Do you think we don't fully move on until we move onto someone else?

[fificremefarben]

This is just something I was discussing with my friends at dinner tonight.

 

I know you could argue the case that the person could be rebound, but I mean outside of the "rebound" scenario. When it's over, when that person has truly moved on and left you dumped and hurt.

 

Do you think it takes another person coming into your life before you fully move on? Yes, I technically mean like a "one in, one out" type of system.

Perhaps until that someone new enters your life, even if you know you won't be getting back with the ex, you will always be drawn back to the person who came before.

 

I feel some people will argue that you don't need a significant other in your life to be complete and I fully agree, but I'm talking in romantic terms. Even if you're fine with being single again, your ex will not fully evade your thoughts until you have someone new to occupy them, perhaps?

 

Just a thought.

[Philosoraptor]

I'd agree to a point. I feel that opening your heart again is the final step to healing but it need not be given away. Just the act of being able to open your heart is good enough. For many this comes as the result of meeting someone worth opening their heart to, to others they find it in other ways.

[carhill]

If one has rarely or never been without a partner and immediately pursues a replacement once any relationship is over, then 'moving on', in their style, includes 'moving on to someone else'. One style. One person.

[ken_25]

I think there's something to that. We as humans naturally partner up, and I know when I'm single I feel a sort of void. Even if I'm happy I'm not feeling as complete as I do with my partner. So I feel finding someone else does kind of complete the process in a way.

[fificremefarben]

I think there's something to that. We as humans naturally partner up, and I know when I'm single I feel a sort of void. Even if I'm happy I'm not feeling as complete as I do with my partner. So I feel finding someone else does kind of complete the process in a way.

 

I agree with you, Ken. Being in a relationship taught me...that I like being in a relationship. That's not to say that I'm not alright or happy on my own or that I can't function without a significant other, but I do feel generally happier sharing my life with someone.

[carhill]

If I had a nickel for all the MW's who've told me "I can't be alone"..... and they aren't, lining up a replacement before bailing on the M. At least their actions support their words and are consistent. Me, I'll pass on that. Different style.

 

I've moved on completely from a ten year M without any partner. That's my style. I've always felt 'complete' within myself and sought a partner mainly to have children and a family with. Now that such a time has passed, that feeling is gone.

 

My exW pops in now and again when she needs something or, most recently, she wanted to give me back something of my mother's that she took when she left. I keep it business and told her to keep what she took. Mom's dead; she won't miss it.

[ken_25]

I agree with you, Ken. Being in a relationship taught me...that I like being in a relationship. That's not to say that I'm not alright or happy on my own or that I can't function without a significant other, but I do feel generally happier sharing my life with someone.

 

Yeah I'm completely the same. I can be fine alone and generally happy. But finding someone new and I'm not saying a month after a break up, I'm saying when you're healed from the previous ex, I become fully complete again.

[perfectlyflawed459]

I agree with Ken as well...Personally I believe I am close to achieving inner piece and I am content with my life right now. However, I still do miss sharing my life with my ex. He was a huge part of my life and it was nice having someone there who completely understood you and that you could be yourself around. Can you experience that with someone else? Absolutely! It is just really really hard, at least for me, to "replace" my ex. He was special, and that still hasn't changed even after a year of being apart.

[stitch702]

No I am different I cant just jump from relationship to relationship. I have to take time to be by myself for a bit and gain my confidence back before I can get back into the game, but that's just my style. Besides I always take the time to enjoy being around friends and family who I've neglected while I was in a relationship. Plus I have a lot of close friends who are girls so I also find myself spending more time with them again because if I end up in another relationship...chances are my new g/f may probably get jealous...and that has always been an issue.

[GG3]

I think when you do find someone special, not just anyone, that it's true. You don't really move on until you are with someone else. I think it gives you that hope that yes there are other people out there that are good matches for you or better for you and you will be okay. That's how I have felt anyway when I finally met someone else (a good match I mean) after a heartbreak.