ZimboGon Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Just curious. My ex and i had an interesting relationship, but she wanted to see other people and left me for another guy. However, i'm a pretty stubborn guy. I cared about her quite a bit, so i let her see that relationship through and it ended after two months. Point being, she and i have started talking again. I'm very playful and confident about it, but she at times is very cold and confused, yet at other times she says things that just... confuse me. She lacks interest sometimes, but then she makes comments about caring about me and for me not to let her go. I'm pretty sure she's confused about what she wants, so she may be keeping me around as security while she figures out what she wants and tries out other guys. I mean, i'm perfectly cool with that. She was a great girlfriend, and if she needs to learn some life lessons then fine. But of course, since we broke up i took a pretty big hit to my trust with her. I'm just curious, if girls have the capacity to do that and lead you on, are they ever really worth it to be with? She WAS when we dated, but i'm not sure its worth pursuing if that means she's likely to up and leave again, if this is a sign of that. I know she does genuinely care about me, though.
carhill Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 IME with that type, they disappear once it's clear they don't 'have' you anymore. Otherwise, puppet on a string. If one likes being a puppet and getting taken out of the box once in awhile and played with, there ya go.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Why go out with a woman who is playing games? She dumped you cold and now you seem desperate to get back with her. Why?
Philosoraptor Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Refuse to play games and refuse to be an option. As you know this girl is very immature and is unable to make any solid decision. You will most likely continue to be hurt if you continue to let her be part of your life.
phineas Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 IME with that type, they disappear once it's clear they don't 'have' you anymore. Otherwise, puppet on a string. If one likes being a puppet and getting taken out of the box once in awhile and played with, there ya go. nah, they come back periodically to check & see if they can hook you again. At that point I invite them over for a movie. That usually sends them scurrying away again. At that point I just ignore their next attempt & the next ect. I don't know why, but they always come back trying to see if they can hook me. It's seriously messed up. I must of been a real fricken push-over right after my divorce.
Philosoraptor Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Not sure if you've read the previous threads but his ex seems to be a relationship jumper. I do agree that the OP is grasping for a lot though and he has been informed of such many times.
Woggle Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 If you take her back she will do it again. She just wants to see if she can hook you again. If you want to have some fun but don't expect anything else.
carhill Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 nah, they come back periodically to check & see if they can hook you again. I haven't had that experience yet. Perhaps it's how I say goodbye
phineas Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I haven't had that experience yet. Perhaps it's how I say goodbye Well, I literally said "goodbye" to one. right after I told her she was a dick-tease. A yr later she's still trying to get my attention. So I let her have it. But, once she saw me she realized she wasn't going to be wasting my time again & I haven't heard from her since.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 I know she does genuinely care about me, though. She does, but not in the way you want. She isn't trying to lead you on... she dumped you. She clearly isn't trying to get back with you. Let her go! You are basically just leading yourself on.
bean1 Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Do you want HER or do you just want to "win"? There's really nothing to love about someone who would do that to you. I suspect it's not so much her but the idea of winning her back that you really want.
KathyM Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Just curious. My ex and i had an interesting relationship, but she wanted to see other people and left me for another guy. However, i'm a pretty stubborn guy. I cared about her quite a bit, so i let her see that relationship through and it ended after two months. Point being, she and i have started talking again. I'm very playful and confident about it, but she at times is very cold and confused, yet at other times she says things that just... confuse me. She lacks interest sometimes, but then she makes comments about caring about me and for me not to let her go. I'm pretty sure she's confused about what she wants, so she may be keeping me around as security while she figures out what she wants and tries out other guys. I mean, i'm perfectly cool with that. She was a great girlfriend, and if she needs to learn some life lessons then fine. But of course, since we broke up i took a pretty big hit to my trust with her. I'm just curious, if girls have the capacity to do that and lead you on, are they ever really worth it to be with? She WAS when we dated, but i'm not sure its worth pursuing if that means she's likely to up and leave again, if this is a sign of that. I know she does genuinely care about me, though. I haven't read the whole thread, but to respond to your OP, don't waste your time on someone who is not in it with both feet. She'll just pick up and leave as soon as someone "better" comes along. You don't want to be the fall back guy, do you? Don't allow yourself to be. She is not valuing you enough, and is using you until someone better comes along. Don't allow yourself to be used and strung along. Don't allow yourself to be second choice. Drop this girl and find someone who would be fully invested in a relationship with you.
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