Women have it easier than men ... final thread

[ThaWholigan]

That to me is the real problem. The "winners" you notice are never desperate or pining or worrying if they have someone...even if they go for weeks or months without getting laid. Something to learn from.

 

Indeed, great piece of advice there

[kaylan]

Just from reading the title I was getting prepared about what I wanted to say. And it turns out I already contributed

 

Yay, something I can comment on

 

No, it's not similar at all.

Simply by having more opportunities it's easier for women to find a quality man to be in a relationship with. Anybody who disagrees with me is not seeing the big picture.

Some women and men like yourself, who dont take initiative in their dating life, are doomed to less opportunities. You dont even try bro. Dust keeps telling you to try, but I can see in your posts that you dont try. And you still dont seem to get this whole dating thing. Its rather easy once you get yourself out there.

I see cerri's requirements that she posted for a man she can be in a relationship with

I look for common values and similar worldviews.

I see if long-term goals are the same.

I determine if we'll be at odds about children, home, career, family, friends, and my need for space.

I'

m

honest with myself about other needs as well.

Namely, that he be extremely interesting, funny, sexy, warm, free from ghosts from relationships past, and is long-term partner and father material

.

 

And I'm just jealous that she can require so many things, and have no issue finding a man who can offer all of them as long as she dates smart.

That list isnt far out there. Most people have those exact requirements when it comes to a LTR or marriage. They basically want to be with someone who sees life the way they do.

My requirements is that a girl have common interests and hobbies be fun to be with and not be overweight. But people (men and women) are telling that I should actually drop the not overweight requirement becasuse it's too limiting. Really?

Well when you are a short guy, with barely any experience,...can you blame them for saying that?

 

I say the same thing, but I work out and am active. Plus I do have options myself. Basically, beggars cant be choosers. Why not just get some experience under your belt in the mean time and just date who is interested?

If a woman were to post on this board how she is considering dating a man she is not attracted to, every poster would tell her no and give a multitude of reasons why not. So why should a man date somebody he is not attracted to?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO OPTIONS!

 

When you have no options people will tell you to give it a go. All the regular posters here know you have no options. They wouldnt be saying the same things to Pizzaman or a seasoned guy like carhill.

 

Just have fun with whoever comes around...I think you might surprised yourself.

But maybe I should try to force myself to be into a girl that I'm not into at all, just because she's nice. I'm sure she'd love that. What woman wouldn't be happy that her man wants her just because she's a woman and nothing else.

You dont have to be "with" her. Just date around bro.

Right now I'm so stressed about my dating life/future that it's giving me regular insomnia. I started writing this message after I woke up at 4:30 AM. Something's got to give.

 

 

And quality guys never approach you anywhere else?

Shes waiting for me to sweep her off her feet:cool:

[jobaba]

Women have it easier when it comes to receiving sex. Thats about it. And thats guys faults for not having standards and being willing to sleep with almost any woman.

 

Both sexes have it hard when it comes to finding someone compatible for a relationship

 

Dude. You have the confidence and bravado of someone who is 22 and has never had problems with women. Understandable. But sympathize with the people who don't have it so easy.

 

Agreed ^

Just because I get hit on, doesnt mean I have it easy. I want to be in a relationship, not be some booty call. 99.9% of the time, guys that hit on me at a bar or whistle out on the street only care about getting lucky, which is not going to happen; therefore I'm left in the same boat as you.

 

How many men have you rejected/friendzoned in a platonic setting, in college settings, class or at work? Those are all potential relationships for you. So is getting hit on at a bar. Yes, a lot of the guys at bars want booty calls, but other guys there would want to enter into a relationship with you.

 

There is some truth to this, but I also think many men need to first find themselves. They also need to stop equating their value in life with if they have a woman or not, or if they can get laid or not.

 

I speak from experience. I was a doormat...a "woe is me" guy...a bitter nice guy. What changed is when I stopped looking at dating as a necessity of my life. When I stopped worrying if I'll end up alone or with someone in life.

 

Some of you can think "well it's easy for grkBoy to say this...he has someone". I remember a former friend constantly saying "at least you have someone" when I had a GF years ago, but then and now I never understood why so many men and women put such an emphasis on "having someone" as their measure of value.

 

My fiance could flip out on me, dump me, and run off with some douchebag. I would be hurt for a few weeks or months...but I'd pick up the pieces and move on. I wouldn't sit there thinking I'm less of a man because I'm alone or because she dumped me...but simply state that the only person who matters most in my life is ME. My family and friends are important, but they come second to me in most situations.

