musemaj11 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 The worst thing about being a woman is that their physical appearance is pretty much their fate. In my opinion the luckiest people are handsome rich men. They can get sex from any woman they want and relationship from any woman they want.
Dust Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Eh, I really don't mean to be a jerk; but I don't like it when people post advice on things that they've had no experience with. It's like me giving the 49'ers tips on how they can win their next game. Or for you guys across the pond, telling your favorite Futbol team how they can beat their rival. Oh cmon he's in your situation so you can relate to him. If anything take away the fact that he has a posotive attitude. I hear you, I don't care though, I post advice on a lot of stuff I don't personally know about, and have received such. I'm not somebody to belittle one who doesn't have 1st hand experience, especially when one can still read and pass on, and actually talk to people too to confirm my beliefs. He can alteast relate to you. Your advice is motivational even if you don't have a lot of experience. In the end even if some one with a lot of experience gives him advice he still has to pick and choose what to do. Also this type of life experience has to be lived. He can't just learn it from Don Juan over the internet. Whether its you or me giving the advice he has to get out there and do something. The problem with passing on advice that you have no real experience on, is that it can be completely unhelpful and may actually make things worse or dangerous. One such example is somebody with no sexual experience, telling their equally inexperienced friend to wear two condoms. Which actually increases the chance of condom breakage. Look in the end some one with a lot of sexual experience might give you ****ty advice like that. Anything you hear on here or any where else can't just be trusted because some guy claims to have experience. You have to use your critical thinking. My favorite thing to tell somedudes is "you know what to do so do it!" Time for action. You said you asked out a girl recently and plan to ask her out again! Great! Now keep asking out girls. You treat this as a numbers game if you don't just live your life and continue searching till you've found what you're looking for. If you just stop at some arbitrary number... "I've asked out 3 girls this week I'm done" then thats a numbers game. Keep asking out girls and have fun with it. Be flirty and silly and smile! Then make some moves! Agreed. Its quality not quantity. I am tired of getting hit on my men who are stringing alot several girls at the same time to see which one will fall. Or by men who want a booty call. Oh god quality over quantity. How do you know you're a booty call? Most men here would love to be a booty call haha. Look I know because you play the game that is life from an elevated position you have higher standards... Kind of how a rich guy complains when his meal takes a long time to come out... You're problems real though and you should get to feel loved and protected instead of used by men. You just have it easier! Not that it does any good to argue this to women so this thread should have never been made. Kind of entertaining to think about though. I'm not sure if you're being serious, but dude, if you are, that's terribly untrue. Back in the tropical country that I used to live in, the women walk around under the sun in waist-long hair and padded bras while the guys complain in their singlets and shorts. And would you like to have a computer assembly contest? If we had a computer assembly contest I'd use you as the mother board for my rig. For the last time, women are human beings with normal human experiences and do not have it all encompassingly easier then men. We might get approaced more then women approach you but that does NOT equate to having it easier. Perhaps really hot goregous women have it eaiser, but being a regular girl of regular looks, who often gets told how "cute" she is like some puppy dog, I do not have men left and right approaching me looking to date me. I have had men of all different heights and body types reject me. So please stop for once and for all with this bullsh*t excuse to act like women just have it so easy because you simply don't want to understand what many regular women go through in dating and life themselves. I truely do think you guys hae it easier. But really no point in caring or trying to convince women. I think girls have it easier and men have it better if they are willing to take the power that comes with being a man. Same with most children having it easier but adults having it better if they use their power. I mean a child can have bad things happen to them, just like a woman they need to be protected and cared for... but as an adult you can have all the powers of a child and more if you choose to take it. I think it does the men here more harm then good to focus on women have it easier. Yes a loser woman has more chance at sucess then a loser man. But on the inverse a great man will have vastly more oportunities then a great woman! Ok, I just remembered when I was in the States, I did get hit on a couple of times, on the bus or in the street, and the guys were actually nice, regular guys, not the kind of weirdos like here. I never really perceive being hit on here as a compliment, in fact, it makes me question myself, because why did this weirdo choose to approach me? Even on the online dating site I was, I felt like a freak, because many guys who approach me were weird. The only guy I'm talking to right now is American. Thanks for saying that about guys in the states! But only a woman would question herself because of the "weirdo's" who approach her. Thats such a woman thing lol
Monm82 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I don't think most guys like chasing. Mostly the George Clooney types truly like it. I don't care about being a real man or whatever. I only care about being human.
