zlatnapolja Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 A few days ago, my ex send me a message that his neighbour (45 years old, alcoholic, NOT attractive) said that I was hitting on him a few months ago when my ex I where still together. He said that I was playing with my shirt, and giving him certain looks. It's not the first time something stupid like this has happend to me (or girlfriends of mine) and I'm starting to get the feeling that men read way more into a friendly smile than girls do. When I smile at someone or if I talk to them it's because I'm friendly or I enjoy the conversation. When I adjust my shirt, it's because I feel like adjusting my shirt, when I look at someone while he/she is talking to me it's because thats polite. Tell me guys, when do you feel like a girl is hitting on you or flirting with you?
Dust Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 A few days ago, my ex send me a message that his neighbour (45 years old, alcoholic, NOT attractive) said that I was hitting on him a few months ago when my ex I where still together. He said that I was playing with my shirt, and giving him certain looks. It's not the first time something stupid like this has happend to me (or girlfriends of mine) and I'm starting to get the feeling that men read way more into a friendly smile than girls do. When I smile at someone or if I talk to them it's because I'm friendly or I enjoy the conversation. When I adjust my shirt, it's because I feel like adjusting my shirt, when I look at someone while he/she is talking to me it's because thats polite. Tell me guys, when do you feel like a girl is hitting on you or flirting with you? How old and hot are you? The guy is well on his way to being a dirty old man plus he's an alcoholic acording to you. That means he might have dreamt the entire thing one night and think its real. The guy is full of crap even if it went down like he says. WTF is a certain look. I'm not a loser who goes around making up stories of how a girl smiled at me so she must want to suck my balls. Bottom line I'll read into a girl farting if I like her... Oh she must have had gas because she's nervouse around me cause she wants me. But I know from experience many men are dilusional when it comes to women. I don't even trust when they say they had sex with a hot women let a lone when they said one was looking at them. If I'm out with a friend and he says a girl was looking at him I always say "no she was looking at me!"
carhill Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Tell me guys, when do you feel like a girl is hitting on you or flirting with you? Some examples, most obvious first: Touching me in any way a man would not touch me, including or not including the genital area. Making obvious or suggestive sexual comments. Forward or sexual body language. A woman smiling at me or twirling her hair or adjusting her clothes or making small talk doesn't phase me in the least. That's just being friendly. Those conclusions are the result of decades of interaction and occasional mis-interpretation of such behaviors. I'll use the example of one of my favorite acting couples who were married for awhile, both now departed, to illustrate some levels. The light kiss and the thrust of the breast That's pretty obvious. The open-eyed steady gaze, pouty lower lip and chest-out body posture Less obvious but a real good non-verbal lead-in potential, especially when she appears to only 'have eyes' for me, and her posture changes for other men. I've been with some pretty beautiful women over the decades as friends and it's clearly evident when they're ramping up the flirtation and suggestive body language to catch and keep a man's attention versus how they were with me as a friend. I've also experienced some female friends who happened to be married who changed their behaviors during our friendship to a more sexually aggressive and flirtatious demeanor and observed the specific change in 'signals'. Accept that the alcoholic neighbor is the owner of boorish behavior. Even if you were 'flirting' with him, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. He is what he is.