 

Would I date again? Maybe...if I happen to meet someone, but I would not suddenly go on dating sites and go ballistic looking to meet someone. I would not worry if people say "you know, you're not getting any younger".

 

That to me is the real problem. The "winners" you notice are never desperate or pining or worrying if they have someone...even if they go for weeks or months without getting laid. Something to learn from.

 

Yea. I agree you have to be happy single. But you also can't sit on your arse. Other men are hitting on women while you are, and they will win out.

 

It's not that men nor women have it easier. Goodlooking people have it the easiest in dating. They have choices falling out of the sky. They always have and they always will. That's just the way it is.

 

Read the whole post.

[kaylan]

 

Oh, by the way, I know I'm a virgin so I don't know this 1st hand, but women can enjoy sex much more than we do. We get hornier quicker, and our sex drive doesn't take long to get aroused, like a switch. A woman's is like a pot on a stove that gets warmer and warmer. You know, this is why attraction is important, because it also makes it easier for you to be good in bed if you are experimental and enjoying yourself. If you can make a woman squirt on your walls 5 times, she'll ALWAYS want to have sex with you.....

A woman you satisfy sexually will stick by you for a long time. Add in emotional support and stimulating conversation and shes yours for life.

 

Spot on post.

 

Eh, I really don't mean to be a jerk; but I don't like it when people post advice on things that they've had no experience with.

 

It's like me giving the 49'ers tips on how they can win their next game. Or for you guys across the pond, telling your favorite Futbol team how they can beat their rival.

He's right though.

 

And the 49ers aint winning their next game. The Giants are gonna rape them. lolz

[jobaba]

I see cerri's requirements that she posted for a man she can be in a relationship with

I look for common values and similar worldviews.

I see if long-term goals are the same.

I determine if we'll be at odds about children, home, career, family, friends, and my need for space.

I'

m

honest with myself about other needs as well.

Namely, that he be extremely interesting, funny, sexy, warm, free from ghosts from relationships past, and is long-term partner and father material

.

 

And I'm just jealous that she can require so many things, and have no issue finding a man who can offer all of them as long as she dates smart.

 

My requirements is that a girl have common interests and hobbies be fun to be with and not be overweight. But people (men and women) are telling that I should actually drop the not overweight requirement becasuse it's too limiting. Really?

 

Yes. But without knowing anything about Cerri, if she's too picky, she's gonna end up in her mid 30s and single. That's where it will even out.

 

I know a group of women in that category who have passed up many good men.

 

By then, you'll have a girlfriend and she may be looking at you and be saying, "Damn, I should have picked Somedude. I didn't have the spark with him, but he's a good guy and pretty stable."

[kaylan]

Dude. You have the confidence and bravado of someone who is 22 and has never had problems with women. Understandable. But sympathize with the people who don't have it so easy.

 

Im 25 and have had problems here and there. I dont get every girl I want. I dont have as much sex as I would like, but that is kind of my fault since I refuse to settle or randomly hook up since Ive done enough of that.

 

I may have self confidence but I still get stymied by fear of rejection when meeting new girls, just like every other guy. I just force my way through it because regrets would suck way more. Sometimes I get surprised by how things turn out when I just go for it.

 

I do sympathize with guys here, but I dont want to feed their negativity. Ive had times where Ive felt ugly, unattractive, unaccomplished, etc...but I look in the mirror at myself and ask myself "what do you think about yourself?" And the truth comes out. Im none of those bad thing and I pull myself out of the rut.

 

Guys need to see its not so bad when they believe in themselves and go make things happen.

 

Its as simple as making a plan. Hit the gym, get new threads, write down some positive thoughts and pin it on your bedroom door, make some career goals, make some dating goals for the weekend, and just go make it happen.

[thatone]

i agree with dust. those men on here who have never approached a girl in public, got a phone number, turned it into a successful date and maybe even a relationship, they have no idea what fun that is.

 

it's the biggest ego boost in the world. that's what being a man is all about. seeing someone you want, and going and getting her.

 

there's no way i would trade that for having it 'easier'.

[ThaWholigan]

Dust is always right about it lol, we just need to have more fun with it instead of getting upset about being shut down. It's hard, but this is where jobaba's approach makes sense.

[jobaba]

i agree with dust. those men on here who have never approached a girl in public, got a phone number, turned it into a successful date and maybe even a relationship, they have no idea what fun that is.

