Jon10 Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Hi guys, I broke NC with my long distance ex girlfriend through a text on new years day after going 6 months NC. We had been in a LDR between January and May of last year after meeting over Christmas in my home town and hit things off immediately. She's 28 and I'm 30. New years meant something to the both of us so I guess you could say that played a role in me breaking after 6 months. During the period while seeing each other we would spend weekends together every four weeks and both loved every second. We would talk about future plans but we both found the distance aspect tough.... her especially. Finally in May she ended things with the distance being too much to handle and I didn't take that so well but had to accept things as they stood.(Ireland to England) I got on with things...life...dated new people.. and over the last few months I moved into a new job which has resulted in me working for periods in England. She seemed happy that I made contact and we exchanged more texts this week catching up - she quizzed me on my new job, where i was working etc and the exchanges consisted of happy flirty banter with a few inside jokes but neither of us touched on the previous relationship or brought it up. So I guess I don't really know what my question here is....has anyone experience in reconnecting with a LD ex? I would like to give this a shot now that the distance is closed somewhat and if its not to be then I can live with that. It seems that the angles to approach this from are much more restricted compared to running into an ex in the same town every week. Anyhow...any thoughts are apperciated. Happy new year everyone!
folieadeux Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Happy New Year to you too Jon! I don't have any personal experience getting back together with an LD partner, however the only thing I would say is that make sure you both have a reason for a do-over this time around. The distance was a dealbreaker last time. It really wouldn't make such sense to get back together only to head towards the same end result again in a few months down the line. Your job does bridge the gap a bit, but you have to think long term. If you both can't sort out a feasible plan to be together permanently, then I honestly wouldn't even suggest going down the same road again.
Author Jon10 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 Hi folieadeux, thanks for the comments and congrats to you! It's strange because I've had a much tougher time with this LDR failing than any of my previous longer lasting relationships were distance wasn't even a factor. I guess I felt more free and open to express myself with her than I have been with anyone else and really wanted to make it work in the long run. I hear what your saying about the danger of repeating what happened before when it didn't work the first time....isn't that what they call insanity? Without the change of location I wouldn't even be contemplating reconciliation...I know that her reason at the time was the 'distance' but there may have been other reasons or things going on...its very difficult to know when theres such distance involved and makes it all the more frustrating in the long run.
FitChick Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 If you're both in England, I don't see what the problem is, at least if and until you decide to return to Ireland and she doesn't want to go. If you want to continue living in England, then that is one less problem to deal with.
folieadeux Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 Hi folieadeux, thanks for the comments and congrats to you! It's strange because I've had a much tougher time with this LDR failing than any of my previous longer lasting relationships were distance wasn't even a factor. I guess I felt more free and open to express myself with her than I have been with anyone else and really wanted to make it work in the long run. I hear what your saying about the danger of repeating what happened before when it didn't work the first time....isn't that what they call insanity? Without the change of location I wouldn't even be contemplating reconciliation...I know that her reason at the time was the 'distance' but there may have been other reasons or things going on...its very difficult to know when theres such distance involved and makes it all the more frustrating in the long run. Thanks so much Jon and I totally understand the insanity thing too. We're all a tiny bit insane I think...it goes with the LDR territory for sure! I definitely feel the most fulfilled with my SO than any other relationship I've ever been in as well, despite the miles between us. I think as long as both of you have a game plan of sorts set for this time around then you'll be setting a good foundation for the future.
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