RamiTia Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 I'm seeing a LOT of posts about women wanting to wait a REALLY long time for sex or even until marriage, so I was curious as to how long most people here wait. I feel pretty average. If I'm not emotionally attached to someone, I don't need to wait at all. But if I'm actually interested in someone, I generally like to wait at least three dates.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Imo, the only thing you need to do, is wait till it feels right. It doesn't mater if it's 1 week, 1 month, or 1 year.
ditzchic Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 If it's someone I have a romantic interest in it's usually 3-5 dates. If it's someone I'm really attracted to but see it going nowhere, it's whenever. But then it's basically a once and done type thing.
nothappyjan Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 At least a month, preferably more, but I find the guys I date don't expect sex early. Never have had a guy even take me on a date before the 7th or 8th date that involved being in a house together etc. Maybe its where I live or just the people I attract but having sex before at least the month part has never come up as an option from the guy or myself. I would only sleep with someone I knew I wanted to be in a long term relationship with. I don't see any appeal in sleeping with someone I don't have feelings for though.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I would say most women like to make you think it will take longer than it really will, just not to appear easy. But it doesn't take long at all, I'm not sure who these guys are that wait for 1 month or more...that just makes you look silly unless you're dating a virgin or someone extremely conservative.
ditzchic Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 But it doesn't take long at all, I'm not sure who these guys are that wait for 1 month or more...that just makes you look silly unless you're dating a virgin or someone extremely conservative. I kind of agree with this. If a guy waited over a month to at least really REALLY try for sex I would start to wonder what's the deal with him. It would make me think he is too shy to initiate or has a low sex drive. Neither of which is compatible with my style. Or that he is really inexperienced. Which isn't necessarily bad but at this point in the game (I'm 29), I would have to wonder why...
thatone Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 i'm gonna make a move on the second or third date, typically. but as stated in another thread, city people, non-religious, for the most part pretty comfortable and open sexually, etc.
carhill Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I generally wait until my penis gets erect and, at my age, that can take awhile
xxoo Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I feel pretty average. If I'm not emotionally attached to someone, I don't need to wait at all. But if I'm actually interested in someone, I generally like to wait at least three dates. If it's someone I have a romantic interest in it's usually 3-5 dates. If it's someone I'm really attracted to but see it going nowhere, it's whenever. But then it's basically a once and done type thing. I kind of get it....but doesn't it seem backward to have sex sooner when you don't really like the guy? I generally wait until my penis gets erect and, at my age, that can take awhile
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 3 dates max. I'm not the type of idiot who looks negatively at a woman because she gives me sex on the 1st date. If guys stopped judging women negatively for giving sex too easily then relationships would lose some of the strain.
ditzchic Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I kind of get it....but doesn't it seem backward to have sex sooner when you don't really like the guy? Seems that way. But it basically comes down to this. Sex with someone you aren't attached and have no potential to get attached to is harmless. As long as both adults are consentual, know each other's intentions and are playing it safe, it's just sex. It's just fulfilling a temporary need. I like to keep it to a once or twice and done type thing so everyone's feelings are protected. Sex with someone you are romantically interested in is much more risky. Emotionally. That's why I prefer to wait that out until I have a clearer picture of where things might go. Of course having sex with someone I care about would be the ideal all the time but that's just not always possible. And I'm human. I have needs. And I'm definitely not going to create fake feelings and attachment for someone I'm not all that sure about just because I want some sex. I'll sum it up with a quote from my mother: "Why buy the pig just because you want a little sausage." my mom's a great lady
angelaM Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 As long as it takes to develop a monogamous, committed relationship. Could be 3 weeks or 3 months but we absolutely have to be exclusive and on the same page about that. And I've never regretted waiting. The time before intimacy is special in its own way, and if the relationship grows over time, you will remember and treasure those days.
Buttercup84 Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 When it feels right , when I can't stop thinking about it God , it's been 8 months for me now .
betterdeal Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Mostly until I can get it out of my undies, but not always.
