binny Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I'm a bit upset, need to rant and need a bit of advise.. In October I found out about a ski trip which was being planned by some people from my work for a weekend nearby and asked a friend if he wanted to come (he had been nagging me for a while about planning a holiday). He said yes so I booked us a place on the trip. So in November he started hinting that he didn't want to go.. For example he would say things when I asked him politely to pay the money he owed me for the trip he would reply with "can I give it to you later, am skint at the mo." In the first week of Jan he asked when he should travel (we live in different cities) and I said I don't know what time we are leaving but gave him the safest option and asked if he wanted me to ask the organiser for exact times. He replied with "no it's ok, I'll just come for longer as I have a couple of friends that I wouldn't mind seeing while I'm there" so I said that's fine. Then a week later he sent me a text asking "what time are we leaving and what time will we be back" and I said "i dont know, you told me not to bother asking" he then turned it into a huge argument saying that he had told me to ask (when he hadn't) and started saying things like "if you are going to be like that then then I don't want to go" and "i dont know if i want to go now" etc.. Obviously I was really annoyed because I had already paid for the trip and felt like he was messing me around because he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I even asked him to remind me when I was at work to ask the organiser about times in case I forgot and he replied saying "remind yourself" which again annoyed me because I was asking for him. I kept saying if you don't want to go at least tell me so I can try and fill the spot so that I don't lose the money that I have already paid. But still, he kept messing me around saying "i don't know... etc" In the mean time, I found out all the times etc that he requested and let him know (without him reminding me), but again he still was avoiding booking his travel to come. It got to a point where I thought to myself I don't want to go with him anymore and a couple of days ago I asked one of my other friends if she wanted to come instead and she said yes. When I told him I had found someone to take his place on the ski trip he said "oh that's perfect, can't afford to go skiing at the mo as just dont have the money". Then yesterday, he posted on facebook that he had booked a trip to Vegas! WTF! I just felt so upset that he said to me "I don't have the money to go skiing for a weekend" and yet he has the money to book a trip to Vegas which is at least 5 times more expensive than the ski trip. If he didn't want to go, why wouldn't he just say he didn't want to go? Is it worth trying to remain friends with someone who is going to treat me this way? I guess I just feel that he uses me when he doesn't have anyone else to talk to or do things with. Is it worth confronting him about it or am I better off just ignoring him and phasing him out of my life?
GG3 Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I have had friends like this before. I think you will be happier to phase him out of your life and do not be friends with him anymore. Focus on people that do not "use you when they have no one else to do things with." I was a lot happier when I cut out people like that.
akazid Posted January 17, 2012 Posted January 17, 2012 I have had friends like this before. I think you will be happier to phase him out of your life and do not be friends with him anymore. Focus on people that do not "use you when they have no one else to do things with." I was a lot happier when I cut out people like that. This x100. I have a friend I used to email/meet up with about 2 years back. 2 years ago it was a mutual exchange where either of us would initiate the contact / respond within a reasonable amount of time. Right now getting a response from the person requires eating a pound of salt (Forget about getting them to initiate contact ... ). It leaves a sour and horrible taste in the mouth, throughout the whole process. If this continues I'll be dropping contact with this person. What's the difference? Initially this person knew no one, was alone, and was bored. Now the person knows more people and has a busier schedule, etc. That's still not an excuse though for the effort it requires to get a response. In other words a silent bye bye may be in order. Very annoying.
Author binny Posted January 27, 2012 Author Posted January 27, 2012 Thanks for the replies! I haven't had much time to come online recently hence the late reply.... How do you cut people like this out of your life? I haven't call or texted him unless it was regarding the ski trip to confirm that my friend was going to go instead of him etc.. I've been avoiding commenting on his facebook status too.. but today he gave me a call, basically he has been seeing some girl recently and they kinda broke it off and he needed "someone to talk to"... We have a lot of mutual friends so I don't want to cut him out completely like deleting him from fb etc, I just want to significantly reduce contact.. Any ideas on how to do this?
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