xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I notice one thing about guys is that the sooner I give out my number, the more liklihood they never call. I know this because the last few guys who I've given out my number to, they either missplace it or I never heard a peep from them again. These are also the same kind of guys looking to date long term. Why is that guys? I remember when I used to be very cautious about giving out my digits and it took alot of convincing for guys to even get my number. Subsequently, since becoming a more self-assertive woman ( in regards to avoiding the need for time wasting and bull****) I've taken more intiative to contacting guys (OLD) or being the first one to initiate phone calls. I don't get it, am I aggressive? I don't think I'm needy or anything but is giving out my number early synonymous with sleeping on the first date? Shouldn't you be flattered you don't have to chase just to get my contact? I'm not saying I'm doing you guys a favor but I'm being receptive and showing you that I'm open to your advances. I just don't understand men.
Dust Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 The more aggressive you are the more you will get rejected. Simple as that. The flip side is the more oportunity you create for yourself. Girls have hit on me and I have rejected them. I have also dated girls who hit on me. If you sit back and wait for some one else to make all the moves of course you will get rejected less then if you msg some guy who may/or may not like you. The guys who are going to hit on you will still hit on you, and the guys you're taking the initiative with may or may not work out. Obviously a higher likely hood of being rejected by a guy you msg then a guy who msged you. If you msg a guy who would have msged you but didn't see you or see your page or what ever you're not going to screw it up by msging him first. You understand men better then you think. I actually think you'd make a better man then a few guys who post here if we reprogramed them with your woman brain... Bottom line relax cutie
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 10, 2012 Author Posted January 10, 2012 The more aggressive you are the more you will get rejected. Simple as that. The flip side is the more oportunity you create for yourself. Girls have hit on me and I have rejected them. I have also dated girls who hit on me. If you sit back and wait for some one else to make all the moves of course you will get rejected less then if you msg some guy who may/or may not like you. The guys who are going to hit on you will still hit on you, and the guys you're taking the initiative with may or may not work out. Obviously a higher likely hood of being rejected by a guy you msg then a guy who msged you. If you msg a guy who would have msged you but didn't see you or see your page or what ever you're not going to screw it up by msging him first. You understand men better then you think. I actually think you'd make a better man then a few guys who post here if we reprogramed them with your woman brain... Bottom line relax cutie Time for a sex change! No but seriously, I just would prefer not to be the man in a relationship, but I do have a take charge personality. I was the dominant person in my last relationship. I didn't like it, even though my ex had no problem handing me the rein.
Casablanca Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Just go with the flow, if you're interested, give out the number, if he is interested he'll call you...if he wasnt interested enough to call you b/c you gave out the number "too soon" he wouldnt have called you if you waited a little bit longer
Art_Critic Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I think after a few contacts is when you should give your number.. or when they ask for it. If you give it on the first contact then you might be feeling the rejection but in reality they weren't interested. A million years ago there was this girl I met OLD, she gave me her number after 1-2 emails and I called her where after a few mins of conversation she then said she wanted to meet in an hour or 2 at some restaurant a few miles from my house... this all happened in less than an hour... Of course it freaked me out, blocked and deleted... So you can give your number too early but honestly if the conversation isn't leading up to them asking for it then you shouldn't just give it to them unless you feel they are just shy or something like that Dating is hit and miss... don't let the chumps out there ruin it for you..
turt Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 You could always ask for their number. ^This would be the easiest way to find if they're interested. In most cases, they won't call you back if they're not interested. I would call you if I found you attractive or we share a similar interest. You also have to remember that may not be single... I think you'll have way more success if you go after who you want to date.
NYC-BigKat Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I notice one thing about guys is that the sooner I give out my number, the more liklihood they never call. I know this because the last few guys who I've given out my number to, they either missplace it or I never heard a peep from them again. These are also the same kind of guys looking to date long term. Why is that guys? I remember when I used to be very cautious about giving out my digits and it took alot of convincing for guys to even get my number. Subsequently, since becoming a more self-assertive woman ( in regards to avoiding the need for time wasting and bull****) I've taken more intiative to contacting guys (OLD) or being the first one to initiate phone calls. I don't get it, am I aggressive? I don't think I'm needy or anything but is giving out my number early synonymous with sleeping on the first date? Shouldn't you be flattered you don't have to chase just to get my contact? I'm not saying I'm doing you guys a favor but I'm being receptive and showing you that I'm open to your advances. I just don't understand men. Your way of doing things is what I always wanted & looked for but its just so hard to find now. I get mostly girls making excuses not to give me their # or never answer the phone when I call/leave a msg. I'm really impressed that you'r not like this & we're from the same city . Are u in your 20s?
