Is it best for Average people to Date Average people and give up their dreams?

January 18, 2012

That and female hormones in the water supply diluting their testosterone.

Best explanation I've heard.

January 18, 2012

If Women take care of themselves and are not overweight..They actually fit the young, slim, beautiful. Most women do. And also being a nice person is what i want.

Most women who take care of themselves wil be like this so i'm not narrowing my pool... In fact it's the biggest pool.
In fact of 100% of women in my age range of dating, 80 percent fit what i want.

But
the only thiing that those in that pool are missing is being nice and accepting of men that are not rich or great talkers..

And al i'm asking from them is being healthy and good heart. Meanwhile those women would ask of me to be rich and a great talker.

From the pov of the slim, young, beautiful woman....the men with decent jobs and smooth talk are ALL pursuing them, why would they ever consider you?

Because you are "nice"? Your posts here don't sound nice. They sound like you only want women for their bodies, and don't see their value other than beauty. NOT nice. Yuck.

January 18, 2012

I want a Ferrari, and it's not fair.

January 18, 2012

Well im not 5'8 im 5'7 and a half and the average height is between 5'9 and 5'10

From all the sources I've read, 5'8" is considered average height for a man. 5'6" is considered average height for a woman. So you are basically average in height. 1/2" from average. I know a woman who arranged a date with a man on OLD who claimed to be 5'8". She normally prefers taller men, but she gave the guy a chance since he seemed like a nice guy. She's in the top 20% of women, so she can afford to be picky. When she got to the meeting place and found he was more like 5'6", she was unhappy that he lied, and uninterested because she was attracted to taller guys. Most women do care about height. That is a quality they desire in a man, just like most men desire women to be slender. Sorry, but that is a fact that can't be disputed.

January 18, 2012

I want a Ferrari, and it's not fair.

I want a vacation home in Italy.

I'm nice, andI'm thin! I should have one

January 18, 2012

From all the sources I've read, 5'8" is considered average height for a man. 5'6" is considered average height for a woman.

You haven't looked at many sources--you wouldn't find much support for that even from a simple Google search, and definitely not in any surveys done since 2000 from the Health and Human Services department of the US government.. 5' 4" is closer to the female average, and 5' 9.5" is closer to the male average. That's for America--other countries differ by 3-4 inches. Wikipedia has results from country-specific height surveys.

January 18, 2012

You haven't looked at many sources--you wouldn't find much support for that even from a simple Google search, and definitely not in any surveys done since 2000 from the Health and Human Services department of the US government.. 5' 4" is closer to the female average, and 5' 9.5" is closer to the male average. That's for America--other countries differ by 3-4 inches. Wikipedia has results from country-specific height surveys.

I have looked at a lot of sources over a period of time. Not on google, however. But we'll go with your figures if you wish. And my sources did not differentiate between countries, so that may explain the difference. Doesn't really change my point, however. Most women do desire taller men, or at least average-sized men. So maybe the answer for these guys in question whose only handicap in finding a woman is his height should consider seeking women whose country of origin had a shorter average height, if they don't want to change their standards in weight of women they will accept. Other countries also have a better percentage of women who are slim. Maybe that's the answer for those guys that don't want to compromise--mail order bride.

January 18, 2012

Here's an article on why women prefer taller men. If 5'9" is considered average in the U.S., then it should be no wonder why a guy who is 5'6" is at a disadvantage in the dating world.

[sIZE=+2][/sIZE]

[sIZE=2]Jan. 13, 2000[/sIZE]

[sIZE=+2]It's true: Women prefer the tall guys[/sIZE]

By Tim Friend, USA TODAY

[FONT=arial][sIZE=2]Does size matter?

Studies show that women favor taller men. Do you believe taller is better?[/sIZE][/FONT] Yes

No

[FONT=arial][sIZE=2]Latest results[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=arial][sIZE=2]Discussion: Do tall men have the upper hand?[/sIZE][/FONT]Female humans appear to be no different from any other species of animal when it comesto mate selection. Size - in this case height - counts.

That women prefer taller men is nothing new. Short guys, unless they're rich, powerful orfamous, have come by this knowledge the hard way. And women all over the world openlyprofess desires for height in personal ads.

