Do women actually get rejected?

[tigressA]

I learned something big from my rejections--that it's weird to just come in and say "Hey, I really like you" without even having asked the person out or anything. I probably would have done better (at least in college, there was no hope for me in high school) if I hadn't made the whole thing so awkward by confessing these intense feelings in a rush of verbiage and instead just flirtatiously asked if he wanted to have lunch with me.

[misssmartypants]

I was recently told by someone I've been seeing for six months and have known for over two years and grown to have very strong feelings for that I was just not what he wanted.

 

I think the exact words were "I want to live with someone and have a family and I just don't see that with you" but he "still wants to be friends and business partners".

 

I had a man I was seeing for a while actually leave in the middle of the date and not come back.

 

I used to work in a hospital and I had this huge crush on a respiratory therapist, he was so cute, we went out a couple of times. But he was also seeing this other girl (who I still know is a trashy liar) and decided to date her instead. In a small amount of vindication, it did turn out badly.

 

I've had guys I was seeing just fade away. Gone from calling and texting multiple times a day to nothing, radio silence, with no explanation.

 

So, yeah, rejection happens to women. I'm 30 years old, I've had three serious relationships, been married once. I've ended some relationships, I've declined some offers.

 

Rejection is a two way street. Anyone who claims they've never been rejected is either clueless or a liar. Honestly, not sure which one's worse.

[Shaun-Dro]

I got rejected four times that I can think of. One was in first year undergrad. Somehow I had this guy's phone number. I called, asked him out, he said no. I felt devastated.

 

Another one was a friend I had a huge crush on for something like a year. Nothing ever happened and when I finally told him I liked him he said he used to feel that way about me but that he then had the hots for someone else.

 

The next one is why women don't ask guys out:

 

Asked a guy out. He said yes. Said he was flattered. We went out on three dates. On the third date, things got hot and heavy. He dumped me two days after. (OUCH!)

 

Asked a guy out. He said yes. We hung out a few times. This time nothing happened but kissing. Still, after a few dates he told me he didn't reciprocate the feelings. (Have learned, from this one, that if I ask a guy out, I have to let him initiate the next date).

 

See... Women get rejected... Or is it just me who gets rejected a lot ?

 

Your rejection could only mean one of two things: your breath stunk and you didn't realize it, or he saw you without makeup and it wasn't working.

[Kamille]

The last two don't count. Sorry. I would even hesitate to count the second one. But the first one is solid...

 

So you have one.

 

When I have made out with a woman before and she disses me later, I consider that a WIN!

 

When someone dates me just because they think: "hey! here's my chance to get in *a girl, any girl*'s pants", I call that a rejection.

[Dust]

I know guys reject women. Heck I've rejected a woman once.

 

Though for this thread, I mainly want to hear from the women, instead of having a bunch of dudes post how they rejected women.

 

Another thread from another misguided guy who only wants to hear from women.

 

I was like wtf when you made this tread too because you've often talked about rejecting women.

 

I got rejected by a guy I asked out when I was a sophomore in high school. That's my only experience with rejection.

 

But that's also my only experience with being the pursuer. Every subsequent boyfriend or date has asked me out.

 

Even a hot girl like you will get rejected when you're the pursuer. Just in the nature of it. But it really does have many advantages to be the pursuer. Although girls arn't built for it. Heck most of the cry baby guys on this site don't seem built for it.

 

How the heck could a guy reject you?

 

I experienced my fair share of rejection. I had a lot of crushes in high school and I know it sounds unheard of but I was bold enough to confess them to the guys' faces. I always got "No", and often more than that: "You're weird", "You're ugly", "You're psycho". Then these guys would have their friends come around me and pretend they did like me after all to get me to fall for it so they could laugh at me even more (thankfully I was never that gullible).

 

You would think after all that I became a shrinking wallflower. Not so. When I had crushes in college I would tell the guy, and I would get rejected, but at least it was in a 'nicer' way. They would just say they didn't see me as more than a friend. I accepted it, moved on.

 

Hmmm now you walk down the streets and have men chasing you... If I had heard a guy at my High School say such nasty things to a girl I would have punched him in the face.

 

I got rejected four times that I can think of. One was in first year undergrad. Somehow I had this guy's phone number. I called, asked him out, he said no. I felt devastated.

 

If you had been me you would have called a few more times... though you're a pretty girl and should have to go through the entire chasing game.

 

But I'd really enjoy chasing you around the house Kamille and then tackling you when you got tired of running.

 

Another one was a friend I had a huge crush on for something like a year. Nothing ever happened and when I finally told him I liked him he said he used to feel that way about me but that he then had the hots for someone else.

 

Lame on him.

 

The next one is why women don't ask guys out:

 

Asked a guy out. He said yes. Said he was flattered. We went out on three dates. On the third date, things got hot and heavy. He dumped me two days after. (OUCH!)