jobaba Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I notice one thing about guys is that the sooner I give out my number, the more liklihood they never call. I know this because the last few guys who I've given out my number to, they either missplace it or I never heard a peep from them again. These are also the same kind of guys looking to date long term. Why is that guys? I remember when I used to be very cautious about giving out my digits and it took alot of convincing for guys to even get my number. Subsequently, since becoming a more self-assertive woman ( in regards to avoiding the need for time wasting and bull****) I've taken more intiative to contacting guys (OLD) or being the first one to initiate phone calls. I don't get it, am I aggressive? I don't think I'm needy or anything but is giving out my number early synonymous with sleeping on the first date? Shouldn't you be flattered you don't have to chase just to get my contact? I'm not saying I'm doing you guys a favor but I'm being receptive and showing you that I'm open to your advances. I just don't understand men. If you do the NYC online dating or bar and club scene, it's gonna be shallow, materialistic, and ugly. And the desirable guys will have multiple women. It's gonna be game playing the whole way. You sound like you're in your young 20s. I'm probably ~ 10 years older than you and none of my friends ended up marrying someone they met in the bar/club scene. Zero. Online it's maybe two. I've lived in Jersey City, Queens, Manhattan, and Brooklyn. If you really want a relationship, go through your friends or social networks.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I notice one thing about guys is that the sooner I give out my number, the more liklihood they never call. I know this because the last few guys who I've given out my number to, they either missplace it or I never heard a peep from them again. These are also the same kind of guys looking to date long term. Why is that guys? I remember when I used to be very cautious about giving out my digits and it took alot of convincing for guys to even get my number. Subsequently, since becoming a more self-assertive woman ( in regards to avoiding the need for time wasting and bull****) I've taken more intiative to contacting guys (OLD) or being the first one to initiate phone calls. I don't get it, am I aggressive? I don't think I'm needy or anything but is giving out my number early synonymous with sleeping on the first date? Shouldn't you be flattered you don't have to chase just to get my contact? I'm not saying I'm doing you guys a favor but I'm being receptive and showing you that I'm open to your advances. I just don't understand men. I have one single answer to all the bolded statements: They are not that into you. I have a few numbers on my list right now. Some I never call, some I call a lot. The ones I don't call... I'm really not into them anymore for one reason or another, sometimes I don't even know why I am not that into them. I feel it's a waste of time to call. If I am really into a girl and she gives out her number very early, I'd be super happy.
Shaun-Dro Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 If you do the NYC online dating or bar and club scene, it's gonna be shallow, materialistic, and ugly. And the desirable guys will have multiple women. It's gonna be game playing the whole way. You sound like you're in your young 20s. I'm probably ~ 10 years older than you and none of my friends ended up marrying someone they met in the bar/club scene. Zero. Online it's maybe two. I've lived in Jersey City, Queens, Manhattan, and Brooklyn. If you really want a relationship, go through your friends or social networks. That's true. The NYC dating scene has to be the worst on the planet! You either belong to some social group where you can go out and mingle every weekend or be stuck in a timeless circle if you're a loner. And it's because the women in this city make it that way.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Your way of doing things is what I always wanted & looked for but its just so hard to find now. I get mostly girls making excuses not to give me their # or never answer the phone when I call/leave a msg. I'm really impressed that you'r not like this & we're from the same city . Are u in your 20s? I'm 22. Does my age have to do with anything?
jobaba Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I'm 22. Does my age have to do with anything? Wow you're a puppy! I wouldn't even worry about finding a relationship if I were your age and living in NY. Most of the guys your age aren't. I'd be trying to have some fun and be hanging out with lots of friends.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Wow you're a puppy! I wouldn't even worry about finding a relationship if I were your age and living in NY. Most of the guys your age aren't. I'd be trying to have some fun and be hanging out with lots of friends. I have a social life and I do hang out with my friends, but I also want to experience everything a relationship has to offer. I did the whole game playing thing when I was 18-20, really got tired of it. Just want something a little settled down. Sometimes it's okay to just meet someone and enjoy a movie from time to time. And yes I am a puppy!
Fondue Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Oh hey, may I have your number, maybe we can talk about this issue in more detail? Hhahahaha, anyway, I guess when you're more willing to give out your number, you're not exactly weeding out the dudes who are genuinely into you. You said it yourself, when guys had to pry the digits out of you, then you were getting called back. But if you're just nonchalantly giving it away to more dudes, you're also increasing the likelihood of giving it someone who isn't fully "in it," you know what I mean? This makes sense in my head, not sure if I made it sound that way written out. Hope that helps!
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