Author zlatnapolja Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 But I know from experience many men are dilusional when it comes to women. I don't even trust when they say they had sex with a hot women let a lone when they said one was looking at them. If I'm out with a friend and he says a girl was looking at him I always say "no she was looking at me!" hahahahaha! LMAO:D I'm 21 years old, and I wouldnt consider myself to be hot. as a matter a fact my hands and feet are cold all the time:p
Author zlatnapolja Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Some examples, most obvious first: Touching me in any way a man would not touch me, including or not including the genital area. Making obvious or suggestive sexual comments. Forward or sexual body language. A woman smiling at me or twirling her hair or adjusting her clothes or making small talk doesn't phase me in the least. That's just being friendly. Those conclusions are the result of decades of interaction and occasional mis-interpretation of such behaviors. I'll use the example of one of my favorite acting couples who were married for awhile, both now departed, to illustrate some levels. The light kiss and the thrust of the breast That's pretty obvious. The open-eyed steady gaze, pouty lower lip and chest-out body posture Less obvious but a real good non-verbal lead-in potential, especially when she appears to only 'have eyes' for me, and her posture changes for other men. I've been with some pretty beautiful women over the decades as friends and it's clearly evident when they're ramping up the flirtation and suggestive body language to catch and keep a man's attention versus how they were with me as a friend. I've also experienced some female friends who happened to be married who changed their behaviors during our friendship to a more sexually aggressive and flirtatious demeanor and observed the specific change in 'signals'. Accept that the alcoholic neighbor is the owner of boorish behavior. Even if you were 'flirting' with him, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. He is what he is. Okay those are some clear examples. Though I wouldnt read much into the second one actually:p I know this neighbourguy simply has no class, style, manners etc. But it's actually not the first time something like this has happend, which is the reason why I asked. I want to make people feel comfertable, and be friendly at all times. I think thats often misinterpreted. I dont want to give wrong signals to men. Besides I'm not easily attracted to men. But even my mom has said that she thinks I sometimes give signals to men (smiling to often etc). I want to know what it is exactly that I have to change.
Chii Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I want to make people feel comfertable, and be friendly at all times. I think thats often misinterpreted. Yeah, I'd say 100% of the time the friendliness from women is always misinterpreted.
Dust Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 hahahahaha! LMAO:D I'm 21 years old, and I wouldnt consider myself to be hot. as a matter a fact my hands and feet are cold all the time:p How cute a nice little cold footed warm breated 21 year old. If I was your ex I would have told that drunkard to watch what he says to me because he wouldn't like me when I'm angry. You're ex is a loser to even repeat this to you with any other tone then to make fun of the guy saying it.
jobaba Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 A few days ago, my ex send me a message that his neighbour (45 years old, alcoholic, NOT attractive) said that I was hitting on him a few months ago when my ex I where still together. He said that I was playing with my shirt, and giving him certain looks. It's not the first time something stupid like this has happend to me (or girlfriends of mine) and I'm starting to get the feeling that men read way more into a friendly smile than girls do. When I smile at someone or if I talk to them it's because I'm friendly or I enjoy the conversation. When I adjust my shirt, it's because I feel like adjusting my shirt, when I look at someone while he/she is talking to me it's because thats polite. Tell me guys, when do you feel like a girl is hitting on you or flirting with you? Nothing ever, never. I have seen the most overtly flirty signals in the book turn into rejection. The only thing I will take away from flirty signals from a woman in the future is that I might have an ever so slightly higher chance of getting a yes than from a woman who has been completely platonic or professional with me.
carhill Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 IMO, be your natural self and leave them to be responsible for themselves. I don't believe there is a step by step guide that will work in all instances. I've run into a lot of young ladies like yourself and can understand and empathize with how your innocent intentions might be misinterpreted. For some men, an attractive young lady simply looking at him briefly is all he needs. You can't control that. Just keep to your boundaries and let those signals out and eventually the message will become pervasive. There will always be 'dirty old men'. I've known more than a few, including a few who abused and molested. Unfortunately, it's part of the human experience, something I hope you have and can avoid.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 For me it's all about the eyes, as they almost always tell the truth. Kelly Mcgillis
colliejoanie Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 UGh! This takes me back. I had gone to some friend's party.....maybe 8 years ago. They were married with children and were having a bonfire. One of their friends, whom I'd never met was there, and we completely hit it off. Andy was his name. Andy asked me to his house for a cook out the following weekend. At the last minute my friends had to cancel, so it was me.....@ Andy's house....with Andy and his friends whom I'd never met. One of his neighbors was this old guy who liked my turquiose jewelry. It's a hobby of mine (finding the stones and making the jewelry), so of course, I talked to him. Andy was out and about socializing...I'd venture off the deck and say hi to him every so often, and he'd introduce me to his friends, and they would go back to whatever in depth conversation they had been....... but after HOURS of talking to this old guy, and feeling completely awkward I finally said I needed to go home. Cold hug and a "see you later". He told my friends that it weirded him out that I was talking to his crack head neighbor who was obviously hitting on me, and I was obviously eating it up!! WHAT????????
Professor X Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I want to make people feel comfertable, and be friendly at all times. Haha, the irony.
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