 

Thats not exactly a flat out rejection. I'd love it if things got hot an heavy before being dumped... as you said it was more of a dumping not that you were gf/bf yet...

 

You going after guys doesn't make them more likely to do that. Heck any guy could do this. The real reason women don't ask men out is because its scary for them and they like the feeling of being chased instead of the fear of showing interest in a guy who could care less.

 

Asked a guy out. He said yes. We hung out a few times. This time nothing happened but kissing. Still, after a few dates he told me he didn't reciprocate the feelings. (Have learned, from this one, that if I ask a guy out, I have to let him initiate the next date).

 

See... Women get rejected... Or is it just me who gets rejected a lot ?

 

Oh Kamille I'd have your naked body burned into my mind forever and ever. Not saying I'd marry you though!

[nothappyjan]

I first got rejected in high school, then after that many times while online dating, rejected by an ex work colleague who was very flirty and always sending me messages on fb then when i suggested getting together he told me he i was a great girl but he didnt feel the spark'. Plus every realtionship i've been the one dumped.

 

Never have not been rejected actually

[somedude81]

Thanks for the stories thus-far.

 

Makes me see that women are people too.

[tigressA]

Another thread from another misguided guy who only wants to hear from women.

 

I was like wtf when you made this tread too because you've often talked about rejecting women.

 

 

 

Even a hot girl like you will get rejected when you're the pursuer. Just in the nature of it. But it really does have many advantages to be the pursuer. Although girls arn't built for it. Heck most of the cry baby guys on this site don't seem built for it.

 

How the heck could a guy reject you?

 

 

 

Hmmm now you walk down the streets and have men chasing you... If I had heard a guy at my High School say such nasty things to a girl I would have punched him in the face.

 

 

 

If you had been me you would have called a few more times... though you're a pretty girl and should have to go through the entire chasing game.

 

But I'd really enjoy chasing you around the house Kamille and then tackling you when you got tired of running.

 

 

 

Lame on him.

 

 

 

Thats not exactly a flat out rejection. I'd love it if things got hot an heavy before being dumped... as you said it was more of a dumping not that you were gf/bf yet...

 

You going after guys doesn't make them more likely to do that. Heck any guy could do this. The real reason women don't ask men out is because its scary for them and they like the feeling of being chased instead of the fear of showing interest in a guy who could care less.

 

 

 

Oh Kamille I'd have your naked body burned into my mind forever and ever. Not saying I'd marry you though!

 

:lmao: I love you Dust.

 

Thanks for the hypothetical punching of the face to all those mean guys

[Shaun-Dro]

Thanks for the stories thus-far.

 

Makes me see that women are people too.

 

These women getting rejected on here are mostly likely below-average in the looks department. No hot woman gets rejected outright unless she's a known slut of some kind or another. Bring a hot woman my way any day!

[Ariadne]

Are there any women out there who have actually been rejected?

If it has happened to you, please give some details. More is always better.

 

I have only been rejected all of my life by every man I loved.

 

I'd say a total of over 20 perhaps. I'm 44 years old now.

 

First it will start with me getting to know them, thinking that they are great, and have a little bit of flirting. They'd be really nice to me and I'd think that they are actually interested.

 

Then it'd happen that I start thinking about them more and more to the point of becoming obsessed. Then, since they never wanted to move things forward I'd take it upon myself to make things happen (since I'd always think that there is something there).

 

So I'd start making excuses to talk to them. If it was at school or work I'd ask them about some problem, email them, drop by, etc.

 

The reaction I got was that they'd shut me off very quickly. Either they'd not reply to my emails or be very curt, or reply in a few days and include some discouraging reply like I'll be busy or some clue.

 

So my reaction was to become more obsessed and escalate the approach to become completely crazy..

 

Say, I'd either go to them and tell them I was in love with them (done this thousands of times), that I was thinking about them all the time, give them small gifts, etc.

 

They'd usually be flattered and very kind...they'd be very understanding and write to me telling me that they don't feel the same way while being very diplomatic, saying that they'd also been there (sometimes telling me their story of things going wrong) and that they understand the feeling, and that I'm a great girl otherwise.

 

Then I'd have some more crazy reaction and start either stalking them (get what I can), at least to see them from afar, look at their cars, look for their pictures, befriend their friends or relatives, and at times call them and ask them to tell me "bad things" for me to forget about them, etc.

 

They'd eventually cut all contact with me as they thought I was too much to handle and avoided me as much. This brought problems at work even because guys would not even want to participate on meetings where I'll be there because I made them so uncomfortable.

 

This has never gotten better and it has been happening till this very day, and unfortunately the guys I like keep getting more unavailable as I tend to like more awesome than before.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Even a hot girl like you will get rejected when you're the pursuer. Just in the nature of it. But it really does have many advantages to be the pursuer. Although girls arn't built for it. Heck most of the cry baby guys on this site don't seem built for it.

