Buttercup84 Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 I was wondering if it is weird for dumpers too to have sex with someone else after they dump you . Sure they have no feelings left for us but after being with someone for a while would't it still be a bit strange ? is it different for men ?
I have no title Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 I am not a man but I think it depends on the circumstances of the break up. Like why did it happen and what were the reasons, and how long the relationship was. I think if they broke up with you cause their feelings have faded, or because they found somebody else, I dont think they have a weird feeling having sex with someone else to be honest. I do think that in most cases, especially men dont have that weird feeling having sex with a new partner.
Mcnulty Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 Looking back on the end, yes she cut me down and discarded me, but i pushed her away so much, refused to sleep with her and even told her to find"it" elsewhere, so was I the dumpee??? Getting onto the question, i have had sex since...i hate/love my ex still...mixed feelings to say the least, but yes it is weird having sex with someone else and yes, shamefully at moments during said act i thought about my "past". By the way i am not in a rel with the girl, I wouldn't do that to her, i told her straight, i'm a mess still and healing.
Philosoraptor Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 Many dumpers do so either in anger or avoidance. So yes, very common.
Mack05 Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 Shall I use my invisibility to fight for good or for evil? Butter see my reply in your last thread about first loves. How long are you going to ask pointless questions, how long are you going to ruminate about your ex? You have been posting since July. All the questions very similiar in nature, all these threads focusing on just your ex. Whatever I say to you it seems to go in one ear and out the next. Your ex is not the problem. Forgive the crudeness here, but if he bangs 1000 women on Coogee beach this year, it is not your business. I admire your idea about not dating this year. You are nowhere near ready. Next time in Therapy ask you therapist how to bring things inwards towards you. I am amazed after therapy, you are still mainly focused on your ex. I am leaving LS for at least 6 months after I reply to Dovic. I really hope Butter you find the happiness you are looking for..I wish I could have helped you more..Until you focus on you and JUST you then you will be here in 6 months still asking pointless questions. Is that what you want? By focusing on you, you will figure out why you put up with his shoddy treatment for as long as you did. You will come to terms with the loss of your baby..By focusing on him you are avoiding the important issues you need to resolve for yourself. I wish you could see this..
Author Buttercup84 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 I know I'm sorry . Thanks anyway for helping me , I wish you all the best too x
fificremefarben Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Shall I use my invisibility to fight for good or for evil? Butter see my reply in your last thread about first loves. How long are you going to ask pointless questions, how long are you going to ruminate about your ex? You have been posting since July. All the questions very similiar in nature, all these threads focusing on just your ex. Whatever I say to you it seems to go in one ear and out the next. Your ex is not the problem. Forgive the crudeness here, but if he bangs 1000 women on Coogee beach this year, it is not your business. I admire your idea about not dating this year. You are nowhere near ready. Next time in Therapy ask you therapist how to bring things inwards towards you. I am amazed after therapy, you are still mainly focused on your ex. I am leaving LS for at least 6 months after I reply to Dovic. I really hope Butter you find the happiness you are looking for..I wish I could have helped you more..Until you focus on you and JUST you then you will be here in 6 months still asking pointless questions. Is that what you want? By focusing on you, you will figure out why you put up with his shoddy treatment for as long as you did. You will come to terms with the loss of your baby..By focusing on him you are avoiding the important issues you need to resolve for yourself. I wish you could see this.. As you can see from this reply, it's really easy to tell someone where they should be in terms of the healing process when recovering from a breakup. Truth is, Buttercup, if you're not there yet, you're just not there. There's nothing wrong with it. You're going to heal when you heal, simple as. Only time can tell, but it's futile to try and speed yourself along the recovery process just because people tell you should be doing better "by now" than you are. I would argue that if you still have questions plaguing you, that there is nowhere better to vent them than on Loveshack. My long-term relationship ended in July as well (cheated on and left for the OW) and, even though it's now January, I still have similar little questions that niggle at my head from time to time, particularly because I didn't get any closure. I say get those questions out there. Who knows, maybe they'll help you on the road to recovery. I often find that posting my questions on LS can be very cathartic, and that getting them "on screen" helps get them out of my head. What I think you definitely DON'T need is to be given a hard time for not healing fast enough. You'll get there, just in your own time. x
CaliBabe Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I personally don't think it is weird for the dumpers. They ended things, so sleeping with someone else is what they want. They want to experience other people. I imagine the excitement and rush of someone new is enjoyable in the beginning of things.
immitable Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 TO answer your question, yes I think it feels weird especially after a long term relationship, having sex with someone else can help detaching physically. btw I am not bothered by your questions.
leoc1973 Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 Butter I think it depends on what kind of guy he is/was. I think some guys don't think of sex as anything more than a way to get off and it feels good so why not. As I sit here and think about it my friends that do things like cheat don't have any problem with it. But I also have a friend that confided in me that since he dumped his ex he can't even get an erection when he is with another woman. He said he has no problem while he is by himself but with another woman he just goes limp. He said he feels guilty his heart starts racing and he just can't do it. Was your ex the "cheating" type? Did he do it often? And how about you? Have you ever dumped someone and how did you feel when you went to have sex with a new man? And don't over think this too much sex is sex its not love. I think you still have your ex on a pedistal. Its consuming you.
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