TurningTables Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Hi everyone! I do hope everyone had a great holiday season! For those of you who dont know my backstory, I had a EA with my best friend for 2 or so years ( been friends for 20) and Ive been in LC at first and now NC since June of this year. Its a been a bumpy ride with him leaving his W and stringing me along, blaming me...the ususal stuff. Ive been in strict blocking mode and NC for at least 4 months now. So now to address my current problem: He is in one of my classes. We attend the same college and I just got all my stuff on my website about my classes, emails, etc. His name is there. I am not sure what to do at this point. Should I break NC and contact him to tell him that its still over and not to try anything? Or should I just ignore the whole thing? Let me say this: I CANNOT transfer out. I need this class to graduate and all the other ones are full, so I am stuck. Also, I have no ambitions of having anything to do with him. This time has given me alot to think about. I am still very angry at the things he did and said to me. Just for an example for the newbies: He actually blamed me for flirting with him, making him uncomfortable. However, I would always tell him his child needed a sibling, and he would say "Are you volunterring?" I mean, who does that? In a normal situation, I would never let a man do that to me. My rose colored glasses are thrown away and Im actually seeing things for what they were. He used me as a ego stroke because I was the one who got away a long time ago and to take the focus off his miserable M and life. So any thoughts on how I should handle this situation would be great! Thanks in advance!
TigerCub Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Hey TT, Well congrats on being NC for a few months - that really is something to be proud of. Don't call him to tell him that you're in class together but not gonna talk - what's the point in that? Since you absolutely can't drop the class, take it and ignore him, just go about your business, get through your class and graduate. If he approaches you, then tell him, "If you approach me again, I will tell your wife, so get a life and leave me alone!" and that should be that. never mind what I just said above - you said he left his wife - so I guess you can't threaten that anymore. Either way, you can still ignore him and tell him to **** off if he approaches you.
Author TurningTables Posted January 6, 2012 Author Posted January 6, 2012 Thank you TC. He left and then went back to his W. He also tried to tell me awhile ago, that he told her ALL about me. I seriously doubt it. I guess what Im worried about is my temper. I am still so angry with what he did to me. I am afraid Ill lash out if he tries to approach me. Or my worst fear: is that he will end up being my lab partner.
whichwayisup Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Don't give him a heads up. Hope that HE feels uncomfortable and decides to transfer out to another class. Just ignore him. No need to break NC to tell him what you think or feel. Your actions and silence will say it all! Sit FAR away from him, don't even look in his direction. If he tries to talk to you, just calmly say,"I have absolutely nothing to say to you and I'm asking you to please respect my wishes and leave me alone." then walk away.
TigerCub Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 Thank you TC. He left and then went back to his W. He also tried to tell me awhile ago, that he told her ALL about me. I seriously doubt it. I guess what Im worried about is my temper. I am still so angry with what he did to me. I am afraid Ill lash out if he tries to approach me. Or my worst fear: is that he will end up being my lab partner. Well ok, he's back with her, so the threat of telling her if he doesn't leave you alone can still work - so yaaaaay for that!! As far as the lab partner stuff, you can control that, even if he is assigned to you, you can go to the prof and say that in the past he's made you feel very uncomfortable and you'd like a different partner. You don't have to go into details just allude the fact that he's creepy and makes you uncomfortable and the prof can't possibly make you be partners. Good luck
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