mike588 Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Hello all. Most of you know my story... my ex. sent me a "Friends Request" on Facebook which I chose to ignore. I recently recieved a promotion at work and have been so involved with my new position I've practically forgotten about her and really just don't care anymore about seeing or hearing from her....I've truely moved on.....Finally. Anyway I recieved an email from her....a I'm so sorry I hurt you...you probably don't ever want to talk to me again....I'd like to see you again sometime and we can talk....I still have feelings for you and always will. I recieved this yesterday and am still not going to respond...hopefully she will get the message. That's all...just an update. Best wishes everyone!
radiodarcy Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Hello all. Most of you know my story... my ex. sent me a "Friends Request" on Facebook which I chose to ignore. I recently recieved a promotion at work and have been so involved with my new position I've practically forgotten about her and really just don't care anymore about seeing or hearing from her....I've truely moved on.....Finally. Anyway I recieved an email from her....a I'm so sorry I hurt you...you probably don't ever want to talk to me again....I'd like to see you again sometime and we can talk....I still have feelings for you and always will. I recieved this yesterday and am still not going to respond...hopefully she will get the message. That's all...just an update. Best wishes everyone! what could she possibly what to talk about?? good for you for not replying. she most likely wants you to help her ease her guilt.
MarMarMar Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Hello all. Most of you know my story... my ex. sent me a "Friends Request" on Facebook which I chose to ignore. I recently recieved a promotion at work and have been so involved with my new position I've practically forgotten about her and really just don't care anymore about seeing or hearing from her....I've truely moved on.....Finally. Anyway I recieved an email from her....a I'm so sorry I hurt you...you probably don't ever want to talk to me again....I'd like to see you again sometime and we can talk....I still have feelings for you and always will. I recieved this yesterday and am still not going to respond...hopefully she will get the message. That's all...just an update. Best wishes everyone! Glad to hear you're in a better headspace mike!
geegirl Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I knew this day would come. I'm proud of you Mike. You've come a long way! :bunny:
EgoJoe Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Good for you, Mike. I am forced to wonder if you'd have ever gotten this email had you accepted the FB request. Heh. You'll only get stronger now. Take note of all of the I's Me's and the You's in her email and how the You's always lead back to I or Me. Ignoring is a good choice.
M2155 Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Sooooo, you got your chance to say "no". I would find it hard not to reply...but it's got to be fun not to:cool: She's probably still with the guy anyway. "You probably don't ever want to talk to me again" does sound like guilt. I would feel bad too if I were her and I know I hurt a caring friend and caused him to not talk to me anymore.
Author mike588 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 Sooooo, you got your chance to say "no". I would find it hard not to reply...but it's got to be fun not to:cool: She's probably still with the guy anyway. "You probably don't ever want to talk to me again" does sound like guilt. I would feel bad too if I were her and I know I hurt a caring friend and caused him to not talk to me anymore. He can have her! I just hope she leaves me alone for good now...after getting the friends request it did set me back alittle....just so surprised to her from her...now this email doesn't affect me one bit!!! I just laugh about it!! Oh no....what if she shows up at my front door? ....sleep with her a couple of times then disappear...Hummmm sounds like fun!!!
lilyblue Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Everyone always asks what contact from the ex could do for you and why people want it so badly, you should just forget, etc. I think this is what it does for you - turns the tables and gives you the upper hand, which is gratifying for someone who has been hurt. I wish there was a way to get there without relying on the ex for this!
Jono85 Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 congrats man. you've reached enlightenment! lol i'm very proud that you're not entertaining this girl. she's clearly down in the dumps, and misses you comforting her. well it's a bit late for that. wayta be bud.
Buttercup84 Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I am so proud of you mike ! Before that email would have set you back but now you have truly moved on . I hope you meet someone soon I can't wait to hear about you falling in love again
Author mike588 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 I am so proud of you mike ! Before that email would have set you back but now you have truly moved on . I hope you meet someone soon I can't wait to hear about you falling in love again Thanks Butter... I'm so focused on my new position that I'm not even looking for someone else...when it happens..it will happen. I'm perfectly happy now just being single!
wilsonx Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I'm so sorry I hurt you...you probably don't ever want to talk to me again....I'd like to see you again sometime and we can talk....I still have feelings for you and always will. Mike - What does this mean in your opinion?
Author mike588 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 Mike - What does this mean in your opinion? Wilson I'm not going thru this with you again....your not putting me on trial and becoming judge..jury and excutioner again.
