PoppyLove89 Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Does the length of time you've done it for count from the last time you contacted your ex via text message/email/phone call or when you last saw them as well? Like, I last saw my ex on my birthday while we were on a night out and we saw each other there, said 'hi' etc...does this mean my NC count started again on Boxing Day? Last Texted: 16th November. Saw Each Other Physically: 10th/24th/26th December (all coincidental on nights out) Where does my NC count from?
Cmac Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Who cares? You all seem to put so much emphasis on NC. As long as seeing him at the night out didn't set you back what difference does it make really? There's no set time limit for going NC, keeping count of the days is meaningless.
smudge21 Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 As Cmac said, if it didn't set you back then don't worry about these moments of seeing them. I mean, if you live close by that it's going to happen then there's nothing you can do about it. It generally comes down to how you reacted when you saw him. NC is a guideline, not a rule and it's not an exact science by any means. You just do it when and where you can. If you find yourself going out of your way to find out info, then I'd say you're not NC. But if you're just seeing an ex by accident, then don't worry about that and stay to NC and healing.
betterdeal Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Do you feel (overly) connected to your ex? If so, NC is a technique to help you lose that (unhealthy) connection. Some can disconnect over a matter of days. You let someone in, things go wrong, you show them the door. They could live in the same house as you and you wouldn't bat an eyelid, because your heart, your soul, are yours and you only share them with people you deem worthy enough. If you feel alright (maybe a bit awkward but not a sky falling in feeling) when you bump into them, then what's the problem? Think of how you feel today. Think of how you want to feel today. Then think of how you can move towards feeling how you want to feel today. That's all we can do.
Author PoppyLove89 Posted January 15, 2012 Author Posted January 15, 2012 Yeah I'm doing NC because I want to heal and move on, don't worry! Seeing him did set me back though which annoys me because I was just getting to the point where I was starting to accept things a little (of course I still love and missed him but I wasn't thinking about him 24/7). Now though I seem to be back to square 2 (not square one since I'm not shaky/restless/unable to eat haha) but I'm thinking about him all the time, I've started crying again and missing him like crazy! Not good.
Philosoraptor Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 It matters not how long it has been since you have spoken with your ex but how much progress you are making. NC is but a tool used to help keep focus on that progress.
PegNosePete Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 There are no prizes for length of NC time. It doesn't matter. You can count it however you like. When you stop counting, that is how you know it is really working. The race is long, and in the end it's only with yourself.
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