runforafall Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 To cut a long story with lots of details short I’ll bullet the details -Conversed with a mid 20s chick on dating site and we agreed to meet a couple of weeks later when she returned to my country -Instant connection, got pretty drunk, played Q&A -She revealed she just moved to this city/country and didn’t really know anyone -She revealed she has never had much attention from guys despite easily being above attractive in the looks dept, has never had a proper bf and is a virgin (could potentially be true as she lived in bible belt America for the last 4 years) -She revealed she has major depression, but it’s under control and she’s on meds -Ended up back at mine fooling around, though she seemed inexperienced apart from being a great kisser and didn’t want to have sex or for me to touch her down below. Insane physical chemistry. No sleep at all for either of us. -She’s been pretty active on the dating site since -Met again for a date, again she ended up back at mine, more fooling around, she seemed a lot more comfortable and let me touch her, though was reluctant to touch me saying she didn’t want to do it wrong (she changed her mind after I assured her it was fine), and practically begged me for sex several times during the night (saying I didn’t have to worry about catching anything as she isn’t sleeping with anyone else), though I refused as I was sober this time and felt unsure about it. -Invited her out for dinner this week though she said she already had “plans” – and didn’t seem to want to elaborate. Seemed happy enough with the suggestion of the day after though. Also said she had been out with friends the previous Friday when I asked how her Friday was on the second date, even though she supposedly doesn’t know anyone here. -She always seems VERY coy and reserved about what she’s feeling/thinking about me and what we’re doing. Aside from agreeing our dates had been fun, she has kept cards very close to chest. I like this girl a lot, though I understand it’s too early for anything heavy emotions/commitment wise and that while we have had a GREAT connection, I don’t really know her. I just don’t want to be played as I’ve been burnt pretty bad in the past by one girl who I also had what seemed like an insane physical and mental connection with, and don’t want to be having sex with someone who could potentially be seeing other guys, or to be led on with what feels like a rare kind of initial connection only to be told in a month or two “lets just be friends” because I’m just one of a few guys she's seeing. Does this story seem a little odd to you? Specifically the virginity but liberal attitude towards sex with me bit. Or am I reading too much into things and making unfair comparisons with an episode from my past?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 OP, if you take the time to reread some of the things you've written, you will realize sometimes the best answers are staring you right in the face. The fact that you listed so many doubts about her are in essence, red flags.
Andy_K Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 When a girl is multi-dating, generally the first guy to sleep with her wins. You've just abdicated, and can expect to freefall down her priority list if you don't do something about it. Sometimes your doubts can turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Author runforafall Posted January 17, 2012 Author Posted January 17, 2012 OP, if you take the time to reread some of the things you've written, you will realize sometimes the best answers are staring you right in the face. The fact that you listed so many doubts about her are in essence, red flags. This is the reason I posted. I'm unsure whether they are genuine doubts with a solid basis or me just being paranoid. I was wondering how things looked from a neutral perspective. Do you think my doubts are founded in good reason? When a girl is multi-dating, generally the first guy to sleep with her wins. You've just abdicated, and can expect to freefall down her priority list if you don't do something about it. Sometimes your doubts can turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is this really true? I thought I was doing the right thing in pulling back as I didn't want her to regret doing stuff she only decided to do in the heat of the moment.
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