Rorschach64 Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Well mike all I can say you did what a lot of people probably couldn't have done. If her intentions were genuine or not, you made your own choice which you seem happy with. Keep us updated if something else happens.
smokey bear Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Oh no....what if she shows up at my front door? ....sleep with her a couple of times then disappear...Hummmm sounds like fun!!! This post, speaks a thousand words......
Author mike588 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 This post, speaks a thousand words...... I'm not about to do that! She's not worth my time...I'd like to laugh in her face if she ever wanted to try it again though. In the mean time I'm just gonna keep ignoring her and hope she gets the message.
smokey bear Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I'm not about to do that! She's not worth my time...I'd like to laugh in her face if she ever wanted to try it again though. Again, speaks for itself......
wow123 Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Here's what I find so amazing. You posted a thread about saying gbye to loveshack. Soon after she got in touch with you. Why? She somehow how sensed you moving on and getting over her. It sounds so crazy but happens all of the times. Mike, I know you know my story. I was almost completely healed after being in hell. She came back, dumped her bf, spend some time with me. Well, once she knew she had me she went back to him. Does that mean it will happen to you? Of course not. Every situation is different. She put me back in a bad place that I am working out of though. You have come so far and hope whatever you decide to do ends up with you being happy brother.
chados Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 to be honest i wouldnt be that surprised if she came running back sometime, doesnt look like she knows what she want at all.. i mean it has never worked out for them before. its awesome that youve finally moved on mike. and to be honest, i really think it would be better to stay away from her. a lot of people just dont know what they want, and they never think that what they have is enough.
fificremefarben Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 to be honest i wouldnt be that surprised if she came running back sometime, doesnt look like she knows what she want at all.. i mean it has never worked out for them before. its awesome that youve finally moved on mike. and to be honest, i really think it would be better to stay away from her. a lot of people just dont know what they want, and they never think that what they have is enough. I agree, Mike. I think in part this is about her wanting to make sure you are still there and still willing to talk to her. Her apology might be genuine, but I believe it's also about alleviating her guilt (which, fair play to her, it can't have been easy to say sorry) and seeing whether the line of communication is still open. I can't tell you what you should do. If it were me (and believe me, I'm still waiting for that apology if he ever decides to give it) I would reply to say thanks for the apology but that you don't want her to contact you- that it's over. I think that's a far stronger message than just not replying at all. However, there are advantages and disadvantages to either way of dealing with it. You'll do what's right for you. I hope it all goes well, Mike. You've come so far, stay strong.
M2155 Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 I agree, Mike. I think in part this is about her wanting to make sure you are still there and still willing to talk to her. Her apology might be genuine, but I believe it's also about alleviating her guilt (which, fair play to her, it can't have been easy to say sorry) and seeing whether the line of communication is still open. I can't tell you what you should do. If it were me (and believe me, I'm still waiting for that apology if he ever decides to give it) I would reply to say thanks for the apology but that you don't want her to contact you- that it's over. I think that's a far stronger message than just not replying at all. However, there are advantages and disadvantages to either way of dealing with it. You'll do what's right for you. I hope it all goes well, Mike. You've come so far, stay strong. I totally agree with this entire post;)
Author mike588 Posted January 14, 2012 Author Posted January 14, 2012 I agree, Mike. I think in part this is about her wanting to make sure you are still there and still willing to talk to her. Her apology might be genuine, but I believe it's also about alleviating her guilt (which, fair play to her, it can't have been easy to say sorry) and seeing whether the line of communication is still open. I can't tell you what you should do. If it were me (and believe me, I'm still waiting for that apology if he ever decides to give it) I would reply to say thanks for the apology but that you don't want her to contact you- that it's over. I think that's a far stronger message than just not replying at all. However, there are advantages and disadvantages to either way of dealing with it. You'll do what's right for you. I hope it all goes well, Mike. You've come so far, stay strong. Yeah I've been thinking about what to do....that is when I'm thinking about her which isn't often! I don't even like the idea of thinking about it...I just wish she would leave me alone....maybe if I do contact her...email.. I'll just say it's over..don't contact me anymore as you suggested. I don't want to even acknowledge her.... don't want to risk her replying to it....I don't know if she will accept it or make her want me more?? If she were to show up at my front door I wouldn't know how to act...probably close the blinds and not answer the door.
EgoJoe Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Continue ignoring. Not knowing what you would, could or "should" do is a clear indicator that you probably need to keep healing so that you can regain your objectivity.
geegirl Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) Your healing is not about her intent. Your healing is about you. There is no need to analyze her whys and her needs but to keep on moving with what you hope, for yourself. There is no stronger, louder and clearer message than silence. As I have always said, don't take a risk with any type of contact, if there is the slightest doubt in your mind that you can possibly take a slip. Edited January 14, 2012 by geegirl
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