Author alexa137 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 2sunny- you be better for you to go back and read other posts concerning the mess up_ if you want! and I havent really played any games at all with this guy,I have told the truth , havent made anything up and havent lied I am NOT dating anyone and all the timeshe has asked me i have told him no which is true! i know my typing is bad but i didnt think it was that bad that ppl would misunderstand me!
Frank13 Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Why not just cut to the chase. Ask him if he is asking if you are dating someone because he wants to get back together. You seem to like to beat around the bush and waste time with this. First you ask why he is asking you "that question". Then he says "what question?". Then you don't respond for a while because you don't know what to say. Then again you are vague with him saying "the question from last week" and he replies "Oh". Hell. he may be thinking of something else he asked you. He very well be trying to reconcile but is afraid of you trashing his ego so he is trying to feel you out. It's like you both want the same thing but are afraid the other doesn't so you keep distancing yourselves with this. If you have decided to move on, why not just come out and say, "You keep asking me if I am dating. Is that because you want to give us another try?" Maybe even put yourself out there and tell him you would consider it. If he says "no", then you have your answer and cane move on, but at the rate you both are going, you are making sure that you never get back together.
Author alexa137 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 youre so right i am very scared of the response being negative! i guess thats why im not completely direct! but i guess if he texts me again i will have to just let it out and do it! because my ultimate dream is for him to ask me for another chance i desire and am in love with this man and cant go a day without thinking about him!!!!!!!!!
Author alexa137 Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 well I have came to the conclusion that he is the type of man who cannot express or show his feelings- for example a few days ago(the same day he asked questions) he told methat his son still asks about me and wonders if he can visit me etc. i responded that it was sweet ,hes so adorable, etc--- i made a comment saying that FYI-I miss spending time with you and your son no response about 3 hours ago I sent him a video(Hate that I love you) through tagged.com no response I cant deal withthat- I am a type of person who doesnt mind telling you how i feel, and thefact that he knows for months that i told him specifically- "no man can make me feel the way I feel when i am with you" which says alo IMO! if someone cant respond in some way to things i saw whether they are compliments or whatever, is really not the kind of person i want to be with I need a man to tell me things so im going on my date sat night
2sunny Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 The way he is avoiding participating is what makes me think he's dating someone else. When a man intends to participate - he ENGAGES with you - yet he does opposite - he avoids the interaction with you. He also may just like the ego feed you constantly send his way by continuing to send texts, videos etc. still - him not responding is his way of telling you with his actions - that he doesn't intend to make any effort for you! Stop contacting him - he's selfish and self serving... You ARE worth effort - and the RIGHT man will make effort for YOU! Then you will know how right he is - because you won't sit here wondering why the right guy won't interact. He's just not the right guy for you!
Author alexa137 Posted February 8, 2012 Author Posted February 8, 2012 ok so today HE texted me again the same questions?!? hi how are you what are you up to anything new? so what gives , its getting closer together now also, I mean if nothing was new 5 days ago would anything else be newer? lol! i mean seriously whats the point of all of this? i havent answered the last ? yet ugh!
Author alexa137 Posted February 8, 2012 Author Posted February 8, 2012 oh and new question(well a repeat) not dating anyone? OMG! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author alexa137 Posted February 8, 2012 Author Posted February 8, 2012 so i said , you asked me this question last week, so why you ask? his reply: just asking, no reason REALLY?
Author alexa137 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 so its making a little more sense now- got more messages , like so what you doing now, etc.., hes watching game, im watching game last text was:(from him): you should of came over and watched it with me SO WOW IM IN SHOCK! finally! getting somewhere with this dude! well, since its snowing and kinda late- im replied by saying, oh i wouldve like to, but i am already in my pajamas, maybe next time! he replied;ok I want to ask him to the movies this weekend, b/c my daughter will be out of town fri through sun and i dont want to be stuck home alone all weekend would llove to do dinner and a movie with a guy, but i dont have any potential men or dates for that matter lined up should i go for it? or no?
Frank13 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 i want to ask him to the movies this weekend, b/c my daughter will be out of town fri through sun and i dont want to be stuck home alone all weekend would llove to do dinner and a movie with a guy, but i dont have any potential men or dates for that matter lined up should i go for it? Or no? yes!!!!!!!!
