What's a good, unconventional alternative to the Ikea date from 500 Days of Summer?

[EnigmaticClarity]

The Ikea date in 500 Days of Summer wasn't a first meet; they already knew each other. Gimmicks will scream that you're trying too hard for a first date and could easily come across as desperate. A first date should be relaxed and a simple meet because you don't know yet if there's any attraction at all. After the first one or two, feel free to let the gimmicks fly.

 

Main thing to work on to make sure first dates go well is your conversational humor. Best way to do that is with friends and family--make an effort to entertain them over dinners using the same sorts of topics you'd bring up with a stranger. If you can't entertain people you already know, strangers are harder. You can also use strangers to help you work on your conversational skill--either salespeople in stores or random people on ChatRoulette.com or Omegle.com. I've frequently used ChatRoulette and Omegle to sharpen my wit--you can easily just drop the chat and try again with somebody new when you don't do so well. Great, easy way to practice conversational skill.

[jobaba]

Well that woman is an idiot.

 

It's OK to try to impress some but it all depends on how you try to impress. The OP's problem is that he generally tries too hard and he focuses on the wrong things. If he wants to impress a woman he should try to figure out how to become a more interesting person.

 

I'm sure she thinks YOU are an idiot.

 

Well. I took her advice and it worked. I'm not going to get into details, but if I had done the trad dinner/date thing, the woman I took out probably would not have become involved with me romantically.

 

Just another example of how it's just a rolling crapshoot with women. They will reject you on a whim and you have to go through large quantities to get anywhere.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Also, OP, you are going to have a big problem with the impression you give with trying for "cute" first dates. You are going to make the girl think you are interested in a relationship. Ikea and window shopping don't seamlessly translate into casual sex.

[EnigmaticClarity]

Well. I took her advice and it worked. I'm not going to get into details, but if I had done the trad dinner/date thing, the woman I took out probably would not have become involved with me romantically.

 

If you wow her with wit on the date, any woman who would still hold the venue for a blind date against you may not be an idiot, but it's a warning flag that she might be high maintenance and a challenge to keep happy.

[TheBigQuestion]

I'm sure she thinks YOU are an idiot.

 

Well. I took her advice and it worked. I'm not going to get into details, but if I had done the trad dinner/date thing, the woman I took out probably would not have become involved with me romantically.

 

Just another example of how it's just a rolling crapshoot with women. They will reject you on a whim and you have to go through large quantities to get anywhere.

 

The venue of initial meetings will rarely factor into whether a woman likes you. You may have had trouble getting dates or keeping women interested in the past, but I highly doubt the places you took them for dates had anything to do whether they ended up liking you. If the venue was a factor, it probably had nothing to do with how "unique" it was or was not.

 

Also, what is this talk about it taking "hours" to plan dates? You pick a restaurant you've been to that you know is unique (i.e. not a chain restaurant). Or you can be adventurous and find one on Google. If you need a reservation, it takes a 2 minute long phone call to set it up. It probably takes no more than 10 minutes to find a place. It shouldn't take more than 30-45 minutes to think of and plan for an after lunch/dinner activity.

 

This may be a crass way of putting it, but there's an old saying that goes "You don't need to spend money to get p***y." Similarly, you don't need to spend that much time or thought with trying to impress women you barely know. I've never spent more than 45 minutes planning or thinking up any activity to do with anyone, whether it was with a new girl I've met or my current girlfriend.

[EnigmaticClarity]

your a pussy

 

What are you, 7 years old? If you MUST troll, put some effort into it.

[Art_Critic]

Whole foods food sampling for a first date of someone you don't know.. dude..

Your not going to score a second date from a Whole foods marathon...

The Whole foods thing will only work if they already know some about you first.. thru say a friend or thru work, but with OLD dating they don't know you yet and you don't want to come off anything but perfect on a first date

 

Take your date to a nice dinner..

 

Good Luck

[jobaba]

The venue of initial meetings will rarely factor into whether a woman likes you. You may have had trouble getting dates or keeping women interested in the past, but I highly doubt the places you took them for dates had anything to do whether they ended up liking you. If the venue was a factor, it probably had nothing to do with how "unique" it was or was not.

 

Also, what is this talk about it taking "hours" to plan dates? You pick a restaurant you've been to that you know is unique (i.e. not a chain restaurant). Or you can be adventurous and find one on Google. If you need a reservation, it takes a 2 minute long phone call to set it up. It probably takes no more than 10 minutes to find a place. It shouldn't take more than 30-45 minutes to think of and plan for an after lunch/dinner activity.

 

This may be a crass way of putting it, but there's an old saying that goes "You don't need to spend money to get p***y." Similarly, you don't need to spend that much time or thought with trying to impress women you barely know. I've never spent more than 45 minutes planning or thinking up any activity to do with anyone, whether it was with a new girl I've met or my current girlfriend.

 

45 minutes is almost an hour.

