thatone Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 what would you say if a guy you went out with told you he wasn't sure about you because he was meeting some other girl tomorrow?
carhill Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 OP, do you tell these gentlemen that you're concurrently dating other gentlemen or otherwise make it obvious? An example might be never being available for one man on the weekends (Fri-Sun).
goldengirl11 Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I wouldn't really mind a guy I'd started seeing dating others - as long as I hadn't got physical with him yet. This is what happened to me last time which made me feel rubbish, if a bit used to be honest (I felt that I could've performed better), especially as were old friends and hoped I could trust him not to hurt me (the one before him did too). Then when someone else came into his picture words just seemed enough for him to know I was still there and didn't try to see me anymore. Edited January 9, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author daphne Posted January 9, 2012 Author Posted January 9, 2012 what would you say if a guy you went out with told you he wasn't sure about you because he was meeting some other girl tomorrow? I would say that he was tacky. No one does that anyway. Most people are multi dating online. Some will do it even after intimacy. I wait to get the cue from teh guy, because the guys are the worst and want to have their cake and eat it too. OP, do you tell these gentlemen that you're concurrently dating other gentlemen or otherwise make it obvious? An example might be never being available for one man on the weekends (Fri-Sun). I can't remember what I did before, and so far it hasn't been discussed with the recent guy since I only multi dated this week and ruled out #1 already. If I see it progressing, I'll probably bring it up. If not, no need to have the conversation. One date at a time. I wouldn't really mind a guy I'd started seeing dating others - as long as I hadn't got physical with him yet. This is what happened to me last time which felt rather belittling to be honest, especially as were old friends and hoped I could trust him not to hurt me (the one before him did too). Then when someone else came into his picture words just seemed enough for him to know I was still there and didn't try to see me anymore. I didn't understand the last part of your post. Did you communicate exclusivity before intimacy? I think assuming that a guy is going to stop dating others would be a bad idea. It's better to get it out on the table to see what their thoughts are. I'm surprised more women don't take the time to ensure that the guy's not pursuing other women before they become intimate. Otherwise, I agree with multi dating before intimacy. It's harmless, and helps you figure out what you want and need, as well as maintain distance earlier on.
goldengirl11 Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) I was going to edit my post but it was too late! How embarassing one or two things I'd said. Daphne - I suppose it was kind of complicated. We seemed to meet with gaps in-between and after ther last time we became intimate the most it was on the tip of my tongue to ask if there was anyone else/if it could be exclusive, but stupidly I held back as didn't want to push him away I guess. I definitely would be more open with the next person though. I learnt from it, at least. Edited January 9, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author daphne Posted January 9, 2012 Author Posted January 9, 2012 I was going to edit my post but it was too late! How embarassing one or two things I'd said. Daphne - I suppose it was kind of complicated. We seemed to meet with gaps in-between and after ther last time we became intimate the most it was on the tip of my tongue to ask if there was anyone else/if it could be exclusive, but stupidly I held back as didn't want to push him away I guess. I definitely would be more open with the next person though. I learnt from it, at least. If you push him away, that's a good thing. It means his intentions are dubious at best anyway. Hope you learn to ask what you need to ask ahead of time. If you don't assert what you need, no one will.
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