 

it's the biggest ego boost in the world. that's what being a man is all about. seeing someone you want, and going and getting her.

 

there's no way i would trade that for having it 'easier'.

 

Totally agree.

 

Turn approach and rejection into an activity that is done so often it is devoid of emotion or even fun and exciting. I'm on my way to doing that.

[PlumPrincess]

I'd like to address one of Somedudes posts here.

 

... and say that in terms of being approached, being able to get dates and having options women overwhelmingly have it easier than men. This cannot be disputed. Why not? I'll put my own life up as an example.

 

Of the last two women I have dated ...

 

-The first one and I went to bars a lot. Tons. She got hit on a lot. Sometimes when I was sitting right next to her. By decent looking guys. Of all races. Other times, guys would sidle over just to talk to her in a friendly manner. She also had stories of guys approaching her on the street.

 

-The second one didn't have men approaching her in bars because she'd never been to bars ever. Not really at least. Not a drinker. Still, she had stories of men hitting on her on the street, people she met at work or school offering to buy her expensive things and take her on trips and random guys she met wanting to date or f@ck her.

How come you guys sound like whiny losers sometimes, but manage to have dates with women who according to your stories must be superstars? Or am I just a loser as well? I wouldn't consider myself unattractive, but I can't really claim that I have ever been able to attract men to this degree.

 

How many times did I get hit on (blatantly), offered sex, or offered a free donut and coffee during that period? Zero. Now I what you're all thinking. Jobaba, you're just the mack of the century and are able to pull decent looking women despite looking like the elephant man. Well, in response to that, I'll say I have a sister who everybody says looks just like me. She also has no problem getting dates and has been dating since high school.

 

Is there a point to this post? Yes, and I think it's a good one.

 

My bitter brothers ... accept the disparity in the dating world. You're not as inadequate as you think you are. It's just that every time you hit on a woman you think is in your reach, ten other guys just like you are doing it too. It is a competition, but eventually things will even out to one and one. And the way to turn things in your favor is by being more aggressive, taking your chances, stomaching rejection, and going through more numbers than the next guy.

 

Actually, I lied above. I did get hit on by a couple of gay guys during that period. That would possibly be the other route to an easier dating life.

You look like your sister and you get hit on by gays. Isn't that an interesting coincidence?

[Els]

I see cerri's requirements that she posted for a man she can be in a relationship with

I look for common values and similar worldviews.

I see if long-term goals are the same.

I determine if we'll be at odds about children, home, career, family, friends, and my need for space.

I'

m

honest with myself about other needs as well.

Namely, that he be extremely interesting, funny, sexy, warm, free from ghosts from relationships past, and is long-term partner and father material

.

 

Do you not feel you could satisfy most of her 'criteria'? I don't see anything about superficial stuff like 'must earn 100k/year' or 'must be 6'5"' in hers, as opposed to some of the 'perky boobs, great ass, nice hair, nice skin' stuff some men here spout. Her criteria sounds like traits any reasonably decent guy could have, except for the lack of differences part. I do find those a bit stringent.

 

My requirements is that a girl have common interests and hobbies be fun to be with and not be overweight. But people (men and women) are telling that I should actually drop the not overweight requirement becasuse it's too limiting. Really?

 

What happened to big breasts, no

LDR

, long hair, and a few other things I've seen you mention?

 

Really, this entire premise is amusing. Assuming that lesbian and gay couples are approximately equal in number, in parts of the world in which monogyny is rare (that includes most of you) - for every woman in an

R

, there is a man in an

R

as well.

So

how is it that it is soooooooooooo easy for women to be in compatible Rs and not for men? Or are you guys maybe, just maybe, hitting on the 20% of women that 90% of other men are as well, and not even seeing the rest? That woman in her mid-30s *cough, saw that right there*, that 'average-looking' girl in your class (who really doesn't look any worse than yourself)?

[verhrzn]

How come you guys sound like whiny losers sometimes, but manage to have dates with women who according to your stories must be superstars? Or am I just a loser as well? I wouldn't consider myself unattractive, but I can't really claim that I have ever been able to attract men to this degree.

 

It reinforces my theory that the majority of guys go for the minority of girls, because I have never been hit on or asked for my phone number, and last I checked, I do indeed have the lady parts. I have a few friends that brag about getting hit on a lot, but they're usually either 1) super hot 2) really, really, really out going 3) surrounded by geek guys who put them up on pedestals.