Scottdmw Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I think it makes sense to wait for a while. The fact is, human biology is such that there is a pretty strong likelihood of attachment if you have sex, even if you think it won't happen. Further, you don't really know a person after a couple of dates. People always put their best face forward. If you don't wait a reasonable length of time like a couple of months at least you don't have any idea who you are getting involved with. Seriously, I think this is the number one reason why we have so many bad relationships today. People have sex early on, get hormonally bonded, and then when they find out how bad the relationship is they don't want to leave/can't leave. This seems to happen all the time to women especially. Scott
Emilia Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Seriously, I think this is the number one reason why we have so many bad relationships today. People have sex early on, get hormonally bonded, and then when they find out how bad the relationship is they don't want to leave/can't leave. This seems to happen all the time to women especially. Scott Nowdays I seem to think it has more to do with their being really afraid of dating and just wanting to find someone and stick with him.
Thieves Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 But it doesn't take long at all, I'm not sure who these guys are that wait for 1 month or more...that just makes you look silly unless you're dating a virgin or someone extremely conservative. Hm... wow. Sad day and age when some people are looked at as 'silly' for waiting a month to be intimate with someone. I fear for the next generation of young women sometimes, I really do. It's either you're a 'pussy' for waiting that long as a man, or really conservative as a girl. So, as soon as she's not a virgin anymore, she should just throw all caution to the wind when it comes to sharing her sexuality? Really, it's a month. About 4 weeks, which is a good amount of time to get the gist of somebody without feeling like you're screwing a total stranger. Is it honestly that hard to wait? Nobody said that you had to sit nicely like asexual kindergarteners the whole time, hands-off 'no touching', no foreplay whatsoever. Some people do like to build up something called 'sexual tension', and feel some form of trust. As for how long until I have sex with a guy, I don't know. I don't literally set a date and wait until then. It depends on how attracted I am to the guy and vice versa, etc. So whenever it feels right for the both of us.
ThaWholigan Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I wouldn't mind waiting a month or two to be honest before having sex with a girl. If I really liked her and I was having fun playing with the sexual tension, the sex could end up being mind blowingly good (or it could be an anti-climax, but live n learn and all that!)
Andy_K Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 1-4 dates, which typically equates to 0-2 weeks. It's not that I wouldn't wait longer, but I've never needed to so far.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 Hm... wow. Sad day and age when some people are looked at as 'silly' for waiting a month to be intimate with someone. I fear for the next generation of young women sometimes, I really do. It's either you're a 'pussy' for waiting that long as a man, or really conservative as a girl. So, as soon as she's not a virgin anymore, she should just throw all caution to the wind when it comes to sharing her sexuality? Really, it's a month. About 4 weeks, which is a good amount of time to get the gist of somebody without feeling like you're screwing a total stranger. Is it honestly that hard to wait? Nobody said that you had to sit nicely like asexual kindergarteners the whole time, hands-off 'no touching', no foreplay whatsoever. Some people do like to build up something called 'sexual tension', and feel some form of trust. As for how long until I have sex with a guy, I don't know. I don't literally set a date and wait until then. It depends on how attracted I am to the guy and vice versa, etc. So whenever it feels right for the both of us. That's the point right there. A man will have sex with just about anything. A woman will have sex with a man IF she is attracted/interested in him, therefore If you have to wait a month or longer then the woman really isn't all that interested in you, so why waste each others time? If it just happens that way out of certain circumstances then obviously that doesn't necessarily apply, but it doesn't really take that many dates.
Scottdmw Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 That's the point right there. A man will have sex with just about anything. A woman will have sex with a man IF she is attracted/interested in him, therefore If you have to wait a month or longer then the woman really isn't all that interested in you, so why waste each others time? That's quite a generalization to apply to all women (or men either). Some people believe it's important to have some vague idea of a person’s character or behavior before they have sex. You can't do that quickly.
veggirl Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 I don't know, about 3 dates? I don't wait til I am "in love" with the guy because I don't fall "in love" as easily as it seems many of the gals on this board do (like in love after 2 mos, so now sex is okay, then you're single again in 6 mos).
Lonely Ronin Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 It kind of pisses me off, I'm more physical than most guys but that doesn't make me a mindless ape. That's quite a generalization to apply to all women (or men either). Some people believe it's important to have some vague idea of a person’s character or behavior before they have sex. You can't do that quickly.
Recommended Posts