razz90 Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 So on Friday I went to a bar to have a few drinks with one of my girlfriends and a German guy who had been in town a couple of months (and this was his last few days). Since me and my friend both speak German we just met up with him to practice. After a few hours in the bar the guy thought it was too early to call it a night and suggested going to a club or watching a German movie or something..i suggested watching one at my place as I had one on my computer (and i had a free house). Well, my friend declined the offer as she was ill and wanted to go home early...so me and german guy went to my place, watched the movie and he ended up kissing me. We didn't have sex but had a really good night. Before we went to bed he asked when I'm in Germany again (as I had told him i wanted to go to Berlin around march) and he said he was thinking of going to berlin too and we should meet up there.. So anyway, the next day he left and we were supposed to meet each other in the evening with his friends (at a club) but he got ill so we couldnt see each other. We were talking online and he said it was a shame we couldnt see each other again before he left, and described me as a girl he "really likes". Anyway so that's the background. Since he's left I've really been missing him and thinking about him. I have no idea how he feels about me. I know he wants to see me again, and he said 'thanks for a great night' quite a few times. Part of me wants to go visit his town in Germany, if we can't meet up in Berlin. I don't know if this is just the aftereffects of having an amazing night then life going back to normal (the sad weird feeling that i have) or if i genuinely have fallen for him! Part of me wants to tell him I miss him, but part of me thinks this is nothing for him, and he won't feel the same.. Hmm, so basically what do y'all think? Forget about him and move on, or invest a bit of energy in this in case we can have a LDR?
HeavenOrHell Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Where do you live? Near enough to be able to see him enough to make a go of things? If not, do you want a r/ship where you only see each other every few months? Maybe talk some more and suss out bit by bit if you want to take things further. Just don't go into an LDR lightly, most people will tell you they won't work out unless you have an end in sight, but you can't talk to him about that as you're not a couple, yet! Get to know him more and it will become clear the best way to go. I personally would not have an LDR again unless I could see my partner at least once a month for several days each time and we had an end in sight. I see my partner every 6 or 7 weeks, any less than that and I couldn't do it, I struggle with it as it is, and we have no end in sight either. LDR's can be lonely, frustrating, and pretty depressing at times. Other than that, they're great So on Friday I went to a bar to have a few drinks with one of my girlfriends and a German guy who had been in town a couple of months (and this was his last few days). Since me and my friend both speak German we just met up with him to practice. After a few hours in the bar the guy thought it was too early to call it a night and suggested going to a club or watching a German movie or something..i suggested watching one at my place as I had one on my computer (and i had a free house). Well, my friend declined the offer as she was ill and wanted to go home early...so me and german guy went to my place, watched the movie and he ended up kissing me. We didn't have sex but had a really good night. Before we went to bed he asked when I'm in Germany again (as I had told him i wanted to go to Berlin around march) and he said he was thinking of going to berlin too and we should meet up there.. So anyway, the next day he left and we were supposed to meet each other in the evening with his friends (at a club) but he got ill so we couldnt see each other. We were talking online and he said it was a shame we couldnt see each other again before he left, and described me as a girl he "really likes". Anyway so that's the background. Since he's left I've really been missing him and thinking about him. I have no idea how he feels about me. I know he wants to see me again, and he said 'thanks for a great night' quite a few times. Part of me wants to go visit his town in Germany, if we can't meet up in Berlin. I don't know if this is just the aftereffects of having an amazing night then life going back to normal (the sad weird feeling that i have) or if i genuinely have fallen for him! Part of me wants to tell him I miss him, but part of me thinks this is nothing for him, and he won't feel the same.. Hmm, so basically what do y'all think? Forget about him and move on, or invest a bit of energy in this in case we can have a LDR?
folieadeux Posted January 16, 2012 Posted January 16, 2012 (edited) I think it's too early to tell...keep the lines of communication open and you'll eventually be able to get a better handle on how the pair of you truly feel. This could all be coming down from the high of a great night...or it could be something more...both instances are very plausible, but you need to give it more time to tell for sure. I totally agree with HOH; don't take entering into an LDR lightly. It may seem exciting now, but trust me they're not for the faint of heart. They take an enormous amount of time, money, energy and dedication (just to name a few) and if you both discover that you don't have what it takes to make it work then I honestly wouldn't even bother. LDRs aren't for everyone and you'd just be setting yourself up for more heartache down the road. My SO and I live in the same country, are in our late twenties with stable careers, yet still have had difficulties making the distance work. We'll be getting married at the end of the year, but it hasn't always been an easy journey. It's crucial if you do decide to do this that you also have an end date in sight because you can't go the distance forever. I wish you both the best! Edited January 16, 2012 by folieadeux
Author razz90 Posted January 17, 2012 Author Posted January 17, 2012 thanks for the responses! you are both right, I think i was getting a little ahead of myself! We live in different countries (im in england) so yeah it would be expensive plus I'm stuck here for another 3 years at least so I don't think a LDR would be a good idea for me. I'll be in touch with him, try to see him in berlin, enjoy his company and leave it at that!
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