phineas Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Ignore them. Honestly. Last yr, dated a woman my age (almost 40) I had known from work for 2 months, she blew me off with "I don't want a relationship, can't we just hang out as friends" I told her I had enough friends. That week, she updated her POF profile with new pictures. Profile clearly states she is looking for a relationship. LOL! Then she calls me up again & wanting to be friends. I repeated I had enough friends. I don't actually work with her & hardly see her at work so It's no biggie & I forgot about her. A few weeks ago she see's me all in shape & asks me to lunch, we go & she's all flirty & talking about us getting together, telling me how good I look, ect. We talk later & she starts waffling when I ask her on a date. LOL! She says she isn't looking to get married & just wants to hang out. well, I just went through the "hang-out" crap with another woman & I told her "Don't waste my time, you called me up for a reason, what was it?" She waffled again. So I continued: "after 2 months of dating last yr, you just blew me off, so it's dating or nothing" So she agreed we could date. I set a date & I told her if she blows me off again she's done. The morning we were supposed to go out she txt'd me saying I scared her off & she isn't ready for a relationship and just wants to hang out as friends & go from there. I lol'd & basically told her not to contact me again. I saw her at work this week & just walked by like she was any other faceless employee & honestly felt nothing. Normally I wouldn't post about every attention whore I come in contact with, but this one goes above and beyond messed up in the head. Today I signed into POF & did a search. Guess who reactivated her profile, updated pictures & clearly is looking for a relationship? :lmao: I must have a chump sign taped to me back. LOL! I should update my POF profile for the lulz. I'm actually finishing up my Match.com profile tonight. Edited January 12, 2012 by phineas
TheFinalWord Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the reminder! I've had this happen to me...at least the girl I was interested in was mid-20s...40 and still acting like that is pathetic! Women using the "friends first" talk are insecure. They want to try you out before deciding if they can trust you. You try on clothes, not humans. Probably burned in the past...don't do time for another guy's crime is my motto now. Of course friendship is the basis for a relationship. It goes without saying... but what you're saying is you want it to become a romantic friendship; not just another woman to talk to. It's good to state that at the beginning. Edited January 12, 2012 by TheFinalWord
carhill Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Emotional vampires are kind of fun if you let them be. Great time killer. For me, since I'm lousy at banter, they're great practice. Think of them like a psych patient and detach. It's funny how clarity can affect such dynamics so markedly. I'd never have said that a decade or so ago (back when I was your age). You've got a lot of good times ahead of you plus some great kids to share them with. Life is good
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 I think FinalWord is right that she's been hurt in the past. If you had let her friendzone you then you would have just been kept around to feed her desire for attention. I think a guy over 25 letting himself get friendzoned is lame. By 25, a guy should realize friendzone doesn't have any benefits.
Author phineas Posted January 12, 2012 Author Posted January 12, 2012 Because she was another employee I didn't even try to have sex with her until she came over for dinner 2 months in & the night before she was sex talking with me on the phone. She walked in the door & changed into her jeans in front of me in the living room. Then shut me down while we were cuddling on the couch & that was it. Actually, i'd seen this chicks underwear two other times over the yrs. Once in public when she had a "wardrobe malfunction" when I ran into her at a concert & again last yr when we went Christmas shopping. She wanted to try on some jeans & left the booth door open by "accident" It just screams attention whore to me.
carhill Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Have a little fun with it. Go to the BDSM or bi-sexual place. Role play. Give her advice on her cooch. Life is about living
Author phineas Posted January 12, 2012 Author Posted January 12, 2012 Have a little fun with it. Go to the BDSM or bi-sexual place. Role play. Give her advice on her cooch. Life is about living I hear ya. but i'm done with that one in particular. I really have zero interest in even talking to her. She is a beautiful woman but i'm just not the least bit attracted to her anymore. I'm giving match the 3 month chance to find someone to actually date. then i'm going to do what I did last summer. Have fun with women and forget about trying to date.
carhill Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Have fun with women and forget about trying to date. Been doin' that for nearly two years. Lotsa fun. So far, only a few have 'come back', so I must be doing something right. Caring less has been a journey of discovery. Hope it works out
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