hockeyfan09 Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Hi everyone... My friend is going though a messy bout with his gf. Another women approached him on FB and disclosed an affair she caught her bf participating in with my friends gf. She send dozens of thier emails she pulled off the computer talking about planned meetings, feelings, etc. Hes a mess... But has taken her back after a two week seperation. Our friendship is strained since he knows I was caught up in an OM situation myself recently but he keeps picking my brain for advice and "whythe hell people do this" Ive read that 65% of affairs end up killing the relationship... Is this true? Now that they are back... Shes very remorseful... Hes scared but wants to give her a second chance, but is not trusting in spite of the deception. Do many couples go the second chance route and succeed or is just temporarily extending the inevitable end? Both are private easy going,people but all friends and family have found out.
Owl Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I'd read stats way back when I was making my decisions that indicated that about only 33% of relationships survive 5 years post d-day. The accuracy of that is really hard to determine though...doesn't seem like there have been any kind of recent studies to shore up those stats either way. All that they (your friend and his gf) can do is to decide what they want to do for themselves, and work to reach whatever goal they decide on. Heck...if they're wanting to reconcile, steer them here...lots to learn.
Spark1111 Posted January 7, 2012 Posted January 7, 2012 It all depends in the handling of the aftermath! Professional help, remorse, transparency and honest communication are key! I have read that 55% will make the 5 year mark, but that number will jump to 87% IF the cheater musters the courage to answer all questions honestly and openly about the affair and professional help is sought.
Kidd Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 I read that 70% make it two years when the affair was disclosed. 35% when it was discovered; half of them reported being happy. I hoped for the 17.5%.
SoMovinOn Posted January 8, 2012 Posted January 8, 2012 To me, survival is just the first part of the question. The second part is "What are you left with if you do survive?"
silktricks Posted January 9, 2012 Posted January 9, 2012 The thing is - statistics don't mean a d*mn thing in any given situation. Those are just the numbers for "other people". Each couple is unique. Each circumstance is unique. Even though millions of people have gone through this, what happened with everyone else has nothing to do with what will happen in your friend's case. SoMovinOn - what you MAY have is what I have. Which is the best relationship anyone could ever want. A closeness that is rare and special. A love that is precious, strong and vibrant. But not everyone gets that. Some people end up with crap. Let's face it, no matter what, we never know the future, and some people would prefer throwing in their cards and waiting for the next hand. There is no right or wrong to other people's choices.
Recommended Posts