Editbee Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 (edited) Has anyone ever heard of this before because I haven't. What can be made from this? My female friend and her fiance have been together for 4 years in total (3 yrs as bf & gf and 1 year engaged). She looked very concerned since November when seeing me and I asked her what's wrong. It turns out her fiance has suggested her to screw another guy but told her it was ok if she didn't wanted to. However, my friend is very disgusted by this suggestion and is now thinking he doesn't love her as much as he claims. She is at lost and really doesn't want to do it. Honestly why would a man want to see his fiancee with another guy? If a bf or fiance told me that, I would think he's a creep. I would then get rid of him. Do you think she should break off the engagement? Also what type of man does that??? Edited January 15, 2012 by Editbee
carhill Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 It's a sexual kink. He likes to watch. If he respects her boundary of 'no' to that request, then they have potential. If not, hmm... I wouldn't let the future of an engagement turn upon one request. If she were to ask my advice, I'd tell her that and suggest some PMC to clarify it. It's possible that they are sexually incompatible but that's unknown from the brief information shared.
Author Editbee Posted January 15, 2012 Author Posted January 15, 2012 It's a sexual kink. He likes to watch.This is quite interesting because I have never in my life (until she told me) heard of a man watching to share his girl. Most men by nature are visual and would freak out or get territorial. It's cool to have at least a bit of jealousy since it makes the woman feel protected. If I had a man like that, I would think there is something wrong in the relationship or feel unloved.
carhill Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 I'll over-simplify. A man who likes to 'watch' can more clearly 'see' his partner when he is not up close and personal with her and he can see how she responds and interacts, not unlike watching actors in a porn flick. It's a different perspective and purely sexual. That's one potential with this guy. No way of knowing what is going on in his head unless he shares it.
whichwayisup Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 So, either he's a closet gay, or he's into 3-somes, watching his fiancee and soon to be wife get off, or wants to participate.. Or, he wants to/already has slept with another woman and this is his way of evening the score .. she can sleep with another man. Something is off here and your friend needs to talk to her fiance about this. And, put the wedding on hold indefinetely!
Author Editbee Posted January 15, 2012 Author Posted January 15, 2012 Something is off here and your friend needs to talk to her fiance about this. And, put the wedding on hold indefinetely!I agree as this is not the way a normal, engaged man in love thinks. When a man is in love, he would never his girl to do that. I feel sad for my friend. It makes me wonder how much does he actually loves her. I would get very suspicious if a man shows no jealousy at all than if he were jealous. At least in the later, he cares and has boundaries established.
FitChick Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Well, look on the bright side. At least he didn't ask her to sleep with another woman.
Citizen Erased Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 I bet he's only brought this up because he wants to give her a freebie so she will give him one. Regardless I hope that she doesn't marry him, clearly they have very different boundaries if he wants this and she is disgusted by it.
Author Editbee Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 I bet he's only brought this up because he wants to give her a freebie so she will give him one. Regardless I hope that she doesn't marry him, clearly they have very different boundaries if he wants this and she is disgusted by it.Update: she broke up last week. It turns out he wanted to urge her into an open relationship and do the same thing with another woman. So no she will not be marrying him.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Update: she broke up last week. It turns out he wanted to urge her into an open relationship and do the same thing with another woman. So no she will not be marrying him. Good for her!
whichwayisup Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Update: she broke up last week. It turns out he wanted to urge her into an open relationship and do the same thing with another woman. So no she will not be marrying him. I figured that's what it was. Him wanting to be with another woman, or just 'other' women.
Feliciti Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Despite the fact that I would probably reacting in much the same way as your friend did... Thinking about it as open-minded as possible, reflecting a bit on my own situation somewhat, asking a question seems completely innocent. I'm in a pinch, mainly because I desperately want my boyfriend to tell me everything he wants, so in a way, I'd actually prefer if he told me whatever desires he had, no matter how sick and twisted. It would mean he trusts me enough to tell me, wanting to be honest. And regardless of how weird and creepy a request he had, he had the honesty to tell her. That certainly counts for something - Imagine if he hadn't told her about that sort of desire until after they got married, or even had kids. If nothing else, he deserves respect for being true to himself, and allowing her a fair chance to get out before things got too involved.
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