 

How the heck could a guy reject you?

 

I was a very awkward 15-year-old. I didn't consider myself hot or even attractive at the time, which was probably part of the problem (low confidence).

 

Yeah, I'm just not emotionally suited to being the pursuer in general. I respect women who can do it, but I'm too shy and passive. Luckily I'm a girl, so it's more socially acceptable.

[Dust]

Thanks for the stories thus-far.

 

Makes me see that women are people too.

 

not only are they people too somedude81 aka pussyonthepedestal but they are in general more afraid when it comes to rejection. So when you are asking a girl out realize she is more afraid of the situation then you. Girls are afraid to even say no to a guy and reject them because they are so sensitive to emotions.

[Buttercup84]

These women getting rejected on here are mostly likely below-average in the looks department. No hot woman gets rejected outright unless she's a known slut of some kind or another. Bring a hot woman my way any day!

 

 

Well I will just go back to my cave then .

[Dust]

I was a very awkward 15-year-old. I didn't consider myself hot or even attractive at the time, which was probably part of the problem (low confidence).

 

Yeah, I'm just not emotionally suited to being the pursuer in general. I respect women who can do it, but I'm too shy and passive. Luckily I'm a girl, so it's more socially acceptable.

 

Most guys will tell you generaly unattractive women do it. Not because going after guys makes them unattractive, but because going after guys is their only advantage.

 

I think the low confidence was with the guy who missed out on 15 year old Kiss_andmakeup.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Well I will just go back to my cave then .

 

Pfft. One could list multiple reasons not to take anything Shaun-Dro says seriously; namely the fact that you are obviously very pretty. Don't go back to your cave just yet.

[samsungxoxo]

Well this can count as a rejection. Long ago I had a crush on this guy for 2 whole years (from 7th till my freshman yr and he was one grade ahead of me) and he knew it but just ignored him. The only time he spoke to me in 7th grade was to give him the answers for a final exam. Stupidly I did it and gave me a passing grade when he didn't deserved it.

 

Fast forwards to 9th grade: His sister who is still my friend one day told me he thought I was ugly and how I would go crazy for him. I didn't believed it that much until he said it in my face the following week. Then off course he tried to fix his way out with a lame apology and how it was just a joke. Yeah right... you don't impress a girl by calling her ugly and then saying ''Oh it was a joke, I was gonna ask you out''. I guess he tried to do it out of pity but it still sucks because he never liked me back.

 

Then he tried me (again) but for a hang-out. I refused it off course.

[nothappyjan]

Sorry to break your theory, but im actually attractive and all the guys have agreed. I generally dont have trouble getting dates or r/ships, just cant maintain their interest. I can show you pics if you don't believe me

[jobaba]

I wonder what the women in this thread who've been rejected hard by their crushes and friends think of 'butterflies'?

 

[Buttercup84]

Sorry to break your theory, but im actually attractive and all the guys have agreed. I generally dont have trouble getting dates or r/ships, just cant maintain their interest. I can show you pics if you don't believe me

 

Are you Australian ? Just judging by your quote

[Dust]

These women getting rejected on here are mostly likely below-average in the looks department. No hot woman gets rejected outright unless she's a known slut of some kind or another. Bring a hot woman my way any day!

 

I've never met a known slut... I will most likely reject a girl if she's been with people I know, but that doesn't make her a slut. The fact that I know a girl who screwed many of my friends and they all didn't reject her means something right...

[CarrieT]

Many times

 

Me too -- many, many times.

 

I've had men who are more quiet and reserved reject me as being a bit too free-spirited.

 

I've had men who are more vanilla reject me for being too kinky.

 

I've had men who want less boobs or less brains reject me.

 

I actually had a guy -- after three dates -- tell me he was really attracted to me but I intimated him intellectually and he broke up with me.

[nothappyjan]

Are you Australian ? Just judging by your quote

 

Yeah I am Aussie, Aussie, Aussie:)

[kaylan]

I have rejected women too, which I feel helps me understand where they are coming from when they reject a guy.

 

Sometimes its been ignoring their signals to make a move, or saying lets just be friends, or slowing things down after they kissed me by surprise. For some reason, if a girl kisses me who I am not interested in, I still let her. I am bad at rejecting women, because I hate hurting someones feelings and would rather let the kiss happen instead of being awkward. So on a few occasions, Ive hooked up with girls while I was on the dance floor, even though I was just dancing with them for fun and didnt want it to go further. However, the only time Im very good at rejecting someone is when I have a girlfriend or am vested in one girl. This is because that rejection is easier to lay on a person because its more about the other girl and not about them.

