Leigh 87 Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 How can you tell if your boyfriend has true, romantic feelings for you? My boyfriend says he does have feelings for me. He has had feelings for people before, so I guess he would KNOW if he feels for me, in the same way? Some red flags: - he rarely acts like he wants me, sexually; he does not lick my nipples, finger me, or engage in foreplay. He knows that I love it - to me, it allows me to feel his love for me, when he does acts such as that. I would say, once a week at most, when we go out and drink, he has done those things. When asked, he swears he does want me. He tells me, that because we were living to gether for months, and were jobless at one stage and therefore together all day EVERY DAY............................. that THIS situation, means that he wants to " hang out" and focus on our " friendship side of the relationship. He says his ideal girl, his also his best friend ( corny corny yuck) lol. He likes a girl who is adventures, open minded, into going on advantures and trying new thigns and who is fun to hang around. Before me, in his 5 years alive, he has only strongly liked one other girl. She was beautiful ( more so than me), intelligent ( speaking several languases), and just a GREAT person. WIth her, he said that they hung out like best friends, very good friends, and were not all over each other at all. He explained that this is the ideal way for him to be around girls. Even around this cool girl, he still did not go round holding her hand often. ONly at night when out ( they travelled together for 3 months), and not every day even. I KNOW he loves me. I 100% know we have a love for each other. We are VERY close - we were together all day every day for months. We hugged each other in our sleep every night. We were basically everything to each other. Another sign we are close: he hates being corny, and talking about hsi feelings, his feelings towards me are no exception. At times, he has said things like " wow this makes me feel so close to you" and " I love being so close to you" and months ago, he said " I want to be everything to each other" and " when I close my eyes, your all i think about" These thigns are vwery rare for him to utter, trust me. When we have sex, I feel a lot of feelings for him. When he went away on holidays without me ( on hsi dads boat, his dad is a millionair) I could not come ( could not afford it, and my b/f has not much cash in hand and is in debt) Whjen he was AWAY, it felt like half of me was missing. I truly knew I loved him. I definately love him, and he loves me, however, I am not sure IF: - He has strong romantic feelings for me - he wants my body sexually, very strongly He says he does. However, he does not do forplay or sexyala cts enough on me, to convince me. He SAYS that he PREFERs to have sex and stuff les soften, because it makes it much mroe intense when we DO have it. He prefers to save sexual things, for times when we are getting on really well, and we really MEAN it. I understand, that when single, we do not go and have sex every week even; so I suppose that just because you in a relationship, that you have to have sex every second day? ( apart fromn the beginning, where we would have sex every time we saw each other).
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 12, 2012 Author Posted January 12, 2012 Another thing: he doees not " french kiss" ever. He says he does not like doing it, and prefers normal kisses, which we do daily... I am not a very good kisser, which makes it harder. However, i would like to improve, and will ask him if we could practive once every two days or so. Better still, while we have sex, I will ask him to practive kissing with me. WE DO kiss during sex, but because I am not a good kisser, there is not much tongue. Just lots of nice kisses:) I am just really not satisfied, in the way he shows me he wants me. ANOTHER THING: I have gained weight, from a verythin chick, to a normal but still slightly slim chick... I was a gym junkie and gym fit, and now I am not. I have not let myself go too badly, however, I do not like to be naked in front of him much, or showe my body off to him, as I always feel full and bloated ( I over eat a lot) He tells me: if I was more happy with my body, and happily showed it off to him more, he would get WAY more turned on, a lot more of the time...... So................ I want to - get back into the gym, so I can look and feel confident about my body, and in turn, wear sexy underwear aim my body, and tease himw ith my body ( he says he would love me to do that) - practice kissing with tongue each time we have sex, so I can improve my kissing. He says he is not a big kisser any way, after 11 months together especially. I know our relationship is worth saving, for now. We have had fights , cos my life is a mess: I ave recovered from an eating disorder, have no friends or no job, and we are both messy and lived in a filthy house........ I have now tidied th ehosue, clean up afte rmyself to a normal extent, am starting to look for work ( or else with go back and study part time whilst still looking for part timer work) AND I am going to go back to the gym. I have started by walking 30 mins a day and doing at home ab work every day... next step is to get back aty the gym.............. I know it is not healthy to be in a relationship, when my boyfriend was literally ALL I HAD. I had no family, friends, job, life, I have hobbie and interest, but little money to explore them, due to not having a job............... He said he sees enough good in my pesonality to love me and hav fun with me, even wehen my life is NOT together. He says he thinks we should be TOGETHER WHILE I get my life on track. No need to take timer away from him, just because I have to fix my own life. On the bright side: he has just started a full time job. We have both cleaned our houses. We hit rock bottom. We are both similar, in that: - we are adventurous, and wanrt to try everything ( sky diving, travel, swinging and sex parties ( threesomes, he does not want other guys tching me) - our fave things to do with no moneym however, have been: just going to the beach, throwing a ball to each other, walkiing, playing with his adorable litle dogs Other things in common: - adult children living in our parents homes - our parents live overseas and seldom come back, so we just live in their places, so we can save more money. After all, it means we casn travel sooner, as we will save money more readily, without the expense of rent. We are just 25. - Both messy, very messy lol........... I am the one who cleans up after us both. - we both enjoy being great friends, and not having to kiss and hug and be a " couple" all the time! We like down time just being friends and having a lot of fun:) This makes the close times so much better to me, more so than the past clingly guys. - very easy going - we know we have talents and are not silly, and both LOVE learning new things. I want to study at one point ( seeing as I did gain a good entry score into Uni). - whilst young, we want to save and travel for the remainder of our 20's, and study when older. Trwavelling when young is optimal in our minds. - both LOVE TO PARTY and go to music festivals, and party hard, etc.... So, that is a litte about us. I have overcome my mental illness, and am picking the pieces of my life up. he has helped immensely He taught me, that he is more attracted to me, based on how I ACT, not what i weigh. I am totally dedicated to bettering myself as a person, as my weight has been TOTALLY irrellevant, in how attracted he has been towards me.
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 12, 2012 Author Posted January 12, 2012 Any imput on our relationship? We are very compatable, however, should I take a short break from him, in order to get my lif eon track? SHould I see him, but less often, just on weekends, until I get a job/ get back into the gym, get mys elf esteem up again? I knwo living in each others pockets, whilst I have no life or job, is not healthy... hwoever, he has a full time job now, and we also live in clean houses, so thigs are slowly getting better.............. ONE LAST NOTE, a tragic note........ he lost hsi mother last year. They were VERY close. He rarely talked about it. His mother looked after him a lot, and did everything for him, people tell me. She was an amazing person, all his mates tell me she would pick him up at all hours of the =night, and even stop and get his mates mcdonalds at 3 in the morning. OBSERVATION: he LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs the way I take care of him - I am VERY caring.. I LOVE to cook, clean, and look after him when he is sick. It freaks me out a little, how his dead mother looked after him so much, and he now loves how I do the same for him............................. I am weird and quirky, crazy, and I am open to always trying new things.... for instance, he likes romote control helicopters, planes, cars, fun things like that........ WHen he flies his helicopter, I always jumop up and try to have a go. I enjoy trying things out in life. I am sure he likes more about me, than the fact I look after him, the way his mother did............... BUT it srtill freaks me out. PLEASE someone, give me some imput. Besides telling me to go get a life. It is not so easy after an eating disorder and mental illness, as I had no life or friends or job, and now have to pursue all these things.
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