misssmartypants Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 A while back I posted about breaking up with my boyfriend. To recapp, he and I were involved on and off for almost two years with the past six months being very exclusive and intense. His rejection of me, of any possible future, of even attempting to see where things might lead if we continued to see each other still stings. I know its probably for the best, better now than later for sure. My good friend knew I was single and told me she has a friend who is single and looking. I figured it wouldn't hurt to at least let the guy be a facebook friend and see what was there. So, he's basically a text fiend. I don't mind the occasional facebook chat with someone. And I don't mind texting hello or whatever during the day. But this guy will send like three texts within 15 minutes during work hours. Things like "hey beautiful:, "How are you?" "I'm thinking about you". To me, its excessive. We haven't met in person yet. Partially because he (of course) is broke and waiting for payday to take me out (that part I like). And partially because, just having gotten out of a very intense romance, I don't want to rush into another one. Also, I have primary custody of my kids, they visit their dad every other weekend, and I just don't go on dates on weekends my kids are home, especially with "new" guys. So I know this is a lot of information to sort through, but I guess I want second opinions on the whole situation. I haven't told him he texts too much, I just ignore texts that come in during work hours or that I can't really answer ("I really like U" being an example). I haven't ruled out meeting him in a couple of weeks and seeing if there is enough chemistry in person to pursue any thing. I am not in a hurry to be in a romance, and I'm afraid that I won't be fair to him. But I'm also trying to be pragmatic (like pragmatism and love ever go together). I'm 30, I have three kids, and I do want to be married. He knows I have kids and is ok with the fact, at least at this point. . . See, I'm literally chasing myself in circles with this. So . . . Loveshack . . . What do you think?
ditzchic Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Hey might be a little mix of all three. Or maybe he is just really into you and since you haven't said anything about it just assumes what he's doing isn't bothering you. People can be really bad at picking up hints when they are crushing. I would tell him to lay off the texts a bit while you're at work. Tell him it's against company policy or something and that you will try and text occasionally but if your phone keeps buzzing all over the place people will notice and you may get **** for it. See how he reacts after you set the boundary. If he doesn't calm it down then you know it's not about you, it's about his own, probably crazy, needs.
carhill Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 What do you think? When the text fiend happens to text you at a convenient moment, reply 'call me'. Do not entertain further contact with him until he does.
Orianne Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 You could save yourself a lot of anxiety if you just be honest with him--tell him he texts too much, and then tell him you're interested in getting to know him, and willing to go on dates, but aren't in a hurry to start a new relationship because you just got out of one. If he can't respect you in this way, then he probably isn't boyfriend material anyways.
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