 

Heres a story of the last time I rejected a girl. She was someone I worked with during the summer at the local youth center. I originally came onto her one night at the bar, despite the fact that I wasnt really into her. You know how alcohol and hormones are. She rejected my advances, which was good because I probably would of regretted doing anything with her.

 

A few weeks later I see her as Im leaving the bar, and she comes on to me super strong. She flat out asks me to kiss her. And I told her " I dunno" and "Dunno if thats such a good idea since we work together". Basically the moment had passed for me, I wasnt really attracted to her all that much, and she has a slutty reputation so I didnt feel itd be safe to start anything. She persisted and even grabbed my hair, which hurt, but she assumed she did it in a sexy way.

 

I kept telling her I didnt think it was a good idea, and trying to let her down easy. She continued to persist so I thought to throw her for a loop and said "Youll get that kiss if I get a place to stay tonight" I knew that wasnt going to happen and didnt want it to, but I wanted to be brazen. She said her friend was staying over so I couldnt...so I said "and whats that have to do with me" and chuckled lightly to myself.

 

She STILL tried to get a kiss and it seemed like begging at that point and my friend was already annoyed because he was waiting on me to drive him home. So I kissed her on the forehead, said "sorry sweetie I have to go" , and left. I told my friend about what happened on the drive home and he thought my actions would make her think I wanted her. And I had to keep telling him that a forehead kiss after a rejection is just a way to friend zone her.

 

A few days later I went to comment on her facebook and she had unfriended me. Talk about immature lol.

[Dust]

I have rejected women too, which I feel helps me understand where they are coming from when they reject a guy.

 

Sometimes its been ignoring their signals to make a move, or saying lets just be friends, or slowing things down after they kissed me by surprise. For some reason, if a girl kisses me who I am not interested in, I still let her. I am bad at rejecting women, because I hate hurting someones feelings and would rather let the kiss happen instead of being awkward. So on a few occasions, Ive hooked up with girls while I was on the dance floor, even though I was just dancing with them for fun and didnt want it to go further. However, the only time Im very good at rejecting someone is when I have a girlfriend or am vested in one girl. This is because that rejection is easier to lay on a person because its more about the other girl and not about them.

 

Heres a story of the last time I rejected a girl. She was someone I worked with during the summer at the local youth center. I originally came onto her one night at the bar, despite the fact that I wasnt really into her. You know how alcohol and hormones are. She rejected my advances, which was good because I probably would of regretted doing anything with her.

 

A few weeks later I see her as Im leaving the bar, and she comes on to me super strong. She flat out asks me to kiss her. And I told her " I dunno" and "Dunno if thats such a good idea since we work together". Basically the moment had passed for me, I wasnt really attracted to her all that much, and she has a slutty reputation so I didnt feel itd be safe to start anything. She persisted and even grabbed my hair, which hurt, but she assumed she did it in a sexy way.

 

I kept telling her I didnt think it was a good idea, and trying to let her down easy. She continued to persist so I thought to throw her for a loop and said "Youll get that kiss if I get a place to stay tonight" I knew that wasnt going to happen and didnt want it to, but I wanted to be brazen. She said her friend was staying over so I couldnt...so I said "and whats that have to do with me" and chuckled lightly to myself.

 

She STILL tried to get a kiss and it seemed like begging at that point and my friend was already annoyed because he was waiting on me to drive him home. So I kissed her on the forehead, said "sorry sweetie I have to go" , and left. I told my friend about what happened on the drive home and he thought my actions would make her think I wanted her. And I had to keep telling him that a forehead kiss after a rejection is just a way to friend zone her.

 

A few days later I went to comment on her facebook and she had unfriended me. Talk about immature lol.

 

Another great post by Kaylan where I have to wonder wtf?

 

So a girl you're unattracted to tries to kiss you and you say "I dunno" a few times and something about working togather.

 

Then when she continues you say "I'll kiss you if you let me come and spend the night."

 

Then your friend smarter then you explains that you acted like you were into her. So you set your more observant friend on the right track by explaining you friend zoned her...

 

Damn man every post by you comes from oposite land...

[Citizen Erased]

Yeah I am Aussie, Aussie, Aussie:)

Oi Oi Oi!

 

Yeah I've been rejected. It was great fun.

 

During high school, I for some reason had a particular liking for the stoners, and one in particular. He was just oh so dreamy. Anyway, I was kind of like his fluffer, he was cool to be all over me and completely distract me from my school work, but once I actually told him I had feelings for him, he rejected me pretty coldly and went off with this chick that I couldn't stand. It was pretty terrible, although once I had a boyfriend and this guy found out I put out, he of course wanted on the CE Train. That didn't happen.

 

I never really went after anyone since him that I didn't 100% know wanted me. Once maybe but I knew that nothing would ever happen there so it was more getting it off my chest kind of thing than a "I love you and want to have your babies" thang. Thankfully my now husband was an open book and always thought I'm the bees knees.