SteveC80 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I dont know as a supposenly really good looking guy in my younger days i had it absurdly easy women even married ones would sometimes borderline stalk me it got kind of annoying to be honest Though i can see how for average and unattractive men it cna be hard, i had evne uglies and fatties approach me even if i mistretaed them or let the. know i have no interest theyd still pursue me and ingore my less attratcive friends who would have treated them well i do think Men do have a more diverse taste in women then vice versa,most women do go after the top 5% of men
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 And you still dont seem to get this whole dating thing. This is the one thing I agree with you. I don't understand the dating thing. It's like I'm still trying to figure out if I'm playing Football or Futbol. Dude. You have the confidence and bravado of someone who is 22 and has never had problems with women. Understandable. But sympathize with the people who don't have it so easy. Im 25 and have had problems here and there. I dont get every girl I want. I dont have as much sex as I would like, but that is kind of my fault since I refuse to settle or randomly hook up since Ive done enough of that. I may have self confidence but I still get stymied by fear of rejection when meeting new girls, just like every other guy. I just force my way through it because regrets would suck way more. Sometimes I get surprised by how things turn out when I just go for it. I do sympathize with guys here, but I dont want to feed their negativity. Ive had times where Ive felt ugly, unattractive, unaccomplished, etc...but I look in the mirror at myself and ask myself "what do you think about yourself?" And the truth comes out. Im none of those bad thing and I pull myself out of the rut. Here's what you don't understand. Having problems here and there, not having as much sex as you want. Is not the same thing as not being able to date at all and not having had sex in a few years. There is just no comparison. The biggest difference is the mentality. You've gotten girls many times before, and you know you can do it again, no problem. I haven't gotten a girl at all. I have no success to base my confidence on. When I think of asking out a new girl, all I can imagine is how she's going to reject me. I simply don't have any hope that a girl will say yes. Be thankful that you've never had to deal with that. Do you not feel you could satisfy most of her 'criteria'? I don't see anything about superficial stuff like 'must earn 100k/year' or 'must be 6'5"' in hers, as opposed to some of the 'perky boobs, great ass, nice hair, nice skin' stuff some men here spout. Her criteria sounds like traits any reasonably decent guy could have, except for the lack of differences part. I do find those a bit stringent. Yes her criteria are reasonable. Can I satisfy them. I'm not sure about "extremely interesting, funny, sexy, parts. Then the last two and is long-term partner and father material. Right now, absolutely not. I'm not ready to play in the big leagues. What happened to big breasts, no LDR, long hair, and a few other things I've seen you mention? No LDR should be a given. The vast majority of people marry somebody who lives in the same town they do. Or at least within 20 miles. Long hair, yes shoulder length hair is a requirement but it's not exactly hard for a woman to meet. Big boobs:love: Such a fetish of mine. I would be ecstatic to date a girl who was thinish and D or larger. But it's not a requirement. I guess a B is fine. Beggars can't be choosers right Really, this entire premise is amusing. Assuming that lesbian and gay couples are approximately equal in number, in parts of the world in which monogyny is rare (that includes most of you) - for every woman in an R, there is a man in an R as well. So how is it that it is soooooooooooo easy for women to be in compatible Rs and not for men? I'll answer your post with this one I am tired of getting hit on my men who are stringing alot several girls at the same time to see which one will fall. Or by men who want a booty call. That's what's wrong with dating. The men trying to hold onto more than one woman at a time, and the women who allow it.
PlumPrincess Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Thanks for saying that about guys in the states! But only a woman would question herself because of the "weirdo's" who approach her. Thats such a woman thing lol Yeah, I saw this thread where a guy was actually pleased and took it as a compliment when some woman hit on him. It stuck with me, because I thought, he thinks it's a compliment while I worry about myself. I guess, when I wrote the other post, I had a mini epiphany - it's not me, it's them!