Author alexa137 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 and so i did! he made a comment that I posted on tagged.com that i really wanted to see Safe house this weekend, and he said he did to, so i said, " do you want to see it together" and hesaid "sure!" YEA! he works this weekend so I said there is probably a late showing but that would be up to him and his last text was-" i will let you know! so now i begin the waiting game, but thank god its already thurs afternoon, so hopefully my dreams are starting to come true!
Frank13 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Yea!!! I am so happy you took the chance. Hopefully he won't back out. It looks like you both want to get together but each was in fear of being rejected by the other. Even when he answered "just asking, no reason", to your question of why he keeps asking if you are dating anyone, I think he was afraid of taking it further and being rejected. Keep us updated.
Author alexa137 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 hopefully thats the case! geesh! ive been trying to get him back for months! and I know he hasnt been having any luck in the dating situation, and I havent either, no one wants want i want and he does, at least thats what he says i will keep you posted
Author alexa137 Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 ok fri night came he didnt want to go to the movies but then made a comment: " I could come out that way"(he lives 15 mins away) so i was guessing he was trying to invite himself over- so I hurry and clean up a little and then he says he wouldnt want to drive back home and i told him i wouldnt expect him too(it was snowing and already going on 10pm) figured he could have my bed and i will take the couch-since he workedearly in the morning i told him he could bring his uniform over and go to work, so he said it would be awhile since he had to still make his lunch, so now it was goin on 10;45pm and i said well if not tonight then maybe tomm we can go to the movies and then hang out-so nows its 11pm and he says, " I wish you would come over here"- SMDH! I said you shouldve have asked me that earlier!(Im thinking youve been texting me for almost 3 hrs! so I didnt go ok so last nights scenerio: I start getting texts from him as soon as he got off work, asking me whats up etc. i was at the mall with my friend, he asks me if i want to come over, i asked him if he wanted to go to the movies and he said yea, but the weather is telling me different(it was like 15 degrees and very windy)so i told him i would let him know in a little bit, he kept asking me questions, and then when i got home, i did start getting ready to go over there, he asked me to bring beer, and movies( he said we could watch a movie there) yea right!i texted him at 9:50pm-"leaving in a few mins" so i get in my car, covered with ice, freezing outside! And it starts snowing like a blizzard! call my mom and she says im dumb i shouldnt go, blah blah blah, so im thinking to myself-i really shouldnt because im just getting used as his convenience and im setting myself up the get hurt again! so i turn around and call my best friend and start crying and crying, come home and cry and cry. And the worst part is HE didnt even text or call me to see why i didnt come or check to see if i was ok! unbelievable! and here it is 8am and still nothing from him!
Zahara Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I'm not surprised. A man who has consistently blown hot and cold. I was waiting to see how your weekend plans turned out after you posted. And true enough, he exhibited the same pattern. Someone who wants you doesn't push and pull and blow hot and cold. They are consistent in their actions in showing you what you mean to them.
Author alexa137 Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 yes and the worst part is he didnt even care to find out why i didnt come! i could have been wrapped around a pool! the weather it was snowing and windy! how can someone be so heartless and not care! its hurt so much i feel numb!
Zahara Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 You were too focused on his words and believing that his hesitation and uncertainty was just someone struggling to find their feelings. His actions were clear. When someone is unable to commit to you and has consistently treated you like an option, then most likely they will never treat you as their priority. This is probably what you truly need to move on. I am sure he will reappear with an explanation, and that's when he's ready to play the game with you again and not because he cares. If he was concerned and cared about you, he would have been burning the phone lines last night trying to find out how you are.
