Dating Rant: Why do certain women respond to your ad on a dating site and then

[PhillyDude]

Once we talk one on one on instant messenger or the phone they show no interest and ask you no questions about you? I'm asking all the damm questions which turns out to be a ONE-SIDED conversation.

 

This has happened with the last 3 girls i talked to and I had to hang up on all three of them. And being shy on the phone is NOT NORMAL.

[FitChick]

Upon further reflection, they don't like you.

[PhillyDude]

well that means they are slightly retarded then if they responded to me first and then have nothing to say during a one on one conversation.

 

I just told this one girl, so are you going to ask me any questions? her dumb a$$ says ok..,"How far do you go in school?

 

 

HUH? I'm done

[ditzchic]

They aren't interested basically. Are you one of those guys that just starts firing off questions endlessly? If often just start ignoring those guys. Conversation is better when it flows. Ask a question or two to get the flow going and see where it leads. If it stops, its not going anywhere. Continuing to ask what she does, where she grew up, what she does for fun etc just gets annoying.

[ditzchic]

well that means they are slightly retarded then if they responded to me first and then have nothing to say during a one on one conversation.

 

I just told this one girl, so are you going to ask me any questions? her dumb a$$ says ok..,"How far do you go in school?

 

 

HUH? I'm done

 

If you have to ask if they are interested in learning anything about you, they aren't.

[Emilia]

And being shy on the phone is NOT NORMAL.

 

You come across very stern and opinionated in your posts here. I think they don't find you nice enough.

[PhillyDude]

You come across very stern and opinionated in your posts here. I think they don't find you nice enough.

 

 

because i don'6t understand how a grown woman can be shy in her own home while talking on the phone.

[PhillyDude]

They aren't interested basically. Are you one of those guys that just starts firing off questions endlessly? If often just start ignoring those guys. Conversation is better when it flows. Ask a question or two to get the flow going and see where it leads. If it stops, its not going anywhere. Continuing to ask what she does, where she grew up, what she does for fun etc just gets annoying.

 

I don't lots of questions one after another because i like a convo to flow too. But i can't tolerate stupid questions like...."What is your highest level of education?

 

Who the hell askes that unless they have oatmeal in their head?

[ditzchic]

because i don'6t understand how a grown woman can be shy in her own home while talking on the phone.

 

Some people don't like talking on the phone to strangers. It can be awkward. Especially when the conversation isn't going anywhere. They'd rather be doing something else. Try texting them for awhile first. Then when you're less "strange" to each other go for the phone call.

[PhillyDude]

Some people don't like talking on the phone to strangers. It can be awkward. Especially when the conversation isn't going anywhere. They'd rather be doing something else. Try texting them for awhile first. Then when you're less "strange" to each other go for the phone call.

 

 

We were texting for a hour. So am i supposed to text for weeks now so I won't seem like a stranger?

[ditzchic]

We were texting for a hour. So am i supposed to text for weeks now so I won't seem like a stranger?

 

Days, weeks whatever it takes. The last guy I seriously dated I didn't talk to on the phone until I was on my way to his place for our first date to ask him where I should park.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I get where he's coming from. A lot of women don't have **** to say or talk about, they just really aren't that interesting of people or that great of a conversationalist.

 

Now with these kind of women you can either cut to the chase or try to engage in a deeper conversation as their too stupid to think of what to say.

 

Which for me I just drop em as I'm not usually that interested or find them that attractive anyway, usually they just liked my profile or pics but they don't know how to move on from there. Plus a lot of women are shy or insecure and you have to perform that peeling process which I'm not really interested in.

 

Therefore I usually talk to women who are already grown-up and able to hold a conversation and have a decent conversation. If I wanted to I could shoot straight for the panties and just use my moves to that direction but for me that's not interesting.

 

With you however I'd recommend to be careful to come on too strong, honestly I usually let women decide how fast they want to go, even though I know I could press it. I don't really care myself what kind of feedback they give as they're also just a stranger, so whatever they decided for whatever reason or they're incapable of talking online or holding a conversation then that's their problem.

