LilMissMovinOn Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 In the words of a dear friend, 'it takes a lot of crap to grow a beautiful rose' (well actually he uses a worse word than crap, starting with 'sh' but I'm trying to learn to curb my swearing as I know it sounds terrible & is most unladylike, however, I digress...) In feeling very down today it occurred to me to make a list of things I am grateful for to help me put things into perspective. So, if yr a B.S, W.S, A.P, or ex of any of these, or a combination of them even, I invite people to share here. What are you grateful for in light of yr experience as relevent to the OM/OW topic? Here's mine for today.. 1. I am alive & too sensible to allow myself to do anything even more stupid than what I have already done 2. I have a small but caring & compassionate circle of friends& family who are literally carrying me through everything which is going on in my life right now, including learning I had been an OW & the fallout from this. 3. I am ok financially & not homeless. 4. I have maintained N.C even though unsolicited emails frm xWP (wayward person unmarried) have triggered me big time... That's my bit for today.
MissBee Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I'm glad my exAP came back around years after the A was over...proving to be the proverbial leopard with unchanged spots. I have talked about him here and compared him to an ex of mine and some MM I hear about, I thought he wasn't so bad....but I've gotten to realize HE IS just as bad. I think I didn't realize the full extent of how messed up he is until this time around when I got to see him with fresh eyes. I think that I had some illusions about him and this time I saw the disappointing truth that he was selfish, emotionally unavailable, lying and still willing to cheat and had NO intention of doing what's best for me, but only himself...and he has ALWAYS been that way. It wasn't a special circumstance...and a unique connection....it was cheap and self-centered. He may care about me...but not more than himself and surely he doesn't respect the woman he is involved with and it was just a bad situation in sum total. This is good for me to know, as it makes me even more confident that I would NEVER EVER do something like that again and I got to see a lot I was blind to before and realize how much I have grown; as what I mistook for love before, is now plain and clear to me that it is selfishness and issues and there is NO reason to invest my time and emotions on a situation like that. It's very freeing. Seeing what love is not and how uncomfortable that feels makes me adamant and aware for the future. I'm also glad it happened to me at a young age, so I can live the better part of my life without romanticizing A's and just working on good relationship skills and myself...versus later on in life. Edited January 9, 2012 by MissBee
Elizabeth Southerns Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 So, if yr a B.S, W.S, A.P, or ex of any of these, or a combination of them even, I invite people to share here. What are you grateful for in light of yr experience as relevent to the OM/OW topic? I am grateful that I learned to love, to cherish and be cherished by someone who loved me fully. I am grateful that our love overcame all obstacles, allowing us to be together permanently. I am grateful that our life together continues to get better and better. I am grateful that we had the resilience and courage to ignore the naysayers and to believe in our love and our future. I am grateful for the support of friends and family, during the A, during the transition and during our married life together. I am grateful for the love of my husband and his enriching presence in my life every day. :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:
Author LilMissMovinOn Posted January 9, 2012 Author Posted January 9, 2012 You have amazing insight MsBee. I too realised dikwad (as I call him) was not all he seemed all those yrs ago. Long story but mine's 'spots' were there only I didn't discover them until our involvement this time around. U sound so far along yr journey. I hope I can get to where u r one day. And good luck to you Southern. I don't 'approve' of A's as such but each person's sitch is different & if yrs worked out & yr happy that's what matters. As for me, I'm also glad I deleted dikwads unsolicited emails containing a new contact number for him this week. I know I'd have caved & rung by now if I hadn't & I DONT want to do tht...
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