RRKaizen Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Yesterday night I was at a party and guy (Colin) heard that I was dating a certain girl he knows. I've been dating her for three months. When he heard her name he said "F that. I wouldn't stick my dick where Jack's dick has been." Jack is my gf's first boyfriend about 6 years ago. I literally didn't know how to react as I was going to floor the guy but my friends held me back. What is the CORRECT reaction in this situation? I am 27. Should I somehow be more mature about it? P.S. I love her and she loves me very much so to hear that...
Ross MwcFan Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I don't think it sounds THAT offensive towards your girl, it's more offensive towards Jack. But yeah, if someone insults your girl, who you care about a lot, then there's nothing immature about wanting to floor them.
Philosoraptor Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 The proper reaction to any form of instigation is to not react. Find peace and forgiveness and you will never question yourself. What benefit do you gain by being angry? All you do is give someone else power over your emotions.
carhill Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Were you all drinking/drugging? Do you know Colin personally and have rapport with him? Are you willing to face the consequences of using violence to resolve such a situation? Would you say, in general, that your circle of friends respects you? Colin *sounds* like a man of boorish behavior, perhaps lubricated by whatever he was drinking or using that night. One error in judgment is excusable. If he's a personal friend, then I think it worthwhile to clear the air with him on the topic and set a firm boundary for future behavior.
Emilia Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Even as a woman I experience comments like this from boorish types and they are made to flame you more than anything. The way I react is by walking off and never speaking to the person again. This comment has nothing to do with you nor your girlfriend. You can't prevent comments like this happening because there will be always people who will want to be a**seholes on purpose (your 'friend's' comment didn't even make sense. Jack dated the girl 6 years ago!) Show your disdain and lack of respect by treating that person as if he never existed.
Taramere Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Yesterday night I was at a party and guy (Colin) heard that I was dating a certain girl he knows. I've been dating her for three months. When he heard her name he said "F that. I wouldn't stick my dick where Jack's dick has been." Jack is my gf's first boyfriend about 6 years ago. I literally didn't know how to react as I was going to floor the guy but my friends held me back. What is the CORRECT reaction in this situation? I am 27. Should I somehow be more mature about it?. Colin must imagine that his feud with Jack, and his personal rules regarding what he does with his dick, are of interest to people other than himself, Jack and parties interested in his dick. Given that it was a party, a mildly entertaining (for any interested onlookers) response would probably be more fun than a mature and dignified one. Maybe a hammed up indignantly devastated reaction about Colin and his dick refusing to validate your relationship choices
carhill Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I'll assume the lady in question was not at the party. Had she been, different story.
lululucy Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Could Colin have feelings for your girlfriend and be trying to steer you away to swoop in? When my ex and I started dating, a good friend of his and mine told him he wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole -- never mind the fact that I'd rejected his advances not weeks earlier. He kept up that talk the entirety of our relationship (unbeknownst to me). I agree with the other posters, I'd cut contact with the guy. There's nothing immature about wanting to punch someone who says something so crass about someone you care about.
Jynxx Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I literally didn't know how to react as I was going to floor the guy but my friends held me back. What is the CORRECT reaction in this situation? I am 27. Should I somehow be more mature about it? P.S. I love her and she loves me very much so to hear that... Where did you get the idea that physically hurting someone who said something mean to you is immature Get a hold of yourself, he was verbally ****ing with you (and maybe went overboard a bit), just verbally **** him back. And if you can't handle that kind of talk, either tell him or don't hang out with him anymore. Hell, if I'm at a party where A vaguely insults B's girlfriend and B in response attacks A, then I'm most likely gonna stop hanging out with B. Physically attacking someone is about as low as you can go in my book (self defense excluded obv).
Jynxx Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Could Colin have feelings for your girlfriend and be trying to steer you away to swoop in? No. Not if he's over 10 years old.
OpenBook Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I literally didn't know how to react as I was going to floor the guy but my friends held me back. I think you reacted correctly. So did your friends. Good for you for not tolerating anybody trashing your GF.
O'Malley Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 He's a baiter that's seeking a reaction. As Taramere suggested, turn the comment back on him, that it's highly amusing that he ascribes his dick to being the gold standard, the prichter scale. Put a little dent in his ego, then ignore him.
Andy_K Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 If you know the guy, the correct reaction is "Come off it dude, you'd stick your cock in a Labrador if you thought you could keep it from the RSPCA"
Wolf18 Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 So what's the issue, are you going to force him at gunpoint to want to **** your girlfriend? Your girlfriend and you probably made a big deal out of what sounds like a joke or a stupid drunk comment. Protect your girlfriend from danger, absolutely, that is your role as a man, but picking a fight with every guy who even looks at her...well just hope you don't meet someone that knows how to fight and is willing to take it to the next level, he'll always have nothing to lose while you run the risk of looking like an idiot/wuss in front of your woman if you back down, lose, or make a lot of noise then conveniently have your friends "hold back the beast" at the last second .
phineas Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 when I was your age that kind of talk usually led to who else has had fun with said woman & it never ends well. I personally ignored that stuff in the past because nobody ever said anything when the woman was in the room & i've always tried to change the subject of the convo when it involved my close friends to avoid a fight. Otherwise, what's it to me if one stranger knocks the block off another for saying something stupid.
dasein Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I would have encouraged Colin to elaborate on his repressed homosexual feelings about Jack and preoccupation with Jack's sex life. "Have you told Jack about these feelings? You never know, he might feel the same way. Good luck to you and Jack."
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