GivenUp0083 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I went through a phase in my mid 20's where I thought something was wrong with me. I couldn't land dates, and the only dates I could land was with women I met on match.com and they'd drop me after a couple dates with NO REJECTION at all, just disappear and it was super frustrating. In the end, I realized that it's better to focus on your own life than depending on another's to make you happy. I'm now 9 months after the toughest breakup of my life with a woman I was deeply in love with and tore my heart from my chest....but I've realized these tough experiences shaped me into the man I am today. Here's what I've done to improve myself and make myself happy: I've lost 30 lbs via weightlifting alone. I've started cooking at home for health reasons, but I know there's a lot of women out there that appreciate men that can cook a good meal. I'm currently taking guitar lessons. I've wanted to for a long time and it wasn't until I recovered from emotional rock bottom that I actually signed up for this. Also, women love a guy that can play guitar I've joined some sports teams where I didn't know anyone. Not necessarily with the sole purpose of meeting single women, but just to meet new people in general, have fun, be social, make new friends. You never know who you're going to meet. I've focused on making myself better at my job through reading books on sales and attitude and I beat my Q4 sales goal by 400%! I'll be getting a five figure paycheck in 3 days. Now I'm thinking about using that money to save up to put money on a home or take a trip to Europe. All that being said I did switch to eharmony because it's so much easier for me to use as I don't believe in wasting my time reading profiles or thinking of clever first emails to write. I just take one day at a time. I ask out women I meet on a daily basis but no bites so far in the last 4 months. I've been on one date with a couple more lined up from eharmony but I don't know if anything will work out.....and it doesn't bother me at all because I'm already happy with how things are going for myself that it doesn't matter if I have a girlfriend or not. That's the key. Be happy on your own. Actually make an effort to improve yourself and try new things. If you focus too much on finding someone you'll just drive yourself nuts. Just accept the fact there's a good chance you'll never get married your entire life. Once that sinks in, nothing can bother you because I think of marriage and a girlfriend as a bonus, not a goal. If it happens and I find one, great! If I don't, well that leaves more time for me to enjoy the other many fruits of life....especially a single life that you can't enjoy if you were married.
iris219 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Generally, it's easier for women to get sex and easier for men to get relationships. But, it really depends on the ratio of men to women. There are many more women where I live, so they either stay single for long periods of time or they date the same guy. It's common where I live for guys to date more than one woman, and we're not talking high quality guys here. Some women tolerate this because the only other option is to be single. One of my female friends has been single for 9 years and desperately wants to find someone. Men NEVER approach her (because there are so few and they're in very high demand) and she's cute--long dark hair, not overweight, large breasts. Her only real criteria is that they be educated and have a job. I don't even have those standards and I can't find anyone. Where I live, it is MUCH easier for men. One of my best friends just moved because of the lack of dating here. She couldn't take it anymore. I believe the guys on here when they say they have difficulty dating. It's just out of the realm of my experiences.
Dust Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Generally, it's easier for women to get sex and easier for men to get relationships. But, it really depends on the ratio of men to women. There are many more women where I live, so they either stay single for long periods of time or they date the same guy. It's common where I live for guys to date more than one woman, and we're not talking high quality guys here. Some women tolerate this because the only other option is to be single. One of my female friends has been single for 9 years and desperately wants to find someone. Men NEVER approach her (because there are so few and they're in very high demand) and she's cute--long dark hair, not overweight, large breasts. Her only real criteria is that they be educated and have a job. I don't even have those standards and I can't find anyone. Where I live, it is MUCH easier for men. One of my best friends just moved because of the lack of dating here. She couldn't take it anymore. I believe the guys on here when they say they have difficulty dating. It's just out of the realm of my experiences. I'm not lieing to you when I say this... but you are one of the most pain in the butt girls who posts on this site! I used to think Stargazer was a hard ass till you started posting here. Cypress25 posts about all stuff I hate yet she gives me a warmer feeling the you... then again this is just the internet and who knows how you actually come off in person. My sugesttion is you leave your area especialy if you want to have kids.
somedude81 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 But, it really depends on the ratio of men to women. There are many more women where I live, so they either stay single for long periods of time or they date the same guy. It's common where I live for guys to date more than one woman, and we're not talking high quality guys here. Some women tolerate this because the only other option is to be single. One of my female friends has been single for 9 years and desperately wants to find someone. Men NEVER approach her (because there are so few and they're in very high demand) and she's cute--long dark hair, not overweight, large breasts. Her only real criteria is that they be educated and have a job. I don't even have those standards and I can't find anyone. Where I live, it is MUCH easier for men. One of my best friends just moved because of the lack of dating here. She couldn't take it anymore. I believe the guys on here when they say they have difficulty dating. It's just out of the realm of my experiences. Where do you live so I can go there?