 

I typically require someone with a much better than average personality, instead of just the typical mundane, or I become quickly bored. I'm not sure how people function in the world with their mating skills, surprised they can figure it out.

[PhillyDude]

I get where he's coming from. A lot of women don't have **** to say or talk about, they just really aren't that interesting of people or that great of a conversationalist.

 

Now with these kind of women you can either cut to the chase or try to engage in a deeper conversation as their too stupid to think of what to say.

 

Which for me I just drop em as I'm not usually that interested or find them that attractive anyway, usually they just liked my profile or pics but they don't know how to move on from there. Plus a lot of women are shy or insecure and you have to perform that peeling process which I'm not really interested in.

 

Therefore I usually talk to women who are already grown-up and able to hold a conversation and have a decent conversation. If I wanted to I could shoot straight for the panties and just use my moves to that direction but for me that's not interesting.

 

With you however I'd recommend to be careful to come on too strong, honestly I usually let women decide how fast they want to go, even though I know I could press it. I don't really care myself what kind of feedback they give as they're also just a stranger, so whatever they decided for whatever reason or they're incapable of talking online or holding a conversation then that's their problem.

 

I typically require someone with a much better than average personality, instead of just the typical mundane, or I become quickly bored. I'm not sure how people function in the world with their mating skills, surprised they can figure it out.

 

 

And I'm okay with the peeling procees during the first 15 mins and then after that i;m hanging up if i feel the conversation is not moving at a nice pace

[Cypress25]

How long do you expect these phone calls to last? Not everyone enjoys chatting on the phone with a stranger. It's awkward, you can't see their facial expressions or gestures, you can't tell when the other person is about to start speaking so you cut each other off, it's impossible to feel any chemistry over the phone so the whole thing feels stilted and artificial. And you want that to go on for more than 15 minutes? The girls probably get bored, so they don't ask questions because that would prolong the conversation.

 

When I did OLD, phone calls were not part of the process. We would exchange a few emails through the site and then we would meet in person. Talking on the phone before meeting in person is unnecessary and it adds an extra step, which slows down the whole process. You can't get an accurate feel for someone over the phone; your first conversation should be in person, face to face. I personally think it's a bad idea to give your phone number to someone you've never met anyway.

[colliejoanie]

First off.....I hope you didn't actually hang up on these women. You just made THEIR stories even worse than yours......."so I was talking to this guy for the first time.......he was all question man and suddenly he just HUNG UP!!!".

 

Second.....I totally empathize with you. Sometimes it's just not there.....sometimes you find yourself doing all the talking and questioning, and engaging......and that SUCKS!!! I honestly will never meet someone with whom the conversation isn't there.......

[FitChick]

it's impossible to feel any chemistry over the phone ...

Talking on the phone before meeting in person is unnecessary and it adds an extra step, which slows down the whole process. You can't get an accurate feel for someone over the phone;

 

That hasn't been my experience at all. People can spend hours crafting clever, witty emails but when you get them on the phone, you are talking to them in real time. I'd rather weed people out from the comfort of my home than fight traffic, hunt for parking, elbow my way to a crowded bar, only to know within five minutes of talking to a man that he is totally unsuitable.

[Cypress25]

I'd rather weed people out from the comfort of my home than fight traffic, hunt for parking, elbow my way to a crowded bar, only to know within five minutes of talking to a man that he is totally unsuitable.

 

If I tried to weed people out by talking to them on the phone, I'd end up weeding out a lot of great guys. I know a lot of people who are wonderful in person but really bad on the phone. I just think it's an unfair way to judge people and it can give you a false impression. Talking to someone on the phone, you can't even tell if they're smiling. Nonverbal communication is so important; when you have a conversation without it, you're missing half the exchange.

 

By the way, that sounds like a terrible environment for a first date. It might be more enjoyable if you go to a place that's quiet, laid-back, and not crowded. Maybe you could even sit at an actual table and face each other.

[thatone]

Days, weeks whatever it takes.

 

disagree.

 

just stop doing online dating.

 

why accommodate people who shouldn't be dating at all due to their social anxiety issues? all that'll do is make you more jaded with the idea of dating in general.

