've only been in my place since the end of September, and I haven't had enough money at one time to buy cookware. I just got a fridge and microwave in this past month (free, with the help of friends) less than a month ago. I don't have cable, don't plan to get it, and I have a budget for grocries. Now that I have a fridge I'm trying to put it to use . Overall, my budget's pretty conservative - I only splurge badly on food/eating out.

 

The little stuff I bought was laundry detergent, cleaners mops/brooms and rags so I could clean the apartment, TP towels and toiletries for the bathroom - things like that. I know it's stupid, but I seriously did not think of these things when I moved out.

 

The phone's my cell phone. My bf told me I should be able to text through Google Voice on my phone, which he already uses, but when i downloaded the mobile app, it said I had to have my number verified to set it up. And my number couldn't be verified because my account's suspended. That's something we'll try to work out this weekend for next week.

 

I told him early on in the relationship that I prefer to pay my own way as often as possible, and he's been very respectful of that. Most of the time we do a split thing like I buy the coffees and he buys lunch, or I pay for dinner and he pays for the movie.

 

Now that I talked about this I'm feling less miserable about it. I just stress out easily, I guess. I still feel really bad about the key, but I can't do anything about it now.

 

 

My mom gets by with General Relief funding, and if she doesn't get a job in the next few months she said she'll apply for Social Security.

 

Thanks again for the tips.

[RecordProducer]

You sound like a really sweet girl and I think you're stressing out too much over how this affects your relationship. The lost key - geez, it happens! Who in the world hasn't lost a key or eyeglasses or money or something else valuable???

 

Just worry about your finances and things will get in place. Your BF doesn't sound like a guy who would be mad at you. He's a good guy, too. Chillax!