The question is, why? Is it the actual inches that get the female flushing, or does heightrepresent something else, such as wealth or education?

Research in today's Nature by scientists in Poland and England suggests heightitself plays a key role in turning a female's head. (If you are a fish, depending on yourspecies, a particularly tall dorsal fin or a long tail might do the trick.)

Some experts, including James Gould of Princeton University, say there's good evidencethat the preference for height by female humans, and long dorsal fins or tails by fish, ishard-wired in the brain and translates to good health.

"When height is an indicator of health, this is not surprising, and if females areprogrammed to look for health, they would end up with taller males," Gould says."It's entirely plausible this is true."

The study's cold statistics show that taller men are more likely to have children thanshorter men and are more likely to be married. Conversely, childless bachelors aresignificantly shorter than married men, says Robin I. M. Dunbar of the University ofLiverpool.

The more successful breeders were 1.2 inches taller on average than childless men, andthose who were married were an inch taller on average than bachelors.

Dunbar and colleagues from the University of Wroclaw in Poland studied 3,200 men, rangingin age from their 20s to 50s, whose average height was 5 feet 6 inches. Because otherstudies suggest tall men have better education and are more likely to have family wealth(the silver-spoon variety, not earned by themselves), the team controlled for educationand still found that height races the pulse.

Mate selection, which is controlled by females in most species, has never been a kindprocess. The female, no matter what species, is basically interested in good genes and awell-provisioned nest. But within this female drive there is room for exceptions or truetrade-offs. Money and power can usually supplant height in female preferences the way rockbeats scissors. After all, Al Pacino is only 5-foot-7, and Henry Kissinger is 5-foot-9.

"Taller isn't always better," says Bobbi Low of the University of Michigan andauthor of Why Sex Matters. "The bottom line is, men want healthy young womenand women want healthy men with great resource potential."

More men's health stories

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[FONT=helvetica,arial][sIZE=4] [/sIZE][/FONT]

January 18, 2012

Now were back to the retarded belief that a short man has the same market value as an obese woman.

January 18, 2012

Now were back to the retarded belief that a short man has the same market value as an obese woman.

Well then obviously it's FACT!

January 18, 2012

Now were back to the retarded belief that a short man has the same market value as an obese woman.

Sorry, but that's what studies show--women prefer taller men. But you knew that. I'm not telling you something you don't already know. I'm trying to get you to understand why your strict requirements about weight are holding you back from finding a relationship. When the majority of women in this country are either obese or chubby, you are severely limiting your dating pool by excluding them, and that is why you haven't been able to find a relationship.

January 18, 2012

Sorry, but that's what studies show--women prefer taller men. But you knew that. I'm not telling you something you don't already know. I'm trying to get you to understand why your strict requirements about weight are holding you back from finding a relationship. When the majority of women in this country are either obese or chubby, you are severely limiting your dating pool by excluding them, and that is why you haven't been able to find a relationship.

I disagree that he should stick with the fatties and chubbies. He'll find someone, it's just a matter of time.

I think SD is a good looking guy who could use some help in the self esteem department.

Maybe because I'm 38 I should settle for the fatties, chubbies and husband rejects too? Because it's all I can get at "my age". Kinda saying the same thing IMO.

January 18, 2012

When the majority of women in this country are either obese or chubby, you are severely limiting your dating pool by excluding them, and that is why you haven't been able to find a relationship.

Dramatic oversimplification. His attitude and low confidence are more to blame than anything, which he also knows. He's admitted to a history of mild depression. You're not wrong in pointing out that he's shooting a bit high, but he's fine in doing that. Like he said earlier, he hasn't run out of things to try yet. Stop suggesting that he settle.

January 18, 2012

Sorry, but that's what studies show--women prefer taller men. But you knew that. I'm not telling you something you don't already know. I'm trying to get you to understand why your strict requirements about weight are holding you back from finding a relationship. When the majority of women in this country are either obese or chubby, you are severely limiting your dating pool by excluding them, and that is why you haven't been able to find a relationship.

It's just so disgusting to me because I see being obese as a choice. And conversely there is absolutely nothing I can do to change my height. If I could work out to get taller, I'd be 6'5.

