Veryconfused12345 Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Hi there, I was starting to move on. After 3 months of feeling completely devastated I had finally cut all contact with my ex. I've been upset but at least it's no longer this overwhelming sense of panic-I'm even beginning to forget some of the details of him and he's becoming more vague and fuzzy with every day that passes. For anyone doubting what no contact does, please take my word for it as someone who kept on coming back-it helps SO much. But only recently he's been back trying to get back in contact with me. He's writing long emails that basically say I was the love of his life and he's absolutely devastated but not really doing anything about it. Despite having him cheat on me I came back once and he rejected me. It's almost like it doesn't matter whether I'm there or not, he's enjoying feeling sorry for himself and pining. Any words of encouragement/support would be very much appreciated right now as I feel myself slipping and wanting to get back in contact with him. It really hurts to see him pining after me but I can't figure out why I continue to be rebuffed. I appreciate he's going through depression and his head isn't in the right place but please, tell me how to let him go for good. I'm trying to move on and go on other dates but I'm so worried this guy will always have a bit of a hold over me. Good times... Thanks so much
g450 Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Yeah those old feeling do tend to linger dont they? But they will eventually go away completely or at least down to the point where they dont matter. And once that happens you will see once again that there are other fish in the sea who would treat you better than he ever did and who would respect you like he never did or ever will. Just food for though. It takes time. Whenever you get those feelings and feel weak, think of the worst things he has done to you and that will snap you back to the reality of it all. Stay NC!
betterdeal Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Look into emotional detachment. It sounds like your nurturing side is being activated by his misfortune, and that's creating a conflict inside you between your desire to be treated humanely yourself and your desire to help him. I don't think you actually want him back; you're just a nice person. Being able to emotionally detach from his problems will help you stay on course. Like you said, your fear and worry subsided when you ended contact, and now it's started to rise again. Now that's not what a relationship is for, is it? It's supposed to make you feel good, isn't it? He choose his path when he decided to hurt you. Let him walk it and you walk yours.
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