vanek26 Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I have read a lot of books on the "pick up artist" mentality and put it to the test plenty. I've done it online, at work, in random public places, and of course at the bar/club scene. The problem with this approach is that you will fail the vast majority of the time. And when you do fail, you come off as a huge creep. I want to meet women, but I also want to have some dignity... It seems like we give women too much credit when trying to figure them out. The simplest answer, in this case, is probably the best one. Women are turned on by physically attractive men. There's no need to analyze things past that. I work in a retail and see countless couples every single day. And physically, they almost always make sense. Every so often, you will see a beauty with a beast, but those moments are few and far between. When I see a cute thin girl with her bleached blonde hair and yoga pants, there is sure to be a muscular guy close by. So my question to myself and everyone else is, why do we obsess over finding a way to seduce these women into falling for us, when the answer is painfully obvious? In order to get the women I want, I need to simply increase my physical attractiveness. The tricky part is finding a way to do that. Personally, I'm a pretty thin and frail guy. I'm 5'9 and only weigh about 145 lbs. I think that this is a universal turnoff to women, as they desire someone who looks physically fit. I've started a heavy workout regimen as well as a plan to increase the amount of food I eat. I've also invested in new clothes, a nice watch, and have started going tanning. The tanning part is tricky because no woman will admit that she wants a guy who goes tanning... but I feel that being tan will make me more attractive so I feel it's worth it. I'll let you guys know how it works.
NYC-BigKat Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I have read a lot of books on the "pick up artist" mentality and put it to the test plenty. I've done it online, at work, in random public places, and of course at the bar/club scene. The problem with this approach is that you will fail the vast majority of the time. And when you do fail, you come off as a huge creep. I want to meet women, but I also want to have some dignity... It seems like we give women too much credit when trying to figure them out. The simplest answer, in this case, is probably the best one. Women are turned on by physically attractive men. There's no need to analyze things past that. I work in a retail and see countless couples every single day. And physically, they almost always make sense. Every so often, you will see a beauty with a beast, but those moments are few and far between. When I see a cute thin girl with her bleached blonde hair and yoga pants, there is sure to be a muscular guy close by. So my question to myself and everyone else is, why do we obsess over finding a way to seduce these women into falling for us, when the answer is painfully obvious? In order to get the women I want, I need to simply increase my physical attractiveness. The tricky part is finding a way to do that. Personally, I'm a pretty thin and frail guy. I'm 5'9 and only weigh about 145 lbs. I think that this is a universal turnoff to women, as they desire someone who looks physically fit. I've started a heavy workout regimen as well as a plan to increase the amount of food I eat. I've also invested in new clothes, a nice watch, and have started going tanning. The tanning part is tricky because no woman will admit that she wants a guy who goes tanning... but I feel that being tan will make me more attractive so I feel it's worth it. I'll let you guys know how it works. I think the level of attraction is different for guys than girls. Take my jerk uncle for ex. He's a so-so looking guy but does great with women b'cause he knows how to hit on them, keep them interested, & he dont care how they react to him. I care too much so I think thats my prob.
dasein Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Seduction is something you learn in addition to looking your best. It makes a huge difference in a man's feeling of control of his sex life and his life generally. One can be a good looking guy running around like a sappy puppy dog or one can be a good looking guy in control.
Feelsgoodman Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) The tricky part is finding a way to do that. Personally, I'm a pretty thin and frail guy. I'm 5'9 and only weigh about 145 lbs. I think that this is a universal turnoff to women, as they desire someone who looks physically fit. I've started a heavy workout regimen as well as a plan to increase the amount of food I eat. I'm 6'2 and was 170 lbs before I started working out in my early 20s. I'm about 185-190 lbs now, which I think is a perfect weight for my height. I'm not a super muscular guy, I look more like a swimmer or tennis player. You don't need to have huge biceps to be attractive to women...you just need to look healthy and in shape. As for tanning, that's just a recipe for ruining your skin and potentially getting cancer. Not worth it IMO. Edited January 14, 2012 by Feelsgoodman
Els Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Well, if you want to go the PUA route, muscles, a tan, and new clothes will certainly help. OTOH, men who go the PUA route are only shortchanging themselves IMO.