 

I like to spend time doing it. It makes me feel creative. I don't go on a lot of dates. Women want to feel SPECIAL yet they don't want a guy to impress them?

 

Anyway, you agree with my main point. Women are a crapshoot and venue means very little. I just err on the side of creative/fun rather than trad dinner/drinks.

[Art_Critic]

venue means very little.

 

I'm afraid I can't agree with you on this one...

 

It matters all too much...

Remember the first date is part of the first impression and you only get to make one of those.

 

Hell.. I one time pissed off my ex-wife while we were dating by taking her to an Arby's while going to the Fox Theater for a nice musical..

We were running late and didn't have time for a long dinner so I swung into the Arby's..and I had been dating her for a month or so...

hahahaha.. big mistake

[TheBigQuestion]

45 minutes is almost an hour.

 

I like to spend time doing it. It makes me feel creative. I don't go on a lot of dates. Women want to feel SPECIAL yet they don't want a guy to impress them?

 

Anyway, you agree with my main point. Women are a crapshoot and venue means very little. I just err on the side of creative/fun rather than trad dinner/drinks.

 

I don't agree with your main point. EVERYONE is a crapshoot.

 

You can err on whichever side you want, but I would say that you are expending too much effort on your initial dates if you actually spend hours planning them out. You don't need to think of some crazy or unique date idea to impress most women. How do I know? From personal experience, and because my personal experience actually complies with what most of the women in this thread are saying. The more effort you put into your dates, the more resentment you set yourself up for in the event that the girl loses interest.

[TheBigQuestion]

I'm afraid I can't agree with you on this one...

 

It matters all too much...

Remember the first date is part of the first impression and you only get to make one of those.

 

Hell.. I one time pissed off my ex-wife while we were dating by taking her to an Arby's while going to the Fox Theater for a nice musical..

We were running late and didn't have time for a long dinner so I swung into the Arby's..and I had been dating her for a month or so...

hahahaha.. big mistake

 

There's a huge difference between taking a woman to a fast food restaurant as part of an early date and thinking that you need to come up with really flashy or unique dates in order to spark her interest. Venue matters within reason. The main limitation I've found is that if you're going to a restaurant, it shouldn't be at a chain. Beyond that, venue matters very little.

[Art_Critic]

There's a huge difference between taking a woman to a fast food restaurant as part of an early date and thinking that you need to come up with really flashy or unique dates in order to spark her interest. Venue matters within reason. The main limitation I've found is that if you're going to a restaurant, it shouldn't be at a chain. Beyond that, venue matters very little.

 

so.. venues do matter.. you can't say they do then in the same sentence say they don't.

 

The truth is that venues don't matter if you pick a nice venue.. but if you pick a bad one they they matter very much

[jobaba]

I'm afraid I can't agree with you on this one...

 

It matters all too much...

Remember the first date is part of the first impression and you only get to make one of those.

 

Hell.. I one time pissed off my ex-wife while we were dating by taking her to an Arby's while going to the Fox Theater for a nice musical..

We were running late and didn't have time for a long dinner so I swung into the Arby's..and I had been dating her for a month or so...

hahahaha.. big mistake

 

Ironically enough, an ex took me out to a venue that was crappy and I commented on it and she blew her top. Double standard.

 

I don't agree with your main point. EVERYONE is a crapshoot.

 

You can err on whichever side you want, but I would say that you are expending too much effort on your initial dates if you actually spend hours planning them out. You don't need to think of some crazy or unique date idea to impress most women. How do I know? From personal experience, and because my personal experience actually complies with what most of the women in this thread are saying. The more effort you put into your dates, the more resentment you set yourself up for in the event that the girl loses interest.

 

My personal experience differs from yours. I have impressed woman by taking them out on well planned creative dates. I'm talking dates spanning a whole day. That's planning. And the result ... sex that night.

 

Perhaps you're a handsome guy, and get 10 dates a month. You can ask them to Applebees and then Whiskey Bar afterwards, and get laid that night. But I like to be creative.

 

And I should not be penalized for that.

[Wolf18]

The local science or history museum would be much more entertaining than...ikea.

 

Some ideas : Take mushrooms and go to an amusement park.

 

Drink 40's at your local park and gaze at stars.

 

Play in the snow (if there's any by you).

 

 

Honestly, typical dinner and a movie is OK but not as fun as it could be.

[TheBigQuestion]

so.. venues do matter.. you can't say they do then in the same sentence say they don't.

 

The truth is that venues don't matter if you pick a nice venue.. but if you pick a bad one they they matter very much

 

There's also a difference between saying they don't matter at all and saying they matter relatively little. I've been saying the latter this whole time.

 

"Nice" venue doesn't mean fancy, expensive, or flashy either.

[Art_Critic]

"Nice" venue doesn't mean fancy, expensive, or flashy either.

 

very true...

[sweetjasmine]

Women are a crapshoot

 

Yes, women (and men!) are human beings with their own preferences and likes and dislikes.

 

What else is new?