Janesays Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I thought you were talking about a trend rather than a one-off It is a trend. I actually started a thread about it awhile ago.
LexiB Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 It is a trend. I actually started a thread about it awhile ago. How picky are you? I'm sure you're a very desirable person, but I don't know anyone who's able to consistently find people that they click with on that level so quickly. Where are you meeting these amazing men (and please ship some to NY )?? Conversely, I think my trend of going 3+ years in between is too long of a gap. I've been told I'm too picky before, but I honestly don't know how to broaden my options and still be true to myself. :-/
Janesays Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 How picky are you? I'm sure you're a very desirable person, but I don't know anyone who's able to consistently find people that they click with on that level so quickly. Where are you meeting these amazing men (and please ship some to NY )?? Hmm, I don't know. I usually go for nice as a number one priority. Smart is a number 2. Everything else is just icing. Would you consider that too picky or not picky enough?
LexiB Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Hmm, I don't know. I usually go for nice as a number one priority. Smart is a number 2. Everything else is just icing. Would you consider that too picky or not picky enough? No such thing as "not picky enough" unless you're dating an abuser or an *sshole. In every other case, whatever works for you, works for you. But if those really are your only requirements in finding a partner, and everything else is merely icing, 1) I'm surprised it even takes you 8 months to find someone new & 2) (and this is my point really), I'd say you've been blessed to have such a simplistic approach to dating. I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflecting lately and analyzing why I'm perpetually single. I meet men often enough, date often enough, get told I’m beautiful/sweet/funny, etc., etc. often enough and as I wrote upthread, have a bunch of "almosts" that for one reason or another burn out. BUT, I swear, it's like lightening striking for me to meet someone that I'm attracted to and click with enough to want to commit to – and of course, for that desire to be mutual. The core of what I’m looking for is more than yours, yes, but there’s nothing extra that I wouldn’t be willing to compromise on if I met someone who was worth it. Your quick turn-around time between relationships is making me think I should approach dating with a blanker canvas and have the guy add to it, rather than the other way around but I just don’t know how to go about doing that in a sincere way. Anyway, sorry for the rant. Just that my rate of being in a relationship is starting to mimick leap year, and as I get “older” it’s becoming somewhat of a cause for concern...
Titania22 Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 I enjoyed your post LexiB. I know I am too fussy. But also I think I have a bad approach to choosing in general, and most likely also set off lots of misconceptions in the minds of men. So I am thinking I need to change my whole thought process and attitude first, and then hopefully that will lead me to give off a loving relationship vibe. I really get the feeling that when i do get attention from men, it's because they think I will be easy. And I think men who would be interested in relationships stay away from me for the same reason. But just not being sexy doesn't work, because then I get completely ignored. So I think the problem is the vibe I give off.
runner Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 Just wondering because I'm getting kind of antsy. My last real boyfriend and I ended in May 2010, and I've not had a real, lasting boyfriend since then. (I've been briefly involved with four different people since then, mind you -- a couple with good potential even -- but all were near-misses that did not make it past two months.) A male friend of mine was saying that, for him, it's usually two years between serious relationships. What about you? Roughly the same? yea roughly the same. couple years in between, give or take. and several dates in between. heidi ho hum.
Author Jane2011 Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Enjoyed your post, too, LexiB. I think I'm pretty well balanced between 'picky' and also open to different types. That may be why I've had plenty of near misses without having a new date every month or anything borderline-indiscriminate like that. In 20 months since I had my big break-up, there have been four guys I've been interested in, suggesting I like someone new every five months. That's not too bad, I don't think. (And that's not saying that I think the guy is great long-term relationship material for me, just that I'm attracted at all). Two of the four guys I mentioned...were too young for me; I never considered them serious prospects. So if I'm only counting serious prospects, maybe one every ten months or so. I do have a few "types" that I'm into, but I try to be open...
Woggle Posted January 11, 2012 Posted January 11, 2012 The longest was three years between marriages.
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