GivenUp0083 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I'm now about 8 months removed from my agonizing breakup. If no one remembers me, I had the gf that dumped me because she "wanted a love story head over heels love at first sight" relationship...which we didn't have I guess. Anyway, I'm a stubborn guy, and I'm also a guy who has a hard time being patient and just sitting back and doing nothing. I'm a do-er, I'm a go-getter...so this was very hard for me. But, despite all the times I was convinced I would email or call my ex with an attempt to just talk to her, spill my guts to her, or btch her out....you guys helped me see the poor reasoning behind it every time. Even though many of you had to argue with me about it, I would end up not making the call or didn't have it in me to send the email...and for this I thank you all. I think I'm truly over the relationship. No amount of money on earth could get me to take that girl back if she came back crying into my arms. It was emotional rock bottom for me and I'm a better man because of it. I don't focus on having a girlfriend so much anymore, I've been focusing on my own life instead. I've lost weight, buffed up in the gym, joined random sports teams, I've been teaching myself how to cook meal at home, and I'm currently taking guitar lessons. Things I probably would NEVER have done if I was still with this girl. The best thing is not worrying about being single anymore. It was something that bothered me for years before meeting this girl, and a little while after the breakup, but now I really don't care if I find a woman and it's very nice to have that weight off my shoulders. For those of you struggling right now. Think of the pain as something that is shaping you, molding you into something better. In the end you'll be glad you saw the hardships because when you do find someone great someday you'll appreciate them that much more.
Exit Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Congrats. Not only is NC an important tool for just about everyone, it's important to make that shift to understanding that being single is perfectly fine. I've realized in myself that I've idealized relationships ever since high school, I just thought it was so cool to reach that age where you could have a girlfriend, and I haven't stopped since. Like you, I'm finding time for all the projects I put aside and goals I never reached. Just finished working out a few minutes ago actually. The ultimate ideal, is to be able to have a relationship, and continue to pursue my own goals. That's what most healthy people do in a relationship. The way I always put everything aside just because it's satisfying enough to know that someone loves me the way I am is not the healthiest way to look at it. But until the day I can get that right, being single is perfect. Good job on your healing, it's always nice to hear when someone is feeling a lot better.
radiodarcy Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 that's great to hear GivenUp! believe me we all know what it's like to struggle with that urge to contact - - whether it's to yell, plead, cry, whatever. but the more you hold out, the stronger you become. my ex recently made contact with me after 8 months of NC to tell me his gf is pregnant and how he's sooo happy. sure it kind of bummed me out. but i'm handling it much better than i would have had i given into those urges and broken NC. the funny thing is - - he still tries to contact me now. but it's easier to ignore him. dating has helped me see that there are other guys out there. but i've also come to realize that whether i have a guy in my life or not - - i'm going to be ok on my own regardless. and i'm glad you've come to that realization as well.
Buttercup84 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 that's great to hear GivenUp! believe me we all know what it's like to struggle with that urge to contact - - whether it's to yell, plead, cry, whatever. but the more you hold out, the stronger you become. my ex recently made contact with me after 8 months of NC to tell me his gf is pregnant and how he's sooo happy. sure it kind of bummed me out. but i'm handling it much better than i would have had i given into those urges and broken NC. the funny thing is - - he still tries to contact me now. but it's easier to ignore him. dating has helped me see that there are other guys out there. but i've also come to realize that whether i have a guy in my life or not - - i'm going to be ok on my own regardless. and i'm glad you've come to that realization as well. I think if he were so happy he wouldn't contact you . You are doing so much better than him
stitch702 Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 I love these stories and I hope more survivors would post these as well. I am just shy of 3 months from my break up and have resisted urges to break N/C...althought sometimes it can be very difficult. I am currently struggling with being single and trying to avoid rebounding because I know deep down inside that I do not want a relationship to tie me down at this point in my life. I hope one day there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for me as well, but right now I can't see it so I'll just soldier on...
CLS63AMG Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 I love these stories and I hope more survivors would post these as well. I am just shy of 3 months from my break up and have resisted urges to break N/C...althought sometimes it can be very difficult. I am currently struggling with being single and trying to avoid rebounding because I know deep down inside that I do not want a relationship to tie me down at this point in my life. I hope one day there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for me as well, but right now I can't see it so I'll just soldier on... Stay single and enjoy it, I loved being single before my recent relationship that just blew up and died (post is on here). You'll know when you are ready, right now any rejection from some random date could drop you back down a few notches. Again, you'll know when the time is right.
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