irc333 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Okay, people , men and women. Ever encountered a man who asked you out to group events a few times or carpool to an event together. Only to get a little too "close" at the events, puttin ghis hand on the small of your back, calling you pet names like "Hon" or "Sweetie" in front of other people. I know of a few instances, where women had to deal with such an awkward situation to the point of taking the guy outside of the party at the event to tell him to say , "Hey, I'm not into like that, okay?" Plus it makes OTHER people think you're a couple, THUS other men won't approach HER. THing is, this isn't a young, immature thing either I've seen it happen with men doing this of ALL ages even into their 50's. THis one guy, assumed that since he asked a woman to carpool with him to a camping event over the weekend among friends, that they were dating. He never asked her out on a date, just took it upon himself to let himself believe THAT's his g/f. Isee this happening ALOT these days. Women has this happened to you? MEN, have you been guilty/accused of this?
ditzchic Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I've had that happen once or twice. The most recent time it happened I actually invited the guy out to hang out with me and a bunch of my friends (I was trying to set him up with another girl there). He was being all touchy feely and weird all night. I kept trying to introduce him to my friend but he wasn't biting so finally I had to tell him that's why I brought him there and I had no interest in him. He got mad and left. And angry texted me all night. My bigger concern is guys that ask you on one date, you accept and then they assume you are their girlfriend from that point on.
jobaba Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Okay, people , men and women. Ever encountered a man who asked you out to group events a few times or carpool to an event together. Only to get a little too "close" at the events, puttin ghis hand on the small of your back, calling you pet names like "Hon" or "Sweetie" in front of other people. I know of a few instances, where women had to deal with such an awkward situation to the point of taking the guy outside of the party at the event to tell him to say , "Hey, I'm not into like that, okay?" Plus it makes OTHER people think you're a couple, THUS other men won't approach HER. THing is, this isn't a young, immature thing either I've seen it happen with men doing this of ALL ages even into their 50's. THis one guy, assumed that since he asked a woman to carpool with him to a camping event over the weekend among friends, that they were dating. He never asked her out on a date, just took it upon himself to let himself believe THAT's his g/f. Isee this happening ALOT these days. Women has this happened to you? MEN, have you been guilty/accused of this? It's called a surrogate girlfriend. Most men who do this do it with female friends they know pretty well already who generally like them. Sometimes in my more chump, loser days I'd be hanging on the town or at dinner with one of my female friends and notice that'd people would be looking at us or treating us like a couple. It felt good at the time, especially when other girls would look at me and probably think, "Oh that's his girlfriend. She's pretty." Another female friend of mine is all over me when we go out drinking and we get along really well. She has a long term boyfriend who is a bud of mine though. If he weren't in the picture we'd have dated. I'm SURE of it. Anyway, people have always thought she's my girlfriend even though her boyfriend might be at the same function at the same time.
Author irc333 Posted January 17, 2012 Author Posted January 17, 2012 Yeah, and having people think you're togther and hearing your friends say, "Hey, I saw you with that cutie the other night, way to go!!" And you give a thumbs up back to your friends, implying that you're "together" lol Of course, if it gets back to her that you might've implied that, you'll be in trouble! LOL It's called a surrogate girlfriend. Most men who do this do it with female friends they know pretty well already who generally like them. Sometimes in my more chump, loser days I'd be hanging on the town or at dinner with one of my female friends and notice that'd people would be looking at us or treating us like a couple. It felt good at the time, especially when other girls would look at me and probably think, "Oh that's his girlfriend. She's pretty." Another female friend of mine is all over me when we go out drinking and we get along really well. She has a long term boyfriend who is a bud of mine though. If he weren't in the picture we'd have dated. I'm SURE of it. Anyway, people have always thought she's my girlfriend even though her boyfriend might be at the same function at the same time.
jobaba Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I've had that happen once or twice. The most recent time it happened I actually invited the guy out to hang out with me and a bunch of my friends (I was trying to set him up with another girl there). He was being all touchy feely and weird all night. I kept trying to introduce him to my friend but he wasn't biting so finally I had to tell him that's why I brought him there and I had no interest in him. He got mad and left. And angry texted me all night. My bigger concern is guys that ask you on one date, you accept and then they assume you are their girlfriend from that point on. The first paragraph is just something all guys do. It's called playing the numbers. The second paragraph ... I had one friend I knew that was like that. He went on one date with a girl and he'd start calling him his girlfriend. But that guy was really socially backwards. If he were posting here, you'd be able to tell he was off, way off. Not like any of the guys here. He actually has a real girlfriend now and I'm so happy for him. He's really a good dude. He knows a lot about women and relationships now and it only took him one woman. Think about that DC. You could turn a man's life around. Yeah, and having people think you're togther and hearing your friends say, "Hey, I saw you with that cutie the other night, way to go!!" And you give a thumbs up back to your friends, implying that you're "together" lol Of course, if it gets back to her that you might've implied that, you'll be in trouble! LOL It was worse than that. I used to go friends first. So all of my buds already knew her. They constantly used to ask me what was up with me and her. I never lied or anything though. I'm not like that...
