spiderowl Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 How can a woman show a guy that she's interested but won't be chasing him? I don't think it shows self-respect to chase a guy. So I'm more interested in hearing about subtle hints which also convey self-respect. Thanks
TheFinalWord Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 How can a woman show a guy that she's interested but won't be chasing him? I don't think it shows self-respect to chase a guy. So I'm more interested in hearing about subtle hints which also convey self-respect. Thanks You're interested, but wants to play games? Good luck! I guess make sure you give him attention when he dishes it out. You can also show you are interested in him without coming across desperate by initiating conversations and accepting his date offers.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I prefer when women throw their underwear at me.. It's very subtle yet very effective!
tangerinetrees Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I agree in a sense with the OP.....it seems to me that the more interested I act, the less work the guy puts into it. Like, if we have been talking and texting a lot and I start to send a good morning text a couple of days in a row, suddenly I'm not hearing from him until I initiate contact. What's up with that??? Its like men think that once the girl they're dating is interested in them, they just sit back and let her do all the work of building up a relationship.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I agree in a sense with the OP.....it seems to me that the more interested I act, the less work the guy puts into it. Like, if we have been talking and texting a lot and I start to send a good morning text a couple of days in a row, suddenly I'm not hearing from him until I initiate contact. What's up with that??? Its like men think that once the girl they're dating is interested in them, they just sit back and let her do all the work of building up a relationship. Because that's what men do. There's a certain amount of challenge that women give in the beginning...but once a woman is into it and gives in, then it's all down hill from there, puddy in the hands! So you coming right out and saying you're interested changes the angle of and persistence of pursuit because now we know what we wouldn't have known before. Of course women can change this dynamic by throwing a wrench in the mix but they typically don't.
dispatch3d Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 At some stage in the relationship, you're going to have to put effort in otherwise it will be a ****ty relationship (for the guy). Not saying you have to ask him out, but you have to reciprocate some.... regardless of this self respect thing.
tangerinetrees Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Because that's what men do. There's a certain amount of challenge that women give in the beginning...but once a woman is into it and gives in, then it's all down hill from there, puddy in the hands! So you coming right out and saying you're interested changes the angle of and persistence of pursuit because now we know what we wouldn't have known before. Of course women can change this dynamic by throwing a wrench in the mix but they typically don't. I know its true, but I have to say....that just plain sucks! I feel like guys are never really just themselves! They are always working some 'game' and I never know what the stupid rules are and then I'm just confused and frustrated and one or both of us loses interest. So dumb!
Woggle Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I know its true, but I have to say....that just plain sucks! I feel like guys are never really just themselves! They are always working some 'game' and I never know what the stupid rules are and then I'm just confused and frustrated and one or both of us loses interest. So dumb! Because sincerity rarely works with women. If these women showed interest in you chances are you would lose interest.
Dust Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 You know that little tab at the top of soda/beer cans. If you hand a guy you like that tab and you get it off the can with out breaking the little part that kept it attached... He'll know! He'll just know! If I'm the guy some bikini pictures would be a very subtle way...
turt Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I know its true, but I have to say....that just plain sucks! I feel like guys are never really just themselves! They are always working some 'game' and I never know what the stupid rules are and then I'm just confused and frustrated and one or both of us loses interest. So dumb! You should probably stay away from them if that's the case. I wouldn't do it.
TheFinalWord Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 They are always working some 'game' and I never know what the stupid rules are and then I'm just confused and frustrated and one or both of us loses interest. So dumb! If the guy is interested he'll reciprocate evenly and if he's really interested you won't be able to keep him away as long as you give him reassurance of his efforts. If not, he'll fade away. If you lose interest in a guy, do you continue texting, calling, etc? Probably not. So it's not really a game, he's just not feeling it for whatever reason.
phineas Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I know its true, but I have to say....that just plain sucks! I feel like guys are never really just themselves! They are always working some 'game' and I never know what the stupid rules are and then I'm just confused and frustrated and one or both of us loses interest. So dumb! I'm confused. If I like a woman I ask her out. Anything but a "yes" = "no" & I forget about her & move on. How exactly do you date?
TheFinalWord Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Anything but a "yes" = "no" & I forget about her & move on. LOL that's going on my "top LS quotes" list...right next to "don't take any guy/girl serious until you've had at least 5 dates".
kaylan Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I agree in a sense with the OP.....it seems to me that the more interested I act, the less work the guy puts into it. Like, if we have been talking and texting a lot and I start to send a good morning text a couple of days in a row, suddenly I'm not hearing from him until I initiate contact. What's up with that??? Its like men think that once the girl they're dating is interested in them, they just sit back and let her do all the work of building up a relationship. Guys only behave this way when they didnt really like the girl much to begin with. When a guy likes a girl, her being assertive is appreciated and welcome. If someone likes you they make it easy for you, man or woman.
kaylan Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 How can a woman show a guy that she's interested but won't be chasing him? I don't think it shows self-respect to chase a guy. So I'm more interested in hearing about subtle hints which also convey self-respect. Thanks If you arent willing to put yourself out there at all and make your interest known, be prepared to lose out on a guy you like. Its not that hard to let someone know youd like to hang with them. Its called flirting...or you can even ask him if he wants to get coffee or catch a movie or something. Ive had girls I just kniw tell me "why havent we hung out yet?" or "we totally have to chill sometime" or "do you wanna go on *insert casual chill thing to do*?" The first two statements are putting it out there that shed like to chill and if Im feeling it ill ask for her number right then and there or in the next few times I see her. Its possible we may be hanging as just friends though depending on the nature of our relationship so far. The last one is straight up asking me to chill and makes it obvious shes into me. Its rare a girl uses the third method...Im used to them using the first two after weve built a little rapport. Its like her saying to me "youre funny and cool and I want you to ask me to hang out with you."
Lonely Ronin Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 If someone likes you they make it easy for you, man or woman. I'd add one minor change to this. If someone likes you, and they are confident about who they are as a person, they will make it easy for you, man or woman. It blows my mind how many people don't get this.
Author spiderowl Posted January 14, 2012 Author Posted January 14, 2012 Thanks for the interesting replies. Just to get one thing straight, I am not saying that guys are worth less than women, not at all. I don't think guys respect women that chase them (despite what they say - and is any guy going to say he doesn't want women chasing him?). I was looking for some clear way of indicating interest but which also lets them know they need to take the next step. Got a few ideas now.
Feelsgoodman Posted January 14, 2012 Posted January 14, 2012 How can a woman show a guy that she's interested but won't be chasing him? I don't think it shows self-respect to chase a guy. So I'm more interested in hearing about subtle hints which also convey self-respect. Thanks Most guys don't understand "subtle hints". Just because you ask someone out doesn't mean you are chasing him. Chasing implies going after someone who is acting ambiguous or playing hard to get. You can be direct without appearing desperate. If he doesn't sound keen, just move on.
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