Lionblue92 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 I want opinions on if others think it was the right thing to break up with him, (I know i feel solid that it was right but i want other perspectives) and about how he might feel being dumped , if he realizes his mistake and if you guys think he may contact me or would anyone contact him? I know im the dumper but in this case he was wrong so I dont know that me contacting him anytime soon is a good thing. heres my brief story. I was with my boyfriend for 8 months about spending new years together many times and thats what we planned on doing. BUT. That did not happened. And heres why:: He text me the day before new years eve: I'm in college, and was in a long distance relationship. We lasted about 8 months, the first two and a half months we were in the same state before we went to college. We continued our relationship until I came back here for winter break. Anyway I told him many times before New Years that I wanted us to spend it together, and thats what we were going to do. I told him I may be getting a hotel, but when that did not come thru i told him i still wanted to spend the new year with him. So, anyway the day before new years he sends me this text: him: yo. it looks like im probably going to be spending new years with my dads family. He just called me saying he wants me over there me: You didnt mention to him that you had planned to spend it with me? him: Ya but we didnt really have plans anyway and I havent seen him yet. This is what we usually do on new years anyway me: Thats not the point though..the whole point was that I wanted to bring in the new year with you wherever we were. And i thought you felt the same, I didnt make plans to spend it with anyonelse but you, so you dont want to atleast ask if you can bring your girlfriend? him: No its a family thing. you can come over tonight if you want. But im going over there. Im sure you can still plan something with someone. Soo after this I felt like there was nothing more I could do but break up with him, because a boyfriend who is not taking you for granted wouldnt treat you that way. And he never contacted me until aboout 1130 that night only to say, "sooo....whats up" And by then I had already figured out what I wanted to say in my break up. So, that night before New Years Eve, I called him up and started off breaking up with him and then he said well he was ACTUALLY he wasnt going to his dads, he was going to michael and robbys to hang with them. And then proceeded (out of anger) to tell me how im "too sensitive" and he felt like he had to lie about being with his family because he thought I would be mad and he also basically said i would be a joy kill if he brought me around his friends, like I would get mad at him all of a sudden. But basically, he didnt think I would break up with him if he said he would be with his family, or be mad at him, so he lied thinking that at the most id be a little upset, but that backfired on him. ..anyway somehow this conversation lasted three hours unfortunately and it still ended in us breaking up. Then the next day he texted me to ask me if i wanted my christmas gift that he got me, and i asked him if he had the tags and receipt and he said yes he still had it. Then i said well u can take it back. And he replies alright if you dont want it i will take back. So then i asked him what he got me, and he said "i mean its a gift. you have to see it to find out. do you wan it or not?" so i replied, "alright well if i may come and get it over break but if u need the extra money that i understand" then he said he didnt care and that it was up to me. so i just said alright well if u dont care than take it back, so he said, alright if you say so. (and i say all this because im wondering if he wanted to see me in person, cause thats what it seemed....but at the time i was thinking why wouldnt he know to just take it back) anyway we havent spoken since then, and no he didnt tell me happy new year, just some facebook statuses that indicated his regretting what he did and showed that he missed me, they werent directly saying that but it was obvious. We havent made contact though except I did poke him on facebook and he poked me back but i only did that because i thought he poked me first howeever it was an olkd poke.
HLP234 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Well it looks like he did not have the same intentions as you did. If he lied and just told you he was going with family to go hang out with friends that's messed up. I could understand you guys planning stuff and then him having to actually go with his family, I understand that because my gf and I always argue about plans that sometimes go awry when my family needs me for something. If its family, its family and that would be no reason to break up. But what he did was lie and felt the need to be away from you for whatever reason. That's wrong. He may still want to see you but he doesn't sound mature..who texts "whats up" out of nowhere like nothing happened after knowing you were upset. I would not worry about it, give yourself time to feel better and know that you deserve better.
BoredAgain Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 It sounds like both of you have a bit of growing-up to do. First, neither of you seem to know how to have a productive argument. Second, both of you are playing all these post-breakup mind games. I agree that he was being inconsiderate (and possibly enough to justify a dumping), but you handled it wrong.
Author Lionblue92 Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 It sounds like both of you have a bit of growing-up to do. First, neither of you seem to know how to have a productive argument. Second, both of you are playing all these post-breakup mind games. I agree that he was being inconsiderate (and possibly enough to justify a dumping), but you handled it wrong. How was it handled wrong, if I called him to break up because of what he did?
Author Lionblue92 Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 But also...I do miss him as well so I was thinking about initiating contact to just ask about the gift maybe by asking if he ever took it back. But I dont know how that will turn out, and I want to make sure im not giving him the upper hand before doing so.
HLP234 Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 How was it handled wrong, if I called him to break up because of what he did? Well pretty much the whole gift situation. If you broke up with him, you should not want the gift, well I would not, that is my opinion. By going back and forth between ok maybe I'll have it and just seeing what his response would be is the little game here. If you want to be over him you can't contact him and if he contacts you, you should not respond unless completely necessary. Let him show you that he actually wants you back and is willing to talk about what he did wrong.
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