 

What really gets to me about these sorts of threads is it reinforces this idea that if you don't have swarms of guys begging for your attention daily/weekly, then not only are you unattractive, you are a failure of a woman. It frankly makes me want to approach guys even LESS, because obviously I'm an ugly monster and they're gonna reject me or else I'd be swimming in available men.

[eleanorhurting]

Agreed ^

Just because I get hit on, doesnt mean I have it easy. I want to be in a relationship, not be some booty call. 99.9% of the time, guys that hit on me at a bar or whistle out on the street only care about getting lucky, which is not going to happen; therefore I'm left in the same boat as you.

 

 

Agreed. Its quality not quantity. I am tired of getting hit on my men who are stringing alot several girls at the same time to see which one will fall. Or by men who want a booty call.

[jobaba]

How come you guys sound like whiny losers sometimes, but manage to have dates with women who according to your stories must be superstars? Or am I just a loser as well? I wouldn't consider myself unattractive, but I can't really claim that I have ever been able to attract men to this degree.

 

Not dates. Relationships.

 

Neither of them were what most men would consider super. Maybe you live in an unpopulated place. This was all in large cities. It also matters what you're wearing, what your hair is like and if you are large.

 

Most women who are not overweight will get hit on over the course of their lives in public. I've seen ALL of my female friends get hit on in public at one time or another. Some more than others (a lot more).

 

It reinforces my theory that the majority of guys go for the minority of girls, because I have never been hit on or asked for my phone number, and last I checked, I do indeed have the lady parts. I have a few friends that brag about getting hit on a lot, but they're usually either 1) super hot 2) really, really, really out going 3) surrounded by geek guys who put them up on pedestals.

 

What really gets to me about these sorts of threads is it reinforces this idea that if you don't have swarms of guys begging for your attention daily/weekly, then not only are you unattractive, you are a failure of a woman. It frankly makes me want to approach guys even LESS, because obviously I'm an ugly monster and they're gonna reject me or else I'd be swimming in available men.

 

The same advice as above. Plus, you ... if you went to bars I know you'd get hit on. I've seen pics of you and some guys LOVE little girls.

 

The more you are out and about in populated places like NYC, the more it happens.

 

Maybe you live in the burbs and drive to work and back and don't go to bars often. Then, it won't happen to you.

[Els]

Not dates. Relationships.

 

Neither of them were what most men would consider super. Maybe you live in an unpopulated place. This was all in large cities. It also matters what you're wearing, what your hair is like and if you are large.

 

Perhaps you might attract more girls, then, if you worked on your appearance similarly?

[jobaba]

Perhaps you might attract more girls, then, if you worked on your appearance similarly?

 

I do. I was the one who spent $500 dollars on clothes and exfoliates daily.

 

Remember?

[Els]

. But think of this we are toughter then women. When some one whines about it being to cold or hot... women! When some one gets creeped out or scared... women! When some one doesn't understand even the most basic of machines... women! Now I know there are a lot of somedudes out there too... but Somedude its time to claim your right as a man!

 

I'm not sure if you're being serious, but dude, if you are, that's terribly untrue. Back in the tropical country that I used to live in, the women walk around under the sun in waist-long hair and padded bras while the guys complain in their singlets and shorts. And would you like to have a computer assembly contest?

[Els]

I do. I was the one who spent $500 dollars on clothes and exfoliates daily.

 

Remember?

 

Usually, for men, the most worthwhile thing to do for your appearance is to work out for the muscle. Seriously, screw the exfoliating if you're a guy. You don't need it, and it won't help you much, so why bother? >.>

[jobaba]

Usually, for men, the most worthwhile thing to do for your appearance is to work out for the muscle. Seriously, screw the exfoliating if you're a guy. You don't need it, and it won't help you much, so why bother? >.>

 

I do work out for muscle.

 

I notice skin, acne, and large pores on women (though I don't care) so I can't imagine why women wouldn't notice it on a man.

[Cracker Jack]

Truthfully, I don't care if women have it "easier" than men. I'm a man, and all that matters to me is getting better with women in general. How they compare to men in dating really isn't something I need to be focused on at this point because it does nothing for me. More action, less theory fighting for me. I prefer it that way.

 

I also agree with the guys who mentioned the fun aspect of it. If you're not having fun approaching and talking to women, it's pretty pointless. People need to chill.

