chryssy83 Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 So many of the posts here are about how things AREN'T going well....so hopefully this post is more of an "upper." For those who might be starting new relationships...what advice do you all have on how to be a fantastic girlfriend? (Note: not looking for how to be a great first date or a great lay. Talking about a relationship here... )
jobaba Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) So many of the posts here are about how things AREN'T going well....so hopefully this post is more of an "upper." For those who might be starting new relationships...what advice do you all have on how to be a fantastic girlfriend? (Note: not looking for how to be a great first date or a great lay. Talking about a relationship here... ) I've had the fortune/misfortune to be in relationships with two different women who were oil and water in terms of being a 'good girlfriend'. I'm not talking about looks or compatibility or fun, just being a good 'partner'. 1) Taking initiative to check up on your partner. Just saying "Hi. How are you honey. How's work?" means a lot to me. If not everyday, just do it a few times a week. 2) Caring when things go bad. One time I totaled my car in a pretty bad accident in the middle of the work day. I called my GF at the time and she sounded so apathetic. She was like, "I told you should keep your eyes on the road." She MAY have asked me if I was OK. That was just her personality but stuff like that irked me. 3) Be proud to be his girlfriend. When you're out in public, say "This is my boyfriend." or "I'm dating XXXX." Don't be hesitant like you want to keep that fact under wraps until you can get someone better. You may very well want that, but consider the other person's feelings and be proud. 4) Far and away the most important ... be supportive. Be supportive of their hopes and dreams ... even if their outrageous or flimsy. You can add a dose of reality, but still be supportive. Tell your partner they are attractive, even if you are dating them for reasons other than that. I've mentioned in other threads that I would date someone I had no physical attraction to. However, I would never TELL that person that. Complete honesty of that sort is uncalled for. Always look out for your partner's feelings when you are about to say something. Like I said before, all of the above is independent of compatibility. She could be awesome woman, but there's just not enough to keep you laughing or talking for enough time. So, just because you have that doesn't make for marriage material. But the above is half of what I want for sure! Edited January 12, 2012 by jobaba
Feelin Frisky Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Neither party should make things "all about them" and both parties must take responsibility for the part they played in souring the good vibe in a relationship, and sometimes that means that it can be all on her or all on him--no "yeah buts". If one party did something to sour the relationship, that party needs to actually BE sorry and not think that saying they are sorry gets them off the hook. A great g/f does not treat the new guy as if he is a new unit of the bad kind of male she's experienced in the past--be it a former b/f or her dad or a brother or uncle. She needs to give him a clean slate. A great g/f also needs to know that it's important to a guy to give gifts and give compliments when it's his idea and not be coerced into saying nice things or giving flowers by her because she's too neurotic to let him breathe and show how he feels on his own schedule. I hate hearing prompts for things--it just ruins the whole thing about being able to surprise her with something genuinely felt and happily given.
carhill Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 For those who might be starting new relationships...what advice do you all have on how to be a fantastic girlfriend? Be proactive, like the man was when he was (and continues to be) courting you. Whether by word or deed, show that the relationship and your partner are on your mind and in your heart and do it proactively.
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