It's incredibly frustrating that I am being limited by a factor I had no control over. I didn't choose to be short, nor did I get to choose whether or not I'm attracted to overweight women.

Dramatic oversimplification. His attitude and low confidence are more to blame than anything, which he also knows. He's admitted to a history of mild depression. You're not wrong in pointing out that he's shooting a bit high, but he's fine in doing that. Like he said earlier, he hasn't run out of things to try yet. Stop suggesting that he settle.

The depression is caused by my dating troubles.

Having a goal that I'm not able to accomplish because of factors that are out of my control.

That leads to depression and a feeling of hopelessness.

January 18, 2012

It's just so disgusting to me because I see being obese as a choice. And conversely there is absolutely nothing I can do to change my height. If I could work out to get taller, I'd be 6'5.

YES! Don't settle. But do try to give other women a chance. I'm not talking about someone who's 3 bills either...but a little chubby (20lbs or so) isn't a deal breaker dear.

January 18, 2012

I disagree that he should stick with the fatties and chubbies. He'll find someone, it's just a matter of time.

I think SD is a good looking guy who could use some help in the self esteem department.

Maybe because I'm 38 I should settle for the fatties, chubbies and husband rejects too? Because it's all I can get at "my age". Kinda saying the same thing IMO.

I'm not suggesting he stick to fatties and chubbies. I'm suggesting he consider adding that group, or at least the chubby group, to his dating pool if he wants to increase his chances of finding a relationship, since the percentage of women who fall into those two groups are so large. If he only sticks to the top 20% of females, he's at a serious disadvantage, not only because of his height, but because of the fewer volume of women in that group. I'm not saying he can't find what he wants, or that it won't happen. I'm saying he's putting himself at a huge disadvantage, and the odds are not with him that he will find someone that fulfills his current standards. I have suggested to him before that he consider pursuing women whose country of origin has a shorter average height among males. Right now, he is having no success. I'm just providing things to consider in order to break out of that cycle of failure, and challenging his thinking on why he thinks he needs to have such strict standards that go against the majority of the female population in this country. (And if you are 38, you are going to have to consider "husband rejects", since the majority of men in that age range who are available are divorced rather than single.)

January 18, 2012

Dramatic oversimplification. His attitude and low confidence are more to blame than anything, which he also knows. He's admitted to a history of mild depression. You're not wrong in pointing out that he's shooting a bit high, but he's fine in doing that. Like he said earlier, he hasn't run out of things to try yet. Stop suggesting that he settle.

If a person's unrealistic standards are holding them back from getting what they want--which is a relationship--then I'm going to challenge them on breaking out of the rigid standards that are holding them back. You guys are all saying that his attitude and low confidence are what is holding him back, well maybe he has a poor attitude and lack of confidence because of his failure in attracting a woman. It's pretty hard to have confidence and a good attitude when you continually get shot down when approaching women. He's free to not settle, but so far that hasn't gotten him what he wants.

January 18, 2012

If a person's unrealistic standards are holding them back from getting what they want--which is a relationship--then I'm going to challenge them on breaking out of the rigid standards that are holding them back. You guys are all saying that his attitude and low confidence are what is holding him back, well maybe he has a poor attitude and lack of confidence because of his failure in attracting a woman. It's pretty hard to have confidence and a good attitude when you continually get shot down when approaching women. He's free to not settle, but so far that hasn't gotten him what he wants.

Wanting a women whos not fat is having rigid standards?

lol hes not asking for a model

January 18, 2012

It's just so disgusting to me because I see being obese as a choice. And conversely there is absolutely nothing I can do to change my height. If I could work out to get taller, I'd be 6'5.

It's incredibly frustrating that I am being limited by a factor I had no control over. I didn't choose to be short, nor did I get to choose whether or not I'm attracted to overweight women.

The depression is caused by my dating troubles.

Having a goal that I'm not able to accomplish because of factors that are out of my control.

That leads to depression and a feeling of hopelessness.