iris219 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I'm not lieing to you when I say this... but you are one of the most pain in the butt girls who posts on this site! I used to think Stargazer was a hard ass till you started posting here. Cypress25 posts about all stuff I hate yet she gives me a warmer feeling the you... then again this is just the internet and who knows how you actually come off in person. My sugesttion is you leave your area especialy if you want to have kids. I'm just as annoying in real life.
darkmoon Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 i once heard it's a man's world generally but a woman's world when she's young
iris219 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Where do you live so I can go there? You'd be surprised how often I think about you, Somedude. When I'm out and there's all these groups of girls that don't get approached by men all night, I think about you and some of the other guys on LS. You all would have a field day here!
snug.bunny Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 Final thread? Ha! I'll believe it when I see it.
Titania22 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Ok, I just remembered when I was in the States, I did get hit on a couple of times, on the bus or in the street, and the guys were actually nice, regular guys, not the kind of weirdos like here. I never really perceive being hit on here as a compliment, in fact, it makes me question myself, because why did this weirdo choose to approach me? Even on the online dating site I was, I felt like a freak, because many guys who approach me were weird. The only guy I'm talking to right now is American. I get the same feeling. That if I was ever to have a relationship again, I would need to move to america to find it. I actually had a conversation with a canadian guy about it:- Guy: If you went to america you could have sex everyday Me: With the same man? Guy: If that's what you want...Americans are into monogamy. I know it's one guy, but it does give the idea, that my perception of american men is shared by others and not just women. You'd be surprised how often I think about you, Somedude. When I'm out and there's all these groups of girls that don't get approached by men all night, I think about you and some of the other guys on LS. You all would have a field day here! I was going to suggest somedude comes out here to try his luck with the australian women, but I am guessing that you (iris) are closer and easier for him to get to.
NYC-BigKat Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 We dont enjoy it more. We just want it more. Tbh, I sometimes wonder what it feels like for women to have sex and what their orgasms feel like...because they seem to have such more intense reactions to sex than we do as men. And women can also have multiples. I mean wtf...unfair lol Tbh, I think I have it better being a guy because Im not conditioned to have love fall in my lap. I think thats great because I truly can choose the best for me. Guys like Somedude, who just want for women to fall in his lap, are only settling for whatever comes along. How is that satisfying. A lot of guys and gals will just settle for whatever comes along despite not being so compatible. That doesnt mean its any easier for them in dating. We all still have to find someone we click with and truly want. I dont see dating as this hard game with an uber boss level (getting sex) like some guys here do. For all the stuff guys complain about here, women can complain about as well. We are also picky and shallow as well, and many of us seem to approach the same type of woman. I know girls who NEVER get approached but are nice and cute gals. One of my best female friends never has guys hit on her. She says she feels invisible. No we do not enjoy sex more than women. Again, we just want it more on average. And whats wrong with child support laws? Without them many kids would go without things they need growing up. For every guy who gets screwed by those laws, theres a ton of guys outrunning them and not doing what they should do as fathers. Child support laws are necessary imo When it comes to abortions, I understand guys wanting to have a say...but at the end of the day we cannot control someone elses body, and we did have a say in whether or not we had sex with that woman. So it is what it is. I lol'd at the children part. Anyone who ever complains in dating needs to man up, or wo-man up. Girls come here and complain and expect a great guy to fall in their lap as well. People need to take control of their life and stop expecting it to just come to them. And yes...dudes need to take the pussy off the pedestal. Ive loved that piece of advice ever since I saw 40 Year Old Virgin. The brother in the movie tells the main character this. I like your threads they'r so good man. I dont have a gf & I'm okay with it for now. I do try when I get a chance to. The thing is talking to a girl isnt hard really. Most girls arent even mean. They usually reject nicely with an excuse of having a man or something. I never really had a girl act mean to me just for talking to her. The worst would be an ignore. Guys do need to keep at it til 1 of them drops. It has to eventually. Its like retaking a test over & over til u pass.
maysj18 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 How many men have you rejected/friendzoned in a platonic setting, in college settings, class or at work? Those are all potential relationships for you. So is getting hit on at a bar. Yes, a lot of the guys at bars want booty calls, but other guys there would want to enter into a relationship with you. \. Uhhh, what does that have to do with anything? "Potential" relationship doesn't mean compatible. Potential relationships constantly surround every single person, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm not going to go out with anyone I don't have a connection with, even if they are the most attractive person on this planet. Getting hit on by a sloppy, overly affection drunk is not flattering and those are usually the type of guys that troll the bar scene.
