insaneinthebrain Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 So .. is it possible for ex's to be friends ? Of course some situations just dont merit it.. ie cheating, abuse ... but what if the break up is mutual , and friendly. is a friendship possible. what if there was a friendship that turned into romance.... and the relationship ends well.. is a freindship still possible.. Do current SO have the right to make an issue of being friends or aquintances with ex's.... DISCUSS!!! ..
oldguy Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Speaking from personal experience, yes. I have a life long friend that I've known since we where quite young. When we were in our teens & later in our early twenties we dated & where a couple but for a variety of reasons it never worked out but we've have remained friends to this day & in fact I'm friends with her husband & family & she is friends with my wife & family. So, yes, it's possible to be friends with an ex.
BoredAgain Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 It's definitely possible, especially in the situation you described where there were years of friendship before the relationship. Still, I'd bet that there almost always needs to be a period of distance between the two people after the breakup.
oldguy Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Your right, there was a time we where distant after both break ups.
Ginger Beer Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Up until a couple of years ago I was friends with a girl I had had a brief relationship with, the friendship lasted around 7 years and we no longer speak but this isn't because of anything to do with the relationship. We split on good terms but I was very young then so not really comparable to a full adult relationship.
Philosoraptor Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 It's possible if both people have found peace and forgiveness. What usually stops this from happening is that one or both parties continue to hold onto anger or hard feelings.
Emilia Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Yes absolutely. I'm close friend to one ex I have known for almost 20 years now, others I have sporadic contact with on facebook, etc. I think for a healthy, healed person knowing that their relationship/connection/love meant something to the other person goes a long way. I'm fond of them and I want them to know that.
Chi townD Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 In my opinion, it can happen over a peroid of time when both parties have lost those romantic feelings for each other. Any sooner, and I think that you'll screw up a friendship.
radiodarcy Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 it's possible as long as there are no lingering feelings on either side. in my case - - i tried contacting the ex after 7 months of NC; thinking i was ready to be friends again. but he was a bit frosty and didn't seem to be interested; so i let it drop. well a few weeks ago he contacted me out of the blue and told me that his girlfriend is pregnant with his child and due in may. needless to say i was stunned. but before i had a chance to recover he started flirting with me like crazy. which just confused me even more. needless to say -- i realized this was not the best climate to re-ignite a friendship; so i'm back to NC.
Kamila Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I had a friendship that turned into a passionate romance, damn those were the days. Unfortunately we split after 2 years because we had other goals in life. I saw that person last year and visited his house and his current girlfriend. He was uncomfortable around me. I could tell. And we were broken up for years already. We always wanted to revert in being just friends, but it wasn't possible after our last encounter. There was just too much stuff in the air. And not to mention the current girlfriend. So I did a disappearing act, and he knows why. Phew, we dodged that bullet. As for my current ex-boyfriend who has a new girlfriend, well, there was still stuff in the air 1.5 years ago, so better run. He wanted to stay friends, but I didn't believe one second he didn't still have feelings for me. So sadly for me, I can't stay friends with ex's. Maybe one day ...
Ajax Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I received Christmas cards from two of my exes (not the most recent one). One of them is married now and the other has a boyfriend, but we still see each other at social events and she helped me quite a bit while I was doing research for my Master's project. We get along fine when we see each other, so it's possible. On the other hand, I can't imagine ever being on good terms with my last ex. Her behavior and treatment towards me just left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and very little respect for her.
smudge21 Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I would love to be friends with my current ex as I do miss her, but right now, that's impossible due to my feelings. I am friends with other ex's, some of which even ended badly, but over time, you just move on and forgive and forget. I do believe that aslong as there's no emotions on either side, then both parties can be friends, but so many of us think we want to be friends that we fool ourselves and only end up getting more hurt. Only once you're healed can you ever be friends... only when the day comes that you no longer want to be with your ex is the day you can be friends with them.
carhill Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 So .. is it possible for ex's to be friends ? Sure, though IME, if anything, it's more common to be acquaintances, at least in my age demographic and social circle. As an example, my exW and I are acquaintances, the difference between that and being friends is that I haven't met her now BF of two years nor have I or they broken bread at each other's homes. We're cordial and have occasional contact but that's it. My best friend and his wife have interacted with her more and I still consider them to be 'friends'.
chados Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 if one wants the other back no.. but if theres no feelings whatsoever, and there is no jealousness from any of you yes. but the problem is that if you do get a new girl/boyfriend they might not like that youre ex is around. me for instance could never hang out with my ex, well maybe years after.. but right now i wouldnt like to see her with someone else even though i dont want her back. im not a jealous guy, but id probably be if i would see her new boyfriend everyday, especially if i dont have a girlfriend at the same time.. not to mention that its akward to talk with her new guy if youre still single yourself and also the other way around.
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