BlackBantie Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I have an issue. I can be extroverted and exhibit normal social skills when I'm with someone that I know well. I'm also good at public speaking and making eye contact and all that. But if it's someone I don't know, forget about it! I'm very shy and my eye contact is horrible. I don't know why. I think I've been like this for quite some time but it was only somewhat recently when I took notice of it. Anyway, this has been hindering my dating life. If I see someone I'm attracted to, I cannot look at them. How sad is that? I can't even smile at them. Unfortunately, I'm giving them the impression that I'm not interested and there goes my potential opportunity. There's a guy that works at the gym that I go to almost daily and I've seen him looking at me a few times but then I always turn my head away suddenly. Now if I can see him in the corner of my eye, I make a huge point to not even look in his direction. Every time I tell myself that today will be the day that I look at him and smile....but it never happens. I chicken out at the last second when I'm about to walk past him. I know this is not going to be fixed overnight, but if anyone has any advice about making better eye contact and not being so shy, I would be so grateful. If it matters, I'm a female in my mid-twenties.
ThaWholigan Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I have an issue. I can be extroverted and exhibit normal social skills when I'm with someone that I know well. I'm also good at public speaking and making eye contact and all that. But if it's someone I don't know, forget about it! I'm very shy and my eye contact is horrible. I don't know why. I think I've been like this for quite some time but it was only somewhat recently when I took notice of it. Anyway, this has been hindering my dating life. If I see someone I'm attracted to, I cannot look at them. How sad is that? I can't even smile at them. Unfortunately, I'm giving them the impression that I'm not interested and there goes my potential opportunity. There's a guy that works at the gym that I go to almost daily and I've seen him looking at me a few times but then I always turn my head away suddenly. Now if I can see him in the corner of my eye, I make a huge point to not even look in his direction. Every time I tell myself that today will be the day that I look at him and smile....but it never happens. I chicken out at the last second when I'm about to walk past him. I know this is not going to be fixed overnight, but if anyone has any advice about making better eye contact and not being so shy, I would be so grateful. If it matters, I'm a female in my mid-twenties. One of the best methods that I used to use is to look at a particular facial feature (nose bridge, forehead, sometimes eyebrows). It kept me on a gradual progression towards being able to look into someones eyes. At times, you may have to force yourself which can be uncomfortable, but I would say pick your moments when you are feeling brave enough to do this. Good luck.
Buttercup84 Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 I have an issue. I can be extroverted and exhibit normal social skills when I'm with someone that I know well. I'm also good at public speaking and making eye contact and all that. But if it's someone I don't know, forget about it! I'm very shy and my eye contact is horrible. I don't know why. I think I've been like this for quite some time but it was only somewhat recently when I took notice of it. Anyway, this has been hindering my dating life. If I see someone I'm attracted to, I cannot look at them. How sad is that? I can't even smile at them. Unfortunately, I'm giving them the impression that I'm not interested and there goes my potential opportunity. There's a guy that works at the gym that I go to almost daily and I've seen him looking at me a few times but then I always turn my head away suddenly. Now if I can see him in the corner of my eye, I make a huge point to not even look in his direction. Every time I tell myself that today will be the day that I look at him and smile....but it never happens. I chicken out at the last second when I'm about to walk past him. I know this is not going to be fixed overnight, but if anyone has any advice about making better eye contact and not being so shy, I would be so grateful. If it matters, I'm a female in my mid-twenties. I am the same , when I see a guy looking at me I look away even if I think he is cute . I feel like such a dork and have this big grin on my face and have to laugh like a loser so I often hide . This is why don't get asked out .
thatone Posted January 6, 2012 Posted January 6, 2012 it's a skill just like any other. go to a bar, talk to the bartender. go to a restaurant, talk to the waitress. make a list, "i'm going to talk to 3 random people today" and check it off to make yourself do it. it doesn't have to be potential dates. talk to old people about their groceries. talk to couples about their kids. talk to the mailman about delivering mail. just random people.
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