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I'm just as annoying in real life. Me, too! <3 I don't think you're annoying. I'm not sure what sparked the above exchange, but if you're being called a pain in the butt, because you aren't a simpering female, catering to the male ego, then more power to you.
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Uhhh, what does that have to do with anything? "Potential" relationship doesn't mean compatible. Potential relationships constantly surround every single person, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm not going to go out with anyone I don't have a connection with, even if they are the most attractive person on this planet. Getting hit on by a sloppy, overly affection drunk is not flattering and those are usually the type of guys that troll the bar scene. I've asked guys here the same question that you just responded to, and their usual response is that they have standards, and shouldn't be expected to date those they aren't attracted to.
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) Yes. But without knowing anything about Cerri, if she's too picky, she's gonna end up in her mid 30s and single. That's where it will even out. I know a group of women in that category who have passed up many good men. By then, you'll have a girlfriend and she may be looking at you and be saying, "Damn, I should have picked Somedude. I didn't have the spark with him, but he's a good guy and pretty stable." It's so easy for people to throw this around, without knowing so many women individually and knowing why they might still be single. Some of us don't get approached when out, but have male friends end up falling in love with us. (attached friends who are supposed to be in love with their girlfriends.) Some of us had issues we were trying to work out, and also trying to avoid sociopathic men (after living with one as a child - I had recurring nightmares for years). I didn't really have a "youth" and rarely felt good about my looks; I may not have been a stunner, I knew my body was wanted and useful to anyone throwing out cat-calls (and I also dealt with curb crawlers when I was younger). A mother's boyfriend starting to get inappropriate, and he was stopped in his tracks. You get the idea. I knew my body would be useful, but haven't met anyone who was just plain good to me, wooed me as they would a beautiful girl. Now I'm 36, and nobody warns you about your mid-thirties. I was happier before, when I was happy enough in my own skin, and not focusing on attracting men. All this talk of things evening out, when it isn't so cut and dried in the first place. Makes me sick. I *am* picky, but not concerning the size of a man's wallet, or the circumference of his bicep. Edited January 18, 2012 by Anela
maysj18 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I've asked guys here the same question that you just responded to, and their usual response is that they have standards, and shouldn't be expected to date those they aren't attracted to. Exactly. It's not a gender thing, it's a human thing. A healthy relationship requires connection, chemistry, and some level of attraction.
somedude81 Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I've asked guys here the same question that you just responded to, and their usual response is that they have standards, and shouldn't be expected to date those they aren't attracted to. If you'd notice, she completely dodged my question to her and she avoided jobaba question about classes, work, and other non-bar settings.
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 It reinforces my theory that the majority of guys go for the minority of girls, because I have never been hit on or asked for my phone number, and last I checked, I do indeed have the lady parts. I have a few friends that brag about getting hit on a lot, but they're usually either 1) super hot 2) really, really, really out going 3) surrounded by geek guys who put them up on pedestals. What really gets to me about these sorts of threads is it reinforces this idea that if you don't have swarms of guys begging for your attention daily/weekly, then not only are you unattractive, you are a failure of a woman. It frankly makes me want to approach guys even LESS, because obviously I'm an ugly monster and they're gonna reject me or else I'd be swimming in available men. Same here. My sister and more than one cousin, have had men tripping over themselves to get their attention, and wanting to date them, whereas I hardly ever get the sweetness. My sister has always been prettier than I am; I apparently classified more as "hot" but still hardly ever have anyone actually talk to me as a person. I noticed one guy looking at me in the bookstore the other night. My first thought was that I hoped he hadn't recognized me from a dating site - for his girlfriend's sake and mine. i need to take that picture down again.
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Women are weaker and less horny then men. This isn't true at all. Men for the most part are the chasers... and yes that is harder. But think of this we are toughter then women. When some one whines about it being to cold or hot... women! When some one gets creeped out or scared... women! When some one doesn't understand even the most basic of machines... women! Now I know there are a lot of somedudes out there too... but Somedude its time to claim your right as a man! Oh, boy... you really believe the above?
Anela Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 If you'd notice, she completely dodged my question to her and she avoided jobaba question about classes, work, and other non-bar settings. I really hope you find what you're looking for, somedude. I feel for you, even if it doesn't always seem so.
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