Author alexa137 Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 yea so sun at approx 2pm(smh) i get a text: so what happened last night i said" the weather it was cold windy and snowing!(remember he said he didnt want to go to the movies or get a drink because of the cold weather!) he replies: i didnt see that smdh! you really think im that dumb! yes i love him to death and no man can make me feel the way i feel when im with him but i jsut cant lower myself to go back to the games of friends with benefits, when he already broke my heart twice! heartless! but was really thinking he was gonna get some this weekend! there are many whores out there that will just want sex or whatever but not me! so i guess the chase for him is over! maybe he will realize something eventually who knows! but now i cant even keep tabs on him b/c he removed his profile from POF< which yes i know is a good thing! and i have deleted all my fake account profiles also, ues a good move! its so depressing and vday is tomm another yr alone( hmmm.that makes 41 yrs without a valentine
geegirl Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Alexa, you made the right decision. He waited that long to check on you? This was your wake up call. If it's any consolation, it's another year of me being alone and I'm hitting 41 in a few months, and will probably spend my birthday on a beach somewhere alone just as I will be spending V day! Sometimes it's way better than dealing with all the drama. It's actually more relaxing and fulfilling. Tomorrow doesn't have to be a day about lovers and couples. It can also be a day that you spend pampering and loving yourself. Do something nice, just for you.
CopingGal Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 yea so sun at approx 2pm(smh) i get a text: so what happened last night i said" the weather it was cold windy and snowing!(remember he said he didnt want to go to the movies or get a drink because of the cold weather!) he replies: i didnt see that smdh! you really think im that dumb! yes i love him to death and no man can make me feel the way i feel when im with him but i jsut cant lower myself to go back to the games of friends with benefits, when he already broke my heart twice! heartless! but was really thinking he was gonna get some this weekend! there are many whores out there that will just want sex or whatever but not me! so i guess the chase for him is over! maybe he will realize something eventually who knows! but now i cant even keep tabs on him b/c he removed his profile from POF< which yes i know is a good thing! and i have deleted all my fake account profiles also, ues a good move! its so depressing and vday is tomm another yr alone( hmmm.that makes 41 yrs without a valentine Be your own Valentine. Buy some Valentine's Day friendship cards and give one to yourself and the rest to friends, family, co-workers..etc. It will put a smile on their faces! Haave a picnic on the floor of your house with all your favorite food. Give a Vday card to a lonely neighbor, etc.
Frank13 Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 its so depressing and vday is tomm another yr alone( hmmm.that makes 41 yrs without a valentine I am so sorry Alexa, and sorry I encouraged you. I really thought he was interested in you two getting back together. I was actually looking forward to Vday alone this year. No drama and not having to do or buy anything for once, but found myself starting to feel depressed over it. I will be thinking of you and geegirl.
radiodarcy Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Be your own Valentine. Buy some Valentine's Day friendship cards and give one to yourself and the rest to friends, family, co-workers..etc. It will put a smile on their faces! Haave a picnic on the floor of your house with all your favorite food. Give a Vday card to a lonely neighbor, etc. these are great ideas! i'll be spending the evening eating leftover bday chocolates while watching a documentary on tupperware on pbs. believe it or not - -i'm actually looking forward to it alexa, look at it this way - - at least you don't have to spend this day wondering what he's up to and with whom. i'm 36 and have never had a valentine. it used to make me sad. now i'm sort of relieved. i would hate to be dating someone this time of year -- wondering if he's going to acknowledge me on this day and what it means if he does or doesn't. instead i just use it as a day to focus on me and appreciate the family and friends who are in my life on a daily basis.
Zahara Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 i'll be spending the evening eating leftover bday chocolates while watching a documentary on tupperware on pbs. believe it or not - -i'm actually looking forward to it Hehehe! Documentary on tupperware seems more appealing than the drama! I'm going to Dunkin Donuts after work and getting me that heart shaped double chocolate covered donut and having it with my delicious dinner while I watch The Office, season 5 DVD collection. I can't wait!
radiodarcy Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Hehehe! Documentary on tupperware seems more appealing than the drama! I'm going to Dunkin Donuts after work and getting me that heart shaped double chocolate covered donut and having it with my delicious dinner while I watch The Office, season 5 DVD collection. I can't wait! OMG - - i am so forgetting the left over chocolates and going for the donut!but yeah -- who needs drama when you have donuts and quality entertainment
Zahara Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 OMG - - i am so forgetting the left over chocolates and going for the donut!but yeah -- who needs drama when you have donuts and quality entertainment mmm...donuts! ~ Homer Simpson Enjoy Darcy!
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