Emilia Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 So, how about it? How many of you gals really do think this way? That is ... rule a man as in or out within the first moments of meeting him based on physical attraction. I would like to get a representative headcount for my own purposes... I recognise my type very quickly. I allowed to talk myself into dating men I knew I wasn't that attracted to and it always turned out to be bad news. Now I don't bother. Attraction doesn't mean physical looks only, it's the way he carries himself. That's something that can be assessed very quickly as soon as he opens his mouth to introduce himself. Guess that means it could be a whole 2 minutes rather than just a few seconds.
Emilia Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 My experience is that women who understand what they are attracted to usually end up happy. Women who just rely on that "spark" or gut feelings... usually end up hurting everybody including themselves. You seem to speak for women a lot - considering you are a man. I know what I'm attracted to and it isn't just physical, it's part of his personality too. I'm not interested if there is no spark. Life is too short.
Imajerk17 Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 This is an interesting thread. Especially because women seem to be the ones who decide whether there will be a second date, and they feel attraction for reasons that don't make sense to us as guys. The women here are being honest and giving us some great insight. Let's not judge them for this.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 This is an interesting thread. Especially because women seem to be the ones who decide whether there will be a second date, and they feel attraction for reasons that don't make sense to us as guys. The women here are being honest and giving us some great insight. Let's not judge them for this. It depends greatly on the mans capabilities as well. If she's attracted to you and into you from the get go because you're an attractive guy overall or at least to them then you're already in the favorable zone. However If she's indifferent to your looks or just finds you cute in your own little way you may be able to persuade to think differently of you with your charm, personality, genuine qualities. Which means she could become very interested in you romantically as the overall picture of you changes in her eyes. If you're an unattractive guy though, you need to make an impact through personality and other qualities as much as possible before you meet this person so that they do not ride you off on the superficial level...you need to be able to change their perception of you so they don't see your ugly face and troll like body as the only factors like if they met you at a bar. The level of lee-way you have greatly depends on the woman though, some are willing to bend more than others. From my experience I've ended up with women less attractive because of their personality and who they were, it changed how I saw them and other people would be like hmmm...what are you doing with her? of course until they met her and go to know her.
ditzchic Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Attraction is a three headed beast for most women. There is physical, emotional/spiritual and intellectual attraction. Physical is obviously the first and easiest one gauged and most of us know within a minute if we find a man physically attractive. The other two take a bit of figuring out. I've met men who I was extremely physically attracted to and that's how they got their foot in the door but once I got to know them they did nothing for me in the other two areas and I lost interest. I've also met guys who I weren't very attracted to physically but we clicked on one of the other levels so I gave them their shot. The latter type of guy is usually the one that grows on you physically after you start to realize how awesome their personalities are.
Author jobaba Posted January 9, 2012 Author Posted January 9, 2012 If there isn't any "spark" within the first few moments, it will never happen. But I disagree that it's just physical attraction. There's alot more that goes into it than that. I'm teaching myself to be less judgemental towards others and their attitudes towards dating and other people in general, but don't delude yourself into thinking that the attraction that happens when you meet a person for 30 seconds or even 5 minutes is a deep connection. It's purely superficial with maybe a dash of confidence and bravado thrown in.
Emilia Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 I'm teaching myself to be less judgemental towards others and their attitudes towards dating and other people in general, but don't delude yourself into thinking that the attraction that happens when you meet a person for 30 seconds or even 5 minutes is a deep connection. It's purely superficial with maybe a dash of confidence and bravado thrown in. Nobody is saying it's a connection. The spark is the sexual interest that makes you pick a particular person for further interaction and connection-building. It allows you to choose who the next (hopefully mutual) love interest should be, that's all.
Recommended Posts