snowturtle Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I sometimes go for a drink with my cousin on a Thursday or Friday night and we talk and catch up on stuff. But this is only when she's single. She met a guy in October and i haven't seen her without him since. I'm invited to go along with them, but it's not the same. She doesn't understand why I decline. They see each almost every night! I do have a man/husband-like-thing (for now), but he doesn't like to go out... ever. So the couple times I did go with them, they make out all night at the bar and leave me sitting there, only to get hit on by a bar full of men. I think she should be able take one night off a month where it's just us girls like. How do I tell her it's unfair to forget your friends whenever you meet a new guy.
Libra16 Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I sometimes go for a drink with my cousin on a Thursday or Friday night and we talk and catch up on stuff. But this is only when she's single. She met a guy in October and i haven't seen her without him since. I'm invited to go along with them, but it's not the same. She doesn't understand why I decline. They see each almost every night! I do have a man/husband-like-thing (for now), but he doesn't like to go out... ever. So the couple times I did go with them, they make out all night at the bar and leave me sitting there, only to get hit on by a bar full of men. I think she should be able take one night off a month where it's just us girls like. How do I tell her it's unfair to forget your friends whenever you meet a new guy. Honey, good luck with this one. Just say it jokingly because if you say it the wrong way, she's going to get defensive and possibly mad at you. I think that your request is simple enough, though. I know I was dating a guy and he didn't like for me to go out without him. Maybe it's that sort of situation. I know the easiest way for me to appease both him and my friend was to tell him they were messing with me and laughing about it. My friends would say things like "leave your ball and chain at home!" and laugh. It was light enough but I got the message. At any rate, Proceed with caution.
NoMagicBullet Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 Have you suggested a Girl's Night Out? Or some other activity for just the two of you? Lunch, manicures, whatever the two of you could do together. Maybe a daytime activity, if possible, or at least getting out of the bar, for a change. Maybe take an exercise class together, or both of you join a women's book club. Also, if your man doesn't like going out, extend an invitation for them to come to your place for lunch, dinner, a barbecue, a movie night, or to watch a sports game. (The latter might keep the men busy enough that you and your cousin could chat.) The reality is she is now focused on her new relationship, and that's probably as it should be. Don't blame her for not being there for you if she's invited you to go out, you don't enjoy it and you haven't suggested alternative activities outside the bar scene.
Author snowturtle Posted January 11, 2012 Author Posted January 11, 2012 Thanks guys. I did get her to go shopping with me. She's not much of a shopper but she came along and we did have fun. Although she was texting her guy practically the whole time! Oh well, what can you do.....
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