Edited January 17, 2012 by Cracker Jack

[Disenchantedly Yours]

For the last time, women are human beings with normal human experiences and do not have it all encompassingly easier then men. We might get approaced more then women approach you but that does NOT equate to having it easier. Perhaps really hot goregous women have it eaiser, but being a regular girl of regular looks, who often gets told how "cute" she is like some puppy dog, I do not have men left and right approaching me looking to date me. I have had men of all different heights and body types reject me. So please stop for once and for all with this bullsh*t excuse to act like women just have it so easy because you simply don't want to understand what many regular women go through in dating and life themselves.

[Els]

I do work out for muscle.

 

I notice skin, acne, and large pores on women (though I don't care) so I can't imagine why women wouldn't notice it on a man.

 

Hrm, I don't know, my bf has HUGE pores (really, he only ever uses bar soap, and occasionally my shower cremes if he runs out of bar soap) and I like them, I think a 'rougher' look on a man confers masculinity. Not for me the type of guy with perfect skin and perfectly styled hair. Other women will differ, though.

 

Other than muscles.. well. I think men are 'luckier' in the sense that a lot of their 'worth' (ugh, how I hate the term), even in a superficial sense, is tied to stuff other than appearance. How they talk and charm others, intelligence, gentlemanliness and their success in their career. This is good, IMO, because you need all of those to progress in life anyway, so why not focus on them, and let attraction come as a secondary side effect. As opposed to appearance, which is really good for little except attracting the opposite sex.

 

Truthfully, I don't care if women have it "easier" than men. I'm a man, and all that matters to me is getting better with women in general. How they compare to men in dating really isn't something I need to be focused on at this point because it does nothing for me. More action, less theory fighting for me. I prefer it that way.

 

I also agree with the guys who mentioned the fun aspect of it. If you're not having fun approaching and talking to women, it's pretty pointless. People need to chill.

 

So. True.

 

Being completely honest, every time I see a thread like this and delve into it, I need to take some time to recuperate before being able to have a nice time with my bf. It's just not possible to participate in a romantic relationship while in the gender-war frame of mind, even if it is temporary (ie just responding to a thread). Surely it must be worse if you are the one living the mindset, permanently.

 

Everyone has benefits and disadvantages, in any aspect. For every 'disadvantage' listed of being a man, I could probably list one of being a woman. But what would the point be? Blaming one's gender, race, country of birth, genetics, parents, name, etc isn't going to get one anywhere.

[PlumPrincess]

Not dates. Relationships.

 

Neither of them were what most men would consider super. Maybe you live in an unpopulated place. This was all in large cities. It also matters what you're wearing, what your hair is like and if you are large.

 

Most women who are not overweight will get hit on over the course of their lives in public. I've seen ALL of my female friends get hit on in public at one time or another. Some more than others (a lot more).

Ok, I just remembered when I was in the States, I did get hit on a couple of times, on the bus or in the street, and the guys were actually nice, regular guys, not the kind of weirdos like here. I never really perceive being hit on here as a compliment, in fact, it makes me question myself, because why did this weirdo choose to approach me? Even on the online dating site I was, I felt like a freak, because many guys who approach me were weird. The only guy I'm talking to right now is American.

[GoodOnPaper]

for every woman in an R, there is a man in an R as well. So how is it that it is soooooooooooo easy for women to be in compatible Rs and not for men?

 

You jumped past the most difficult part -- at least for the guys. Of course by the time you get to the relationship stage, there is a 1:1 ratio. But at the attraction/early dating stage it's about OPTIONS. Most women have a number of options at any given time, fewer guys do. The relationship-minded guy with zero or one option at a time has a daunting task trying to outshine the players.

[Oxy Moronovich]

For the last time, women are human beings with normal human experiences and do not have it all encompassingly easier then men. We might get approaced more then women approach you but that does NOT equate to having it easier. Perhaps really hot goregous women have it eaiser, but being a regular girl of regular looks, who often gets told how "cute" she is like some puppy dog, I do not have men left and right approaching me looking to date me. I have had men of all different heights and body types reject me. So please stop for once and for all with this bullsh*t excuse to act like women just have it so easy because you simply don't want to understand what many regular women go through in dating and life themselves.

The smartest post in this whole thread. The average woman does not have met approaching them on a regular basis. I've met many, many women who could count the number of men who approach them on a monthly basis on one hand.

 

A lot of dudes here admit they are lame with women. These are the dudes who perpetuate the myth women have it easier and meet way more men than women. This is a coping mechanism these guys use in order to deal with rejection.