ThaWholigan Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 For the PUA thing to work, it's not just what you say, it's how you say it. Vocal tonality is important, as well as how you can pace your words. This is important even if you are not aiming to do the PUA thing. There is an instructor in London called Vercetti, and he specializes in voice and body language. Getting in shape will help you a lot, but also having the body language to match (poise, posture, controlled movement, relaxed etc), will increase your physical attractiveness on top of that tenfold. To be honest, the reason why the PUA thing will fail a lot, is because you are actively attempting to "pick girls up", instead of just talking to them naturally. It does become something of a scripted conversation that quite a few girls can acutely pick up on. That's what I learned anyway.... Best thing you can do is get in shape (what I'm trying to do now) and improve your body language and your voice. Use eye contact a lot, but not too much or will look creepy. Then, refine your conversational skills, if you're funny, include humor.
Buttercup84 Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 While I have to be attracted to a man , if he is an arsehole and has no personality then he is just not attractive to me. I am not into guys who spend every day at the gym and look like they are photoshopped . Boring ! If you just have looks to offer , then I am not interested .
ThaWholigan Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 While I have to be attracted to a man , if he is an arsehole and has no personality then he is just not attractive to me. I am not into guys who spend every day at the gym and look like they are photoshopped . Boring ! If you just have looks to offer , then I am not interested . I think this is certainly a given, but I think that guys who may otherwise have a great personality can sometimes have problems conveying that personality if they are not adequate at conversing with girls, or may not be keeping themselves in great shape. More importantly, their body language can hint towards a lack of confidence. I know that all of these things are true because I noticed them in myself and other guys. I think that guys who have just looks to offer will still do very well with girls in general (believe it or not ), but it tends not to work as well the other way round, so one does have to take into consideration the physical as well as the communication aspect.
FitChick Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Being attractive is a way to be noticed but you need a personality, intelligence and sense of humor to maintain that initial interest.
jobaba Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I have read a lot of books on the "pick up artist" mentality and put it to the test plenty. I've done it online, at work, in random public places, and of course at the bar/club scene. The problem with this approach is that you will fail the vast majority of the time. And when you do fail, you come off as a huge creep. I want to meet women, but I also want to have some dignity... It seems like we give women too much credit when trying to figure them out. The simplest answer, in this case, is probably the best one. Women are turned on by physically attractive men. There's no need to analyze things past that. I work in a retail and see countless couples every single day. And physically, they almost always make sense. Every so often, you will see a beauty with a beast, but those moments are few and far between. When I see a cute thin girl with her bleached blonde hair and yoga pants, there is sure to be a muscular guy close by. So my question to myself and everyone else is, why do we obsess over finding a way to seduce these women into falling for us, when the answer is painfully obvious? In order to get the women I want, I need to simply increase my physical attractiveness. The tricky part is finding a way to do that. Personally, I'm a pretty thin and frail guy. I'm 5'9 and only weigh about 145 lbs. I think that this is a universal turnoff to women, as they desire someone who looks physically fit. I've started a heavy workout regimen as well as a plan to increase the amount of food I eat. I've also invested in new clothes, a nice watch, and have started going tanning. The tanning part is tricky because no woman will admit that she wants a guy who goes tanning... but I feel that being tan will make me more attractive so I feel it's worth it. I'll let you guys know how it works. Bolded: Haha. YOU are awesome. It is true. Women are into looks. Bulking up and dressing better will help you some. But your baseline attraction is not going to change that much. If you were 5'9", 145 and looked like Jared Leto (he's about that size I think), girls would still be all over you. But still do it. I still work out and wear stylish clothes even though I know it won't help me THAT much. I generally agree with your statement of like-like couples, but 'average' attractiveness is a very broad field. Remember that. The trick IMHO (and I've told this message board a hundred times over) for average guys and below is to play the numbers and face rejection. Even the PUA sites say, "You gotta learn to deal with rejection." Rejection, unfortunately, is the key to success...
