Butterflying Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) When we met, my boyfriend was whoring around. It continued several months into the relationship. Now we're exclusive. He is in the process of breaking things off with all the other women. We are very social people. We bump into one or two of these women everywhere we go. For some reason he brags about the size of his penis. It's often the topic of the evening. I find it embarraing and immature. Yes he is well endowed but not by far the biggest in the world. When I tell him to stop bringing up his cock in pubic, especially not now while he's trying to clean up his image. He tells me I'm being too sensitive, spoiling the fun. Am I being too sensetive? It it appropriate to joke about something so personal all the time? I played along the first time it came up. But it seems now that he is not being a whore anymore, his friends are making it more of an issue. I querying their friendship sometimes. Like why aren't any of them trying to understand how this makes me feel. I'm humiliated, embarrassed. It's bad enough that I have to live with the fact that my boyfriend has a slutty past every single day. This whole thing is starting to get the best of me. Edited January 11, 2012 by Butterflying Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 No, you're definitely not being too sensitive. That is immature, gross, and unattractive behavior. How old is your boyfriend? Also, what do you mean when you say he's "in the process" of breaking things off with all of the other girls? How hard is it for him to call each of them up and say he's now with you and what they had is over? There's no need to make it a big "process." I would be worried about that if I was you. You've only been dating him for a few months and exclusive for a very short time, yet he does multiple things that bother you and humiliate you. He sounds like a huge waste of your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 " in the process " oh sweetie it does not take much to end things . He is making you feel bad about yourself , don't do this . You're not being too sensitive . He's being a inmature jerk . Would you want your friend to be with someone like that ? Please dump that man child . Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 You're being played for a fool...just wonder how long it will take you to figure it out. ::eats popcorn:: This is going to be a long one folks If she hasn't walked away from a clear douche like this now! A man doesn't just give it up like that my dear, it takes him own time and his own will...you cannot change a man, and no, not even If he really likes/loves you, It doesn't work that way and I know it's hard for you to understand...you probably never will understand it but you can stick around until you're as jaded as they come out of the end of all of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Thanks for the feedback. Trust me, the whole "process" thing is another issue. I understand some relationships are not that cut & dry, like one of them is with his female boss with whom he has to see every day. They often take business trips together which is how their relationship started. I've given him a a few months to break it to her and others like her without ruining his life & career. We've been exclusive for almost six months, dating for a year. By the way, he's 33 and divorced!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Seems like I remember part of this story from earlier this fall? Your BF wouldn't tell anyone he was dating you, and he was sleeping with (or you suspected he was sleeping with) his female boss? If this is the case, 1) it shouldn't take him 6 months of your being exclusive to bring you out in the open, and 2) he shouldn't need any time at all to just stop having sex with someone. I didn't realize that he has been carrying on with various women; I thought it was just his boss - which was bad enough. Are you sure he's 33? Sounds more like he's 13! Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 He will always need and seek out external validation, regardless of any relationship that he's in. He clearly prioritized his feelings and his relationship with his boss, when he chose to hide you from her. What's your timeline on walking away from this? Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 He sounds like scum Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 He is simply expressing himself sexually and should not be judged for his past...or at least some people would tell you that. Honestly, your whole relationship screams red flags. I would be very careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 I'm a huge advocate of moving beyond the past. In our case, his past keeps haunting us because all the women are still in his life. They were friends before they had sex, friends of close friends, ect. Unless they choose, they will never disappear. I can accept that he's not still intimate with them. And unfortunately some of them are just now finding out about me. He made a public announcement on New Years day. One of the women was so upset she actually did cut him out of her life completely. Like the others, he was trying to keep her as a friend. In the end she felt betrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 One of the women was so upset she actually did cut him out of her life completely. Like the others, he was trying to keep her as a friend. In the end she felt betrayed. The problem for this woman in particular and all the others is they had no idea about me or the others. I've known about all of them for quite some time now. He confessed when he assurred me he wanted our relationship to work. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 You say 'It's bad enough that I have to live with the fact that my boyfriend has a slutty past every single day'...but you specifically chose him for who he is. I get the impression you waited around for 6 mths for him to finish up with these other women in fact (though you may have been seeing other guys in the meatime yourself). The same persona/looks & cock that brought him a lot of success with many women, worked its magic on you. I guess you want a cocky jerk guy who had a lot of success charming women, but now with you he instantly becomes a reformed gentleman. Obviously he is a pants man and thats been one of his main passions in life for the past 15+ years. Its going to take time for him to change his 'cocky jerk' nature. If he has lots of options, it could be a case of you take him for who he is on his terms, but this should not stop you from telling him that you expect different codes of behaviour now he's in a relationship. I get the impression the other women in his social circles that he's had sex with still enjoy his company, so that will reinforce his outlook that there's no need to change...women love him for who he is. I gather you have not mentioned to him how his bragging about his cock, is a bit crude & immature and getting a little tiring. I think you should. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I can accept that he's not still intimate with them. And unfortunately some of them are just now finding out about me. He made a public announcement on New Years day. One of the women was so upset she actually did cut him out of her life completely. Like the others, he was trying to keep her as a friend. In the end she felt betrayed. Because she was betrayed. This guy sounds like he's got cheater's blood in him. I'm concerned that one day, probably sooner than later, it will be YOU finding out about his new woman, long after he's been telling her she's "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 dude sounds like an immature tosser with no consideration of your feelings. Id expect this from a teeanger, not an adult...especially someone in their 30s. Id toss anyone for behavior like this. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 This guy sounds like a real Casanova! Do these women have any self-respect? "Oh, he can bang all 15 of us and use pick-up lines like I have a big $&%&...I just hope I get to be the lucky one in the end who he marries!" Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Next time, just say, "Poor thing - he can't get over the fact that my last guy was bigger. I should never have told him. But he is getting over the impotency thing, thank goodness!" Link to post Share on other sites
SomewhatExperienced Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Drop him quick. You've been dating him a year and exclusive for 6 months and he's still not done the "process" of breaking up with the multiple other women he's been sleeping with/dating? I'm not even going to be polite and use asterisks because I think this situation calls for it: HOLY ****ING ****, GIVE YOUR HEAD A ****ING SHAKE!!!!!! What the hell happened in your past that makes you think this guy is worth your breath? And then there's the fact that he publicly brags about the size of his penis, WHEN HE'S 33 YEARS OLD!!! That speaks for itself. And this is all coming from a 25 year old MALE who also happens to be well endowed but has NEVER publicly brought it up as I feel doing so would be below me. Edited January 12, 2012 by SomewhatExperienced Link to post Share on other sites
SomewhatExperienced Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 HOLY ****ING ****, GIVE YOUR HEAD A ****ING SHAKE!!!!!! I guess LoveShack automatically adds asterisks. Damn. Link to post Share on other sites
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