Is ex just using me or is he really confused?? help me understand men...

[kalari26267]

well a week ago, my bf and I broke up. He ended it with me. I love him with my heart, mind, body and soul. we have had a great relationship up until about 2 weeks ago. We started bickering..not fighting just disagreeing on things..he started to pull away and then he broke it off last week. Sicne then we stayed together the next night and slept together. we saw each other everyday since then as well. he took me to lunch on Weds. which we discussed our relationship a little farther..I told him I am hoping he will have a change of heart. He told me that he doesn't think that I am the right one or his soulmate. he then told me that he loves me with ALL his heart but isn't in love with me..??? then he stayed with me Thursday night. He ended up getting jealous over a guy that I use to see before him. He found out that we are talking again. He told me that he was jealous and didn't like it because all the other guy wants is sex from me not a relationship and it makes him mad. he said that if this other guy wanted a relationship from me he wouldn't care at all..then that night when we went to sleep (ended up making love) I told him I loved him..he said he loves me too.

 

Then this weekend we went camping together with all his friends..I hadn't met half of them. I got along with them like cheese and wine..we all connected really well. The whole trip no one could tell we WEREN"T together he was loving and affectionate just like we were back together. Even today on the way home from the trip, we held hands the whole way home and when we were saying goodbye I told him I loved him (which I did all weekend and he told me he loved me too) he said he loved me too and that I would never know how much he loved me.

 

 

I want to ask him if we are working things out or if he still feels that I am not the perfect one for him but I am scared...I just need some advice or answers of why things are going the way they are going.??? Also, I pointed out to him on thursday that what is the difference between him and this other guy..he is willing to keep being physical with me and doesn't want me back..he replied that it is different because he loves me and has feelings for me...what does that mean??? and no I am not involved or planning on getting involved with the man before my ex...we are just friends.I want my ex back soo bad and know that we are good together and could have a future together but what should I do to help him realize this?? Please help me...losing my mind..

[bluechocolate]

I pointed out to him on thursday that what is the difference between him and this other guy..

 

There isn't a difference.

 

If he loves you with all his heart & doesn't want you to see other men then he should be man enough to commit to a relationship with you.

 

If he doesn't think you are "the one" for him then he has to end it. And so do you. What he is doing is leaving himself open to meeting new people & possibly starting a new relationship but until then he has a f*** buddy in you because he knows how you feel about him.

 

Be strong & show him that you are not to be taken advantage of in this way.

[dudesomewhere]

man...I just want this to be so positive you know? No you don't know so that's why I'll say

 

But in my head I'm hoping that this guy is actually at a place he doesn't yet realize and that is he wants to be with you forever. You know what, I don't think he's not in love with you...I think he is but he is so comfortable with you that it's confusing him. This prick better realize he loves you and is in love with you.

 

gahh, it just seems beautiful to me and that he can't see it. Azz.

 

tell him what bluechocolate said and then tell him what I said...and that I'll kick his azz if he ain't in love with you ...these suckers who don't know how to keep a woman that love them and so willing to let them go...freaks

[azgirl]

[...these suckers who don't know how to keep a woman that love them and so willing to let them go...freaks

 

No kidding, dudesomewhere! I have been in a similar situation as kalari26267. My bf broke up with me. I still live with him, though and when he is around we are affectionate, and yes ... still sleeping together. At least we did last week. Now ... he is staying at a friend's house and I feel like he is avoiding me. He says he is just "taking some time to himself." I haven't been bothering him or calling him. I saw him on Sunday, though. Twice. Once at his workplace (he has the only mailbox key and I needed it) and he held me tightly in his arms there. Then he stopped by briefly to get some things after he got out of work. Again, he held me tightly and put his head down against mine. I couldn't get much out of him other than "I don't want to talk about it." And that he would be home soon. ????? WTF??? I don't understand. It's almost as if he is afraid to be around me because he is afraid he will feel something for me.

 

I love him so very very much and want him back.

[jk]

My now-ex and I had a similar discussion on the night I broke it off with him. I didn't want to be taken advantage of anymore. I asked him what he would do if he saw me with another guy- he said he would want to sock the guy. I was like wtf?

 

They want to keep us dangling but they don't want to be "tied" to us, so to speak. I guess my ex wasn't man enough to commit.