mitchell Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I wasn't talking about a sexless relationship. I was talking about other times, i.e. when you sit together on the sofa and "cuddle" while watching TV or when you're on a airplane and "cuddle" while watching the clouds outside the window - or on the top of a hill enjoying the view. That kind of "cuddle". An "us" time that you both enjoy together without necessarily leading to sex right afterwards. Yes, we are thinking about sex during all those other times. This "cuddle" thing you speak of is really just a prelude to sex for men. If I'm cuddling on the airplane, I'm thinking about how we could sneak into the lavatory for a quickie. On top of a hill enjoying the view, I'm thinking about if anyone would see us if we were having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
silvermercy Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Yes, we are thinking about sex during all those other times. This "cuddle" thing you speak of is really just a prelude to sex for men. If I'm cuddling on the airplane, I'm thinking about how we could sneak into the lavatory for a quickie. On top of a hill enjoying the view, I'm thinking about if anyone would see us if we were having sex. I hope that's not the case with every man or I'm jumping off that plane and rolling down that hill. I'm sorry I just can't believe men are affectionate with women ONLY for sex purposes. Link to post Share on other sites
Wolf18 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 It feels nice when a woman snuggles into your chest in bed , or you hold her tight when you sleep. But all of it means nothing if she's ****ing someone else. Men aren't these cold, emotionless sex robots that only have one thing on their mind. They like physical contact and affection too, we just feel like fools and used if its without sex or relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) Often times men who let themselves become "cuddle buddies" are starved for female affection and settle for this but in the end they won't be happy. If women have a hard time understanding this point of view, it's kind of like a guy you want to have a relationship with , but only treats you like a booty call. Hurts, no? The effect is the same on men. Wrong, I'd be ecstatic. Maybe if I was able to get to cuddle with women and have sex, then I'd probably feel unhappy with just cuddling and nothing else. I've never experienced physical affection in the whole of my life, not even from my mum, and I desperatley need it. Edited January 13, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Oh, and I wouldn't trust any guy who asked for a "cuddle" (mental grimace at word). Just think: He wants a naked cuddle. Pretty much! I think some guys do enjoy affection, but they view it as part of the natural progression of intimacy. It's not something that they tend to do with women where there is no sexual attraction. I don't believe in blurring the boundaries with men that I'm not romantically interested in. No snuggling, horny midnight phone calls, or extrapolating about my bf or other men to my guy friends. I hope that's not the case with every man or I'm jumping off that plane and rolling down that hill. I'm sorry I just can't believe men are affectionate with women ONLY for sex purposes. There are plenty of men who enjoy being affectionate with women they're involved with for it's own sake; it's one of those comfortable moments where you're mutually content not to say or do a thing. Link to post Share on other sites
CocoaBrown Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I dont think female responses would be any different. I dont know many people, male or female, who just cuddle with someone for no reason. The OP contradicts herself as well because she says no sex is involved, but than states that her and the guy have an attraction for each other. So its in the wings. Without that attraction I cannot see a man and a woman cuddling like that. To answer your questions though, no not all men do not cuddle with women they are dating just to get sex. Though Im sure some guys do, plenty of guys like the emotional and physical closeness of cuddling with a girl they like. So yes we do like it, and its not just a sign we want sex. Its a sign that attraction exists between two people usually. Exactly. Alot of men like to cuddle, but I don't think a man and woman who weren't attracted to each other in some way would even think about doing it. And lets face it, if you are attracted to someone and you start getting close like that it is going to lead to something. Laying close to someone watching a movie gets old about halfway through. Soon the touching begins. lol The guy I'm dating is into cuddling and being affectionate waaay more then I am and I didn't think that was humanly possible. lol He's all about the physical and emotional connection which is fine with me but I have to say I was a bit surprised at first. Men have feelings. Who woulda thought? ha! Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 I hope that's not the case with every man or I'm jumping off that plane and rolling down that hill. I'm sorry I just can't believe men are affectionate with women ONLY for sex purposes. why do you have a fear/phobia of sex? yes, men who are attracted to you want to have sex with you. it's perfectly normal for you to want to have sex with men you are attracted to as well. i don't get it. this isn't the 1950s. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Anyone here had any? Where you may cuddle on the couch during a movie, or may even sleep in the same bed and spoon, but aren't having sex and there is no immediate intent to have sex? Mostly back when I was a virgin, with a couple of more recent exceptions, and those were both married female friends during difficult times and from a perspective of love and support rather than a means to sex. I would never, ever, not in a million years, enter any bedroom with a woman I was not fully intent on making love with or had made love with. Never have, never will. Could a lover or my wife and I lay on a bed and 'cuddle and spoon' without having sex? Sure. It's great bonding, adjunct to a fully involved emotional and sexual relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
stitch702 Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Yeah one of my exes started off as a cuddle buddy...then a **** buddy...then a girlfriend.....she actually turned out to be one of my memorable relationships. We ended up breaking up due to external circumstances, but we are still friends to this day...I dont regret it Link to post Share on other sites
Carlos S Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 I'd love one! But never anyone I want a serious relationship (which right now is about 0) Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) I hope that's not the case with every man or I'm jumping off that plane and rolling down that hill. I'm sorry I just can't believe men are affectionate with women ONLY for sex purposes. No we arent only affectionate to get sex. However, men and women are only affectionate in that way with one another if an attraction exists. Cuddling is pretty intimate. The only other "people" I would cuddle with who werent women I liked would be my cats, my cousin when she was a cute wittle kid, and my own kids in the future. Adults wont cuddle with one another unless they want to get it on with one another. This doesnt mean they cuddle to get it on though. It just means the closeness they have is created by their attraction to one another.why do you have a fear/phobia of sex? yes, men who are attracted to you want to have sex with you. it's perfectly normal for you to want to have sex with men you are attracted to as well. i don't get it. this isn't the 1950s. =/ Condescensionis unnecessary Edited January 14, 2012 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
silvermercy Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 (edited) why do you have a fear/phobia of sex? yes, men who are attracted to you want to have sex with you. it's perfectly normal for you to want to have sex with men you are attracted to as well. i don't get it. this isn't the 1950s. No. I have no sex phobia. Yes. You didn't get what I was talking about. (Kaylan got it though, so thank you!) Edited January 14, 2012 by silvermercy Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts