hechicera Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Pls see my previous threads for more detail... After this guy being MIA for a while, I sent him a funny msg and then deleted him from all my contacts... I got ready to move on and then he reappeared (he must have found my msg really funny )... For a week we tried to hang out but we are both quite busy and it's hard for us to find time, it happened on both ends... Until finally he came over... Don't need to give much detail but we hooked up like we Both were expecting and in my end it was great... Afterwards we spent about an hr taking a shower together and talking... We tried to get together again later that week and again it didn't work out, the conversation ending him saying that he was just too busy and that he would see me in a few days... I didn't reply and haven't heard back for 2 weeks... I know I shouldn't make a big deal of anything since is very clear that we are just using each other for sex, even though I never thought I would be that girl, I really like him and the worst part of it is that I know things about him that he would never imagine I do and that's the only reason I agreed to meet him (I did my homework prior to meeting him IRL and found out good things about him). I know I'm playing with fire here, but I'm ok with having a FB situation with him since I am single, I don't like anybody else and I feel terribly attracted to this guy... But I don't want to be the one initiating stuff, specially after reading a Few posts here. Also it does get confusing sometimes, since I don't ask him any personal questions (some I already know but he doesn't know that) though he ask me personal questions and there was something he asked the first time we Met that I didnt give any importance whatsoever because it was an "after hook up" conversation, but then he asked me again the next time, I didn't even know what to say, all I thought was "I didn't take it seriously since I didn't know It was serious" and again, I didn't take it serious the next time. Both times have been after hooking up, should I have taken it seriously? I probably sound very confused, probably because I am... Sometimes I feel I can deal with this since I've been through a lot and have become to be very mature about this topic, but I am afraid that the most likely outcome from this is me getting hurt, and yet I'm ok with keep going. What do you guys think? I do want a lasting LTR in the future, I wanna remarry and have more kids, but for now I feel this is something I have to experiment before I commit again since my last time was a complete disaster. Thanks fr reading!
Scottdmw Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 He is almost certainly “busy” because he has other women that he’s either doing the same thing with or actually having a relationship with. The odds are about 99% that he will use you for sex as long as you let him, that you will never, ever have a relationship with him, that you will be hurt and he won't, and that while you are wasting time with him you will not be available to find another relationship. Human sexuality, hormones, etc. are such that once a woman sleeps with a man she is close to being biologically programmed to trust him more than he deserves. Some women can “get past that”-- usually as a result of having been hurt so many times that they can't feel much of anything anymore, but that doesn't mean you can if you are not very "experienced" at this. I can't say it any more clearly. You know perfectly well you're playing with fire and you're going to get hurt here. It's a bad idea.
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