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I have a guy friend who I go to a lot of things with, either just us two (like meeting up for a movie) or traveling/carpooling to something (like a Giants/49er game) where we'll be meeting up with others. He doesn't touch me as you've described (unless he's been drinking) or call me pet names, but admittedly in group situations he does tend to stay oddly close to me given that he knows everyone else there and can and should be socializing with others. He also goes and gets my food/drinks for me (sometimes he pays, his own volition). All of our mutual friends know we're not dating, but strangers get the wrong idea. But it actually hasn't stopped the guys from approaching me. They still always find a way to ask if this guy is my boyfriend.
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 The second paragraph ... I had one friend I knew that was like that. He went on one date with a girl and he'd start calling him his girlfriend. But that guy was really socially backwards. If he were posting here, you'd be able to tell he was off, way off. Not like any of the guys here. He actually has a real girlfriend now and I'm so happy for him. He's really a good dude. He knows a lot about women and relationships now and it only took him one woman. Ding ding ding! Totally off topic but that's what I've been talking about. All I need is to get my first GF then I'd be fine! I have a guy friend who I go to a lot of things with, either just us two (like meeting up for a movie) or traveling/carpooling to something (like a Giants/49er game) where we'll be meeting up with others. He doesn't touch me as you've described (unless he's been drinking) or call me pet names, but admittedly in group situations he does tend to stay oddly close to me given that he knows everyone else there and can and should be socializing with others. He also goes and gets my food/drinks for me (sometimes he pays, his own volition). All of our mutual friends know we're not dating, but strangers get the wrong idea. But it actually hasn't stopped the guys from approaching me. They still always find a way to ask if this guy is my boyfriend. Why aren't you dating?
Dust Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Okay, people , men and women. Ever encountered a man who asked you out to group events a few times or carpool to an event together. Only to get a little too "close" at the events, puttin ghis hand on the small of your back, calling you pet names like "Hon" or "Sweetie" in front of other people. I know of a few instances, where women had to deal with such an awkward situation to the point of taking the guy outside of the party at the event to tell him to say , "Hey, I'm not into like that, okay?" Plus it makes OTHER people think you're a couple, THUS other men won't approach HER. THing is, this isn't a young, immature thing either I've seen it happen with men doing this of ALL ages even into their 50's. THis one guy, assumed that since he asked a woman to carpool with him to a camping event over the weekend among friends, that they were dating. He never asked her out on a date, just took it upon himself to let himself believe THAT's his g/f. Isee this happening ALOT these days. Women has this happened to you? MEN, have you been guilty/accused of this? They're trying to friend their way into a relationship... but also acting a little balsy by trying to act like the bf. Really lame when compared to just asking a girl out and trying to kiss her. They try to friend their way in because they think they are geniusus who found a way to avoid rejection. Don't let women get off scott free either though. They like to believe men just want to be their friends... HAHAHAHA Ding ding ding! Totally off topic but that's what I've been talking about. All I need is to get my first GF then I'd be fine! Why aren't you dating? Well go get your one gf. Stargazer isn't dating that guy because 1) the guy never made a move on her 2) she doesn't seem into him! 3) she is silly enough to believe a guy who spends a lone time with her just wants to be friends! hahaha we know better don't we somedude? Stop thinking you can friend your way into a womans life romanticly
Art_Critic Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Martinman.. you should have been banging her.. Either that or it sounds like you became her emotional tampon
snug.bunny Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Yes... I have a few male friends who are touchy/feely, but they're touch/feely with everyone and nothing too lewd. Sure, they'll joke around from time to time, sometimes I did too, but we're just being silly and we don't seem to take it seriously. Granted, I've known them for 10+ years and we all have mutual friends, so it's no biggie. I would say there is one though, who I didn't hang out with that often, he's a brother of a mutual friend. He'd go a little overboard and I found out from a mutual friend that his goal one year, was to bed me . That never happened, ha! I've never dated any of them and I've seen them date other women or have girlfriends. Sometimes when we'd go out, and if a guy would try to hit on me, they would be my man shield.
