Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 I say it's simply smiling. And yet, it seems like something hard for both men and women to do. I was out doing a lot of errands today and people just seem gosh darn cranky. They look unhappy and they certainly don't smile at you. I smile at people or talk to them and sometimes they barely mumble anything back. But it's not just women that don't do this, it's men too. The only people that smiled at me today were women 40+ and children (and even children sometimes don't smile.) Not too many other people seemed that friendly. What do you guys think? What do you think is the key to approachability? If someone smiled at you would you be more inclined to talk to them? And yet, despite how friendly I can be, when it comes to men that I spark with, I sometimes don't even smile. There is this guy at my gym that I'm very attracted to. We often make eye contact and I always want to smile at him but I sort of freeze up. I think if I just smiled at him from the start, we might have at the very least made causual small talk if nothing else. All the eye contact we have has to account for something right? Maybe next time your out, you just got to smile at people more. As corny as it sounds. Fearlessly smile. No matter what you may think they may be thinking of you.
ThaWholigan Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 I say it's simply smiling. And yet, it seems like something hard for both men and women to do. I was out doing a lot of errands today and people just seem gosh darn cranky. They look unhappy and they certainly don't smile at you. I smile at people or talk to them and sometimes they barely mumble anything back. But it's not just women that don't do this, it's men too. The only people that smiled at me today were women 40+ and children (and even children sometimes don't smile.) Not too many other people seemed that friendly. What do you guys think? What do you think is the key to approachability? If someone smiled at you would you be more inclined to talk to them? And yet, despite how friendly I can be, when it comes to men that I spark with, I sometimes don't even smile. There is this guy at my gym that I'm very attracted to. We often make eye contact and I always want to smile at him but I sort of freeze up. I think if I just smiled at him from the start, we might have at the very least made causual small talk if nothing else. All the eye contact we have has to account for something right? Maybe next time your out, you just got to smile at people more. As corny as it sounds. Fearlessly smile. No matter what you may think they may be thinking of you. To smile at someone while walking down the street and say good morning to them, I do this regularly in London. People really are miserable, and it makes you want to be miserable too. If you're a free thinker, you will take no notice. Sometimes people say hello. Sometimes they freak out and think you're one of those charity fundraisers . The secret to approachability isn't just smiling IMO. It is being relaxed overall. Calmness personified.
Jynxx Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 "If someone has a simple solution to a complex problem, it's probably wrong" - Jynxx There is no key or secret that you can read, apply and gives you success. It's different for different people and most likely takes alot of practice and experimentation
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 To smile at someone while walking down the street and say good morning to them, I do this regularly in London. People really are miserable, and it makes you want to be miserable too. If you're a free thinker, you will take no notice. Sometimes people say hello. Sometimes they freak out and think you're one of those charity fundraisers . The secret to approachability isn't just smiling IMO. It is being relaxed overall. Calmness personified. You said it well. The people that weren't friendly made me feel more unfriendly too. But the people that smiled and where friendly made me feel like being more friendly. I think people easily play off each other's emotions whether they realize it or not. I agree that being relaxed, calm and happy with yourself are also important and that people will secretly read that vibe. But I admit that I am not always relaxed and calm and it's hard sometimes to be.
Woggle Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 If I walked down the street grinning like some chesire cat people would think I was a lunatic.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 7, 2012 Author Posted January 7, 2012 Give me a break. I'm right about a lot of things.
Oxy Moronovich Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 Yeah, but what do you do after you smile? I smiled at a woman, she approached, we talked for a minute before I said, "That's a nice outfit." She frowned at me, said, "This is a nice outfit?", and then walked away like I insulted her. Women can still flake out on you even after you approach them. So I agree with Jynx.
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