ThaWholigan Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Bolded: Haha. YOU are awesome. It is true. Women are into looks. Bulking up and dressing better will help you some. But your baseline attraction is not going to change that much. If you were 5'9", 145 and looked like Jared Leto (he's about that size I think), girls would still be all over you. But still do it. I still work out and wear stylish clothes even though I know it won't help me THAT much. I generally agree with your statement of like-like couples, but 'average' attractiveness is a very broad field. Remember that. The trick IMHO (and I've told this message board a hundred times over) for average guys and below is to play the numbers and face rejection. Even the PUA sites say, "You gotta learn to deal with rejection." Rejection, unfortunately, is the key to success... This is why I love sports. Arsenal FC Legend Dennis Bergkamp (over here, we call him God ), once said, "You cannot be afraid to miss" Who was it that also said "you always miss the shots you don't take"??
Content Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Bolded: Haha. YOU are awesome. It is true. Women are into looks. Bulking up and dressing better will help you some. But your baseline attraction is not going to change that much. If you were 5'9", 145 and looked like Jared Leto (he's about that size I think), girls would still be all over you. But still do it. I still work out and wear stylish clothes even though I know it won't help me THAT much. I generally agree with your statement of like-like couples, but 'average' attractiveness is a very broad field. Remember that. The trick IMHO (and I've told this message board a hundred times over) for average guys and below is to play the numbers and face rejection. Even the PUA sites say, "You gotta learn to deal with rejection." Rejection, unfortunately, is the key to success... It's a numbers game for everyone..Theyre's very few guys who are universally attractive to women..i have some guy friends who are supposnely really good looking get tons of women but ive seen them have days where they strike out at a club or bar after approaching numerous women.. Women have such varied tastes its stupid to take a rejection personally as some sign that all women aren't attracted to you..
jobaba Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) It's a numbers game for everyone..Theyre's very few guys who are universally attractive to women..i have some guy friends who are supposnely really good looking get tons of women but ive seen them have days where they strike out at a club or bar after approaching numerous women.. Women have such varied tastes its stupid to take a rejection personally as some sign that all women aren't attracted to you.. First of all, at bars and clubs, I've seen model quality good looking guys hit on average women and below and get shot down. That's the way the game goes. Not every woman is going to be the slut who goes home with the hot drunk guy who says two slurred sentences to her. But as to the bolded. Ehh ... to a degree. But the "everybody finds somebody attractive" saying ... garbage. And women are more narrow in what they find attractive than men. Also, if you got accepted and rejected probably roughly the same amount of times, then you are what I would consider a good looking guy. And you'd have no trouble getting women or being on this message board. Edited January 14, 2012 by jobaba
Necromancer Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Bolded: Haha. YOU are awesome. It is true. Women are into looks. Bulking up and dressing better will help you some. But your baseline attraction is not going to change that much. If you were 5'9", 145 and looked like Jared Leto (he's about that size I think), girls would still be all over you. But still do it. I still work out and wear stylish clothes even though I know it won't help me THAT much. I generally agree with your statement of like-like couples, but 'average' attractiveness is a very broad field. Remember that. The trick IMHO (and I've told this message board a hundred times over) for average guys and below is to play the numbers and face rejection. Even the PUA sites say, "You gotta learn to deal with rejection." Rejection, unfortunately, is the key to success... Very Good post!,but..........the problem is average guys will break down mentally i think if they get shot down 10 times a month,not any guy can handle it! Most guys will feel like **** if they have never been good with women and then start hitting the numbers and get rejected like 95% of the time. But rejection is 100% times better than regret!
jobaba Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Very Good post!,but..........the problem is average guys will break down mentally i think if they get shot down 10 times a month,not any guy can handle it! Depending on who you are, what you look like, and who you hit on, you may have to face rejection a lot more than THAT...
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