gjpax1 Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 getting a girl to seemingly like and/or flirt with me is no problem, getting a girl's phone number i have no problem with. However i can never take it beyond that. Everytime i see if a girl wants to hang out, no matter how casual i make it sound it never works. I'm not a pushy guy and i leave plenty of space. Probably too much space tbh. I also tend to give up after i invite a girl to hang out after about 2-3 times. This is over the course of 2-3 week period. My question is, is after you get a girl's number or meet a girl how do you continue future meetings? I can never get comfortable with someone like this.
jobaba Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Women are picky and very skittish about going on 'dates' with men they have no clear interest in, i.e. guys they don't find good looking. If they think it's a date, then they'll balk due to being uncomfortable. Read that again. It's important. There's two ways around it. Either ask them out in a vague, 'hang out' type of invitation which might get them to warm to you or hit on enough of them that one thinks you're good looking or is non-shallow enough to give you a chance. Simple as pie.
Emilia Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 getting a girl to seemingly like and/or flirt with me is no problem, getting a girl's phone number i have no problem with. However i can never take it beyond that. Everytime i see if a girl wants to hang out, no matter how casual i make it sound it never works. I'm not a pushy guy and i leave plenty of space. Probably too much space tbh. I also tend to give up after i invite a girl to hang out after about 2-3 times. This is over the course of 2-3 week period. My question is, is after you get a girl's number or meet a girl how do you continue future meetings? I can never get comfortable with someone like this. You shouldn't ask someone more than once or twice max. It would be better if you gave us a specific example but my guess is you aren't aggressive enough. I think they like you but they probably expect you to be a bit more pushy. Girls who like you also like you to be a little pushy A woman poster once here said that women aren't attracted to men as such but to their desire. Cheekiness goes a very long way with girls believe me.
dizy Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 i guess 2 approaches can work here: 1. you do some research abt this person: not everyone has the time/energy or likes to hang out at bars/clubs or places that people usually go for first dates. try to figure out what the person likes such as sports. 2. make it VERY clear that you are interested and looking forward to a date. and that this is ACTUALLY a date. the problem with first dates is that we never know if something is happening. In both case, I will be giving the guy a chance: in the first situation, we might have interests in common and in the second one, he is really interested and has enough confidence to clearly show it
Dust Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 getting a girl to seemingly like and/or flirt with me is no problem, Think of it more as you flirting with girls. Like if you go over and say "pee pee poo poo caca!" and that happens to put a big smile on her face, or better yet she laughs you've done good son. Just go over to these girls you like and say what ever comes to mind. Be yourself, the flirty version! getting a girl's phone number i have no problem with. Getting a phone number is no big deal. It's really a step that should come out of asking them out... Not a step toward asking them out. You shouldn't be "Hey can I have your number" or what ever it is that you say and then asking them out. Also my guess is you are asking these girls out over the phone, or worse through txts. It's easy to say no to a guy you barely remember flirting with when he txts or calls at a later time... even later that day. You should ask these girls out and then get their phone number after. Example: You say "lets have dinner tonight!" she responds "sounds great!" Then you take out your phone and say "put your number in" then you hit dial and say "now you have my number I'll call you tonight at 5 and I'll pick you up for dinner around 6" That wasn't an exact script you need to follow just an example of how it should work. Most important thing you need to understand is getting her number has nothing to do with asking her out. You ask out in person! The cool brave way. The way she will feel most awkward saying "no!" If she does say no chances are it won't be a clear no. Like she might say "I'm busy tonight." Then you might say "How about tomorrow night" at that point hopefuly she says "yes tommorrow night" or "not tommorow night but Sunday I'm free." If she just plain says no! I would still try to get her number. So you're going to pull out your phone and get her number whether she says "yes" to a date or "no." Just make sure you ask her out on the date in person! She may not give you her number if she totaly turned you down for a date, but theres also a good chance she will. She may even start to like you for your persistence. Women love confidence and confidence is about not being scared, its about showing you take actions. So just make sure to call her right there and be like "now you have my number too" or txt her "Nice meeting you ______ this is ________ now you have my number." Obviously if you can't see her in person again but you have her number thats how you'll ask her out. In person is best though! However i can never take it beyond that. Everytime i see if a girl wants to hang out' date=' no matter how casual i make it sound it never works. I'm not a pushy guy and i leave plenty of space. Probably too much space tbh.[/quote'] Making it casual isn't the key. Making it seem fun! "I have some great concert tickets!" "Ever fly a kite on the beach" "Bowling!" Also show some interest in them. Something like "I really like your smile." I also tend to give up after i invite a girl to hang out after about 2-3 times. This is over the course of 2-3 week period. Really you should only give up when you've become bored or its really obvious she will never do anything with you. I mean if you creep a girl out by asking her out for 2 months straight who cares as long as you were polite each time and she never made it obvious thats on you. Nicely acting busy isn't obvious and I respect girls doing that the thing is some girls who do that get worn down and go out with the guy and marry him etc. So you have nothing to lose by not giving up until you're ready to give up. As long as you're polite about it. My question is' date=' is after you get a girl's number or meet a girl how do you continue future meetings? I can never get comfortable with someone like this. [/quote'] You need to ask them out in person. Also realize lots of girls will say no. You'll get on a hot streak soon enough. Stop making a big deal about the number and for god sakes don't ask girls out through txts and phone calls when you could have done it in person. Good luck!
blueskyday Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) I agree with the above. When I think about it, the guys who approach me, chat and mention something to go do together seem more natural. Then there is a reason to give them my number. I don't like it when a guy asks for my number without any mention of his intent. I'd say "Great talking with you. I've got to get going, but I'd love to talk with you some more later. Want to go to that music festival on Sat.?" (Especially good if we were talking about it, or another discussed activity like movies, etc.) It also shows you are a man of action. There is nothing worse than giving out a number, and waiting for the guy to ask you out. He may call and try to talk on the phone for hours,without mentioning getting together. I will often make a move then and ask to go something. I'd rather make a date to go spend time getting to know each other in person. Edited January 13, 2012 by blueskyday
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