You know, I sympathize with you. I know it seems unfair. There is nothing you can do about your height. I know a lot of men in your situation who get shot down and rejected because of height. I can certainly understand that you would be depressed about this, and feel hopeless, since you can't change this factor. And I understand your preference for slim women. No one is faulting you for a having a preference--at least I'm not. I'm just suggesting that you consider adding a greater portion of women to your dating pool to increase your odds of finding a relationship. That's all. I think if you were to consider women that are currently outside of your ideal standards, and consider other things beyond physical attributes as attractive in women, you could find happiness in such a relationship.

January 18, 2012

I'm not suggesting he stick to fatties and chubbies. I'm suggesting he consider adding that group, or at least the chubby group, to his dating pool if he wants to increase his chances of finding a relationship, since the percentage of women who fall into those two groups are so large. If he only sticks to the top 20% of females, he's at a serious disadvantage, not only because of his height, but because of the fewer volume of women in that group. I'm not saying he can't find what he wants, or that it won't happen. I'm saying he's putting himself at a huge disadvantage, and the odds are not with him that he will find someone that fulfills his current standards. I have suggested to him before that he consider pursuing women whose country of origin has a shorter average height among males. Right now, he is having no success. I'm just providing things to consider in order to break out of that cycle of failure, and challenging his thinking on why he thinks he needs to have such strict standards that go against the majority of the female population in this country. (And if you are 38, you are going to have to consider "husband rejects", since the majority of men in that age range who are available are divorced rather than single.)

I meant it as the obese and chubbs that no one wanted as a husband. IE: Husband rejects.

I agree with SD. No fatties for me. But a little overweight, I'd deal with if he lead a healthy lifestyle and was active.

Not divorced men...that's pretty standard these days. I'd say almost all my BFs since I was 30 have been divorced.

January 18, 2012

Wanting a women whos not fat is having rigid standards?

lol hes not asking for a model

If his standards are rejecting 80% of the female population (33% obese, 33% chubby, 10% unattractive for other reasons), that leaves 20% of women he is choosing from. By rigid standards, I mean being unwilling to deveate from a standard.

January 18, 2012

I meant it as the obese and chubbs that no one wanted as a husband. IE: Husband rejects.

I agree with SD. No fatties for me. But a little overweight, I'd deal with if he lead a healthy lifestyle and was active.

Not divorced men...that's pretty standard these days. I'd say almost all my BFs since I was 30 have been divorced.

So you would consider chubby men as an option then.

January 18, 2012

It's incredibly frustrating that I am being limited by a factor I had no control over. I didn't choose to be short, nor did I get to choose whether or not I'm attracted to overweight women.

The depression is caused by my dating troubles.

Having a goal that I'm not able to accomplish because of factors that are out of my control.

That leads to depression and a feeling of hopelessness.

There is SO much you can control:

Get a good job.

Get a bigger build.

Get really good at something that women admire (not video games).

Your biggest problem is you are WAY behind in the game. Your lack of ambition (30+, no girlfriend, still in school) is far more of a turn off than your height. Women expect a man your age to be more established. It isn't about wanting your money; it is about being attracted to drive and ability.

You are programmed to seek a good mate. That beautiful, slim, hourglass figure is innately attractive to you.

WE are programmed to seek a good mate. Strong and capable is innately attractive to US.

You have as much control over your success at age 30 as a woman has over her weight. Not total control by any means for either. We've all got obstacles and baggage that affect our life choices.

FTR, my H is only 1" taller than you. But he's 20-30# bigger, both muscle and fat. Yum.

January 18, 2012

So you would consider chubby men as an option then.

Depends on how chubby we're talking here.

20lbs overweight? ok.

More then that..NO WAY.

I work really hard to stay in shape and I need a partner who feels the same. If not thin, but at least in shape and athletic. It's such a big part of my life that if we're not seeing eye-to-eye on that it's a deal breaker.

I know many man who work out but are still a little chubby or have a bit of a belly. I'm ok with that. This is what I'm also telling SD to do.

But the sound of your posts was more towards letting the obese into his life as his only option and I just can't agree with that.

January 18, 2012

If his standards are rejecting 80% of the female population (33% obese, 33% chubby, 10% unattractive for other reasons), that leaves 20% of women he is choosing from. By rigid standards, I mean being unwilling to deveate from a standard.

Then perhaps some women should also lower their standards since only about 10% of men are 6 feet and over and maybe half of them are actually good looking also

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