Author irc333 Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 Interesting thread. I'm best friends with a woman. We hike, camp etc, together. Zero idea why it wasn't physical (before I met my current girlfriend) because she is a knock out. Guys drool all over her. Nobody would ever believe a straight guy could stay in the same tent with her and not at least try to... Sure, now and then I'd fantasize about her but I do that with all women. Oh man, funny you brought this up....this woman I know, who had guys try to make "Sleeping arrangements" at the camp sites to kind of "pool resources" within the same sleeping quarters. One guy tried to give her a shoulder massage (was starting foreplay), and she told him to back the heck off. Another situation, where she shared the same RV Space with her male friend she carpooled up to the campsite with the other people of the camping group. They slept on opposite sides of the camper, but people would start pushing/shaking the RV, making "if this is a van is rockin' , don't come a knockin" jokes or jokes in the same vein. lol
Dust Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Interesting thread. I'm best friends with a woman. We hike, camp etc, together. Zero idea why it wasn't physical (before I met my current girlfriend) because she is a knock out. Guys drool all over her. Nobody would ever believe a straight guy could stay in the same tent with her and not at least try to... Sure, now and then I'd fantasize about her but I do that with all women. Then we went to Maui together for a week. Cripes, then it dawned on me that here I am, in my favorite hostel, surrounded by a dozen single women and they think that me and the other gal are a couple. To top it off I can't go to Little Wakena beach, the nude one, because being with her was like being with my sister...would feel awkward naked in front of eachother. Actually, I'd have probably got 'excited' and that would have been awkward. However, had a good time. Still love her dearly as a friend. We still get the odd invite 'as a couple'. She calls me up once a week or so about science and nature issues. Email eachother with interesting science facts. I got her a microscope for Christmas and prepared some slides for her ...she said it was the best gift she ever got. The couple years I'ver known her she's not had as date. She said I'm the only guy that doesn't bore her with small talk. She can have a guy whenever she wants so it's quite flattering but odd at the same time. She's definitelty not gay but 'just not interested' at this time in her life with other guys. Bottom line. I do now have a girlfriend. However, some friends think the other gal is my girlfriend. It took a while for my girlfriend to really berleve that the other gal and i aren't more than friends. My girlfriend thinks of me as a raving sex maniac and says it was a hard to accept that if I wasn't in a relationship I wouldn't try 'doing that gal' let alone a table leg. Martinman.. you should have been banging her.. Either that or it sounds like you became her emotional tampon Why Art did he put us through the torture of telling us how he thinks some hot girl he goes camping with back when they were both single is like a sister to him...
Dust Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Ha! Ha! Makes no sense even to me. She phoned me this morning because she is worried about the birds at her feeders not having the right food. She has a thick Hungarian accent and sounds exactly like a caricature of a female vampire. Her voice is sexy as hell and I've seen guys stopped in their tracks when she talks. I told her I'll get the right types of bird food and then she said she'll make me her ethnic equivalent of apple pancakes. We will talk about birds and othe nature subjects, eat pancakes, drink a pot of tea and then I'll go home. Oh god. I can't really relate to you as a person. Maybe you're in great denial and have a massive fear of rejection. Also your current gf must not have high self esteem to date a guy with this kind of side one on one relationship going on. You'd think she atleast would have a problem with it big enough to dump you if you didn't change your "wicked" ways. I mean this thread is about "Men who assume they're dating her" but does you friend assume she's dating you asking you to pick up milk I mean bird seed on your way over to see her...
carhill Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I recall feeding each other dinner at a little eatery during a layover at IAD (Dulles airport) whilst playing a bit of footsie under the table. All the aspects of dating were in play, save for one, the most important one, yeah you guys know which one. One example of many with that one. Masterful validation. Gold medal. I'd say the best of the bunch. Silver medal goes to the MW who invited me to lay my head in her lap and stroked it whilst riding in the back seat of the car on a trip, that after a bit of 'ahem' at the lake. Not so MW anymore, but now dating a nice widower, she'll clean my teeth tomorrow Really, is the answer Edited January 18, 2012 by carhill
Feelsgoodman Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Women who assume men are interested in them as "friends" Ever encountered a woman who thought a man would invite her somewhere because he liked her as a friend? And then get confused when he started putting on the moves? Women need to understand that a man is not going to invite you anywhere if he's not interested in you "like that". It doesn't matter if he's asking you out for dinner or inviting you to go fishing. A man is not going to spend a minute of his with a woman he isn't interested in "like that". In fact, we are genetically wired to completely ignore women we are not interested in "like that". So if a man invites you to do something and you don't fancy him, don't accept the invitation. Or, we you choose to accept the invitation, don't complain when things get awkward.
Feelsgoodman Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 I would have agreed when I was younger. somewhat like being in a Twilight Zone episode but a good one. don't mind being her tampon or anything else. She's a good friend and we do all types of activities together. Kind of nice to have a friend who actually bakes me pies and is fascinated by me telling her about plants, insects, etc. when we're out hiking. However, in my younger years, youre right...my hands would have been all over her. I don't buy it even for a second! You're trying to tell me that you wouldn't have sex with a hot chick because she's more important to you as someone to converse with about plants and insects? Really?? You are just afraid to make a move. Or maybe you know that she would reject your advances. But let's face it, if this girl was butt ugly and you didn't fantasize about her, there's no way you'd be going to Maui with her. And if she made a move on you, I bet you $1000 you wouldn't be saying "no, I don't want to ruin out friendship". So cut the crap will you? Plants and insects my ass
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