[Dust]

First off you're online dating and relying on it as this post about how emotionaly invested proves. Thats a big mistake and opens you up to becoming a ranter on here. It's called real world dating, if you wante to you could run into many more women in the real world then would ever agree to meet you for that first time meet up in online dating. Stop being scared.

 

Secondly women have been like this from the begining of time. You're just noticing this stuff now. Yes you have to carry the conversation. Yes most women will be shy. Yes you will be the one chasing them in the begining for the most part. No you don't have to be a chatty cathy and play 20 questions with them as that is a turn off for most women. Just be yourself and get to the point as in a date!

[PhillyDude]

How long do you expect these phone calls to last? Not everyone enjoys chatting on the phone with a stranger. It's awkward, you can't see their facial expressions or gestures, you can't tell when the other person is about to start speaking so you cut each other off, it's impossible to feel any chemistry over the phone so the whole thing feels stilted and artificial. And you want that to go on for more than 15 minutes? The girls probably get bored, so they don't ask questions because that would prolong the conversation.

 

When I did OLD, phone calls were not part of the process. We would exchange a few emails through the site and then we would meet in person. Talking on the phone before meeting in person is unnecessary and it adds an extra step, which slows down the whole process. You can't get an accurate feel for someone over the phone; your first conversation should be in person, face to face. I personally think it's a bad idea to give your phone number to someone you've never met anyway.

 

Everyone has their own style of meeting. Me, I like to sample the personality over the phone before I waste my time going out in public. And why is ok for a woman to give her number to a guy she doesn't know in a BAR but not from a ONLINE DATING SITE???

[PhillyDude]

That hasn't been my experience at all. People can spend hours crafting clever, witty emails but when you get them on the phone, you are talking to them in real time. I'd rather weed people out from the comfort of my home than fight traffic, hunt for parking, elbow my way to a crowded bar, only to know within five minutes of talking to a man that he is totally unsuitable.

 

Thank you, lol Who the hell goes and meet someone for the first time ever in life from just email conversation?

[Casablanca]

I've responded and have lost interest, heck I've instigated and lost interest soon after emailing them.

 

I've actually decided to skip talking on the phone and just meeting up at a coffee shop or something...I have found talking on the phone with someone I've never met a big awkward.

[Cypress25]

And why is ok for a woman to give her number to a guy she doesn't know in a BAR but not from a ONLINE DATING SITE???

 

My rule is, I need to meet the guy in person before I give out my contact info. I won't give my number to a drunk guy in a bar though. I might give my number to a guy in a bar if he's sober and if we've chatted for awhile (more than a few minutes) by the time he asks for it. I think that's enough to give me a feel for his personality and whether I can trust him.

 

Besides, the guy in the bar has no other way of contacting me, so if I want to see him again, I'll have to give him my phone number. But with OLD, the guy doesn't need my phone number before we meet. He can contact me through the site.

 

Who the hell goes and meet someone for the first time ever in life from just email conversation?

 

A lot of people. I'm not the only one who doesn't give my phone number to people I've never met.

[Casablanca]

A lot of people. I'm not the only one who doesn't give my phone number to people I've never met.

I've met a couple women like this online...don't blame them

 

Plus like I said, phone conversations can be awkward. Conversations flow much better online

[Oxy Moronovich]

Everyone has their own style of meeting. Me, I like to sample the personality over the phone before I waste my time going out in public. And why is ok for a woman to give her number to a guy she doesn't know in a BAR but not from a ONLINE DATING SITE???

Interesting thread. I've had similar problems. I've gotten a woman's number only to find out she's a bore on the phone.

 

Many women I've met lack social skills when talking to strangers. This includes people in jobs where talking to strangers is necessary, like customer service.

 

The problem lies in how these women construct their daily lives: spending most of their free time shut in the house; too bookish; socially conservative; spending too much time on the internet (myspace, twitter, facebook, etc.); unwilling to step out of their comfort zone; being too emotionally attached to family and too suspicious of strangers; and generally having a pessimistic outlook on life.

 

It does suck to meet women who lack conversation skills. Before getting into a LTR, a guy should make sure his woman has good conversation/social skills.