tripledubs Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 i feel like i overreact a little and have a negative view of smoking just cigarettes and drinking alcohol. this is most likely to the household i was raised in. a strict catholic one. my girlfriend recently tried smoking and i overreacted about it. now i feel like a douche for getting upset about it and i want to live my life with this girl. she drinks also. i go off to college next year. how can i lighten up and take alcohol and smoking less seriously? or should i stay uptight? i want to accept these things before i go to college and get a rude awakening. how can i do this? i want to be able to be comfortable with my girl and parties.
carhill Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 My leather jacket still smells like the smoke from my friend's house where I spent New Year's. I coughed for about two days. They both smoke. Honestly, and I grew up in the blue haze, I couldn't live like that. They're great people but I'd likely spend a lot more time with them if they didn't smoke. Make your choices and stick to them. Same with alcohol. Own your choices. A lot of people don't smoke, or drink. Put some ginger ale on the rocks at parties. Have a good time.
Ross MwcFan Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 (edited) It does seem like you need to lighten up, and you'll probably find that most people would share that opinion. If you don't it may actually show in your body language and how you come across, which will probably alienate you even more from most of the people at college. I say even more because it seems like you probably don't drink at all, and that will already alienate you from a lot of the other people there. But at the end of the day, it's up to you whether you lighten up or not. Edited January 16, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
Lauriebell82 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I would say that you need to ACCEPT that other people are going to smoke and drink. However, you do not have to associate with these people or engage in these actions (smoking, drinking) yourself. There are lots of college students who do not smoke and drink (despite popular belief). And about your girlfriend, can you ACCEPT that she is going to smoke and drink and be okay with it? If not, maybe this isn't the right relationship for you to be in. A relationship is about shared values and interests, if you don't have them it may be difficult to sustain. So in short, you should lighten up about the fact that people are going to smoke and drink. You cannot control what others do. But you can most definately control what you do (by not associating with them or doing the behavior yourself).
Ross MwcFan Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I can't really understand why other people drinking should bother him so much.
Author tripledubs Posted January 22, 2012 Author Posted January 22, 2012 i would have to say that it bothers me due to the things my girlfriend has gone through due to her drinking. alcohol blacks her out, and shes been taken advantage of more than once. also, she uses it to run away from her problems. its nasty combination, and scares me more than anything,
thehead Posted January 22, 2012 Posted January 22, 2012 i would have to say that it bothers me due to the things my girlfriend has gone through due to her drinking. alcohol blacks her out, and shes been taken advantage of more than once. also, she uses it to run away from her problems. its nasty combination, and scares me more than anything, This is a completely different thing now. Your girl drinks to escape and to the point of black outs. Thats more than just accepting smoking and drinking. I'm also assuming you mean she's been raped? Tell her what you've noticed.Tell her you're worried. Ask if she needs help or if she can cut back on her own. It's college so it doesnt seem realistic she'll forgo all drinking. If she keeps doing it, make the choice to live with it or not. I personally couldn't stand watching that.
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