SpleenPoetry Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) two weeks ago I had a very nice date (3rd date) with a guy I really like. He kissed me after the date, but I said it was a bit too soon (I don't know him very well at all yet), but he should't take it personal because I think he's a very nice guy. He seemed ok with it and he said he wanted to see me again soon! I told him I wanted to see him again soon too. well now it's been two weeks, and I haven't heard from him yet. Did he just lose interest or doesn't he want to rush things/look too eager because I said the kissing was a bit too soon for me? He did tell me he really wanted to meet again soon, so why didn't he contact me yet? I'm very sad about this... he's always been rather slow to reply so I just don't get it all... Edited January 13, 2012 by SpleenPoetry
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 If I waited til the 3rd date to kiss a woman and she told me it was too soon to do that, I'd move on to other women. It's too soon to kiss on the 3rd date? I'd only understand if she is from an ultraconservative background (in which case I wouldn't be dating her anyway). Otherwise, saying it's too soon to kiss on the 3rd date is her saying she's not interested in me as bf material or she is a prude. Both possibilities are a turn-off.
CocoaBrown Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Um yeah he wanted more. You didn't allow a kiss after the 3rd date (and there is nothing wrong with that if you were uncomfortable) which told him you wouldn't be up for more anything more anytime soon and that's what he's looking for. Take it as he is doing you a favor by moving on. You should do the same.
DirtyDancing Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he lost interest. You did kiss him but you put the brakes on. If you both said you want to see each other again, I don't think him not contacting you is because he wants to move on to other women who will give him more than a kiss on the third date. He may very well be not pressuring you. Maybe you should contact him if you do want to see him again. If all he was after is sex, not worth your time! It's not being a prude to not have sex on the third date. Don't let anyone try and tell you that.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I'm always confused by how women don't understand that a guy can't put an act on for 3 dates and play the nice and understanding guy. I mean mostly anyone can and if they can't they're an idiot. He lost interest because by the third date If a girl isn't willing to at least kiss how long is it going to take him to get you into bed? You just need to realize a lot of guys out there aren't willing to take it slow, mainly because they're not after a serious relationship.
Author SpleenPoetry Posted January 14, 2012 Author Posted January 14, 2012 I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he lost interest. You did kiss him but you put the brakes on. If you both said you want to see each other again, I don't think him not contacting you is because he wants to move on to other women who will give him more than a kiss on the third date. He may very well be not pressuring you. Maybe you should contact him if you do want to see him again. If all he was after is sex, not worth your time! It's not being a prude to not have sex on the third date. Don't let anyone try and tell you that. I think I'll just ask him out again to the movies or something. Is it ok to do after 2 weeks? Also, it was me who asked him out last time, so I hope I dont appear clingy or needy/too eager when I ask him out two times in a row
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I think I'll just ask him out again to the movies or something. Is it ok to do after 2 weeks? Also, it was me who asked him out last time, so I hope I dont appear clingy or needy/too eager when I ask him out two times in a row That's pretty sad If you ask me, do you not have any self-respect? Of course you're putting a big red target on you, because now you look desperate because an average confident woman would never do this.
FitChick Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I don't think him not contacting you is because he wants to move on to other women. Read the book He's Just Not That Into You. With men, talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Move on.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 well now it's been two weeks, and I haven't heard from him yet. Did he just lose interest or doesn't he want to rush things/look too eager because I said the kissing was a bit too soon for me? The OP said kissing is too soon. Not sex is too soon. How would you feel if you've been on 3 dates and the person doesn't even wanna kiss you?
DirtyDancing Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Read the book He's Just Not That Into You. With men, talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Move on. This is a very generalized and cynical view of men. If he does like you, I assure you, he won't pressure anything! Come on! If you were the one telling him it was too soon to go further than a kiss on the third date, I would imagine he may be respecting your boundaries by distancing a little and not exerting any unwanted pressure on you. Just my opinion since this has happened to me before. I would still suggest that you contact him if you do want to see him again, (I think it's ok that you initiate twice, not a big deal). If he says no, there you go, the cynical view wins. I just don't believe in generalizations.
Andy_K Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 He probably thinks that if you're not willing to kiss after three dates, you're probably virtually asexual. He's expecting you to be boring in bed and with a low sex drive. He's decided that makes it not worth continuing the pursuit.
kaylan Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) If I waited til the 3rd date to kiss a woman and she told me it was too soon to do that, I'd move on to other women. It's too soon to kiss on the 3rd date? I'd only understand if she is from an ultraconservative background (in which case I wouldn't be dating her anyway). Otherwise, saying it's too soon to kiss on the 3rd date is her saying she's not interested in me as bf material or she is a prude. Both possibilities are a turn-off. I agree with all of this. I can understand not kissing on the first hang out...but Ive always kissed a girl by the third time. Sometimes the first or second too. I have no problem waiting for sex, but if I got along well with a girl and she didnt respond positively to my kiss by the third or fourth day, Id assume she didnt like me much. So Id prolly fade out and let her show me she actually wants me. OP, why should be contact you? He said hed like to go out again, which he probably means. But he most likely wanted you to chase him since you rebuffed the kiss. Edited January 14, 2012 by kaylan
Professor X Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Yeah, I'm putting my money on lost interest as well due to the 3rd date first kiss ending with "its too soon".
Emilia Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Yeah, if a guy told me a kiss was too soon on a 3rd date (happens I'm sure!) I'd lose interest. I'd lose interest if he didn't try to make some kind of a move on the 1st or 2nd date to be honest. Maybe OP you made the mistake of hanging out with someone you don't really fancy anyway? You should date men who make your heart race a little at least.
CocoaBrown Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Yeah, if a guy told me a kiss was too soon on a 3rd date (happens I'm sure!) I'd lose interest. I'd lose interest if he didn't try to make some kind of a move on the 1st or 2nd date to be honest. Maybe OP you made the mistake of hanging out with someone you don't really fancy anyway? You should date men who make your heart race a little at least. I agree with this. I have to say I'm surprised some people think that after 2 weeks go by with him not contacting her at all that he's giving her space. I would say letting a day or two before texting is giving space but 2 weeks? Now I'm willing to be proven wrong, but 2 weeks passing has always meant "peace out" when neither of us has made contact. And usually if it's any time after that it's because you were put in the "lonely night" catagory.
Feelsgoodman Posted January 15, 2012 Posted January 15, 2012 Read the book He's Just Not That Into You. With men, talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Move on. Only with men, huh?
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