ToothpasteLove Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Feeling broken.. and the reason we broke up was something that could be easily fixed.. but as she said we cant break up if we werent offical can we... feeling lonely. Ive written in my other posts few weeks back about this girl i have been 'dating' for a good few month who blew hot and cold.. changing her mind and pretty much been all over the place, would never fully commit. Curiosty got the best of me and i seen she had been back on the dating sites ( Which was how we met ) And i let it slide.. i didnt say anything to her about it because i thought okay maybe shes just looking.. Then the next day shes on there again.. again i let this slide.. then the next day she was on it again.. in conversation i let her know i know shes back on those dating sites.. she ignored it. So i thought she would take the hint.. no she doesnt.. and the next day shes on it again.. at this point im starting to feel very insecure.. i asked her why are you on those sites, its wrong when your with someone, its like your still looking.. she gets frustrated with me tells me shes just looking at her messages she isnt talking to anyone she was just curious and i have no right to check up on her.. i believe her.. The next day, yes shes on that site again.. this time we have a long conversation about how her going on those sites is ruining things and its hurtful.. how can she say she loves me if shes on those sites, it makes me think that she is looking for other people and its unacceptable.. she tells me if it was the other way around she wouldnt care.. thats because she knows i wouldnt do it.. So i thought finally is she going to stop.. she didnt stop, she was back on the site again and at this point im getting really frustrated.. i told her since shes not going to keep off those sites i guess this is over as i feel i cant trust her and i think its wrong for her to be on there. So her reply to this was.. we werent offical anyway.. that one line hurt.. i didnt know at the age of mid twentys you had to go to the girl 'Hi wanna be my gf tick yes or no'.. we sleep together, we did things couples did, ive met her friends and family, we make future plans, we are in love.. to me this was a relationship. And this happened all of 10 hours ago and its starting to really hurt. The relationship broke up because she couldnt just shut down the stupid account.. and i would let it slide.. but that means waiting around and letting her find someone better and then dropping me? No im not going to do that. Feel like she doesnt care, i dont know how she can walk away like i ment nothing to her, like this ment nothing to her, how could she say she loves me and just let it end. I guess its only been 10 hours she couldnt possibily have missed me yet.. i kind of hope she will come back and we can sort this out.. but part of me wishes she would stay away. She twisted everything and its made me feel bad.. like i caused this? Im so in love with this girl, would have been there in a heartbeat for her.. she just didnt get it. Am i in the wrong? Im so tempted to text her and ask her why she couldnt just keep off the stupid site.. i miss her already.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 Im going to tell you what you need to know to let this woman go. I think you are a rebound, possibly used. She was dumped by her last bf (doesnt matter what she told you) and was looking for a quick replacement to distract her from the hurt, and that was you. Thats why she blew hot and cold. She kinda wanted to be with you but not really. She might still be thinking of her ex, you didnt make her forget about him, and she is looking for the next guy that might make her forget about her ex. Thats why she was looking for your replacement early on. She told you what she needed to keep you around. She might have liked you a little bit, but she had a plan and you were only part of it. So you cant believe what she says, because her actions didnt match her words. You were in love, she wasnt. It sucks, but you learned a hard lesson, to not believe whatever youre told, even with the person youre having sex with. We've all been through it. Make sure the actions match the words, always!
BoredAgain Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 I bet that once you get some emotional distance from this relationship, you'll be happy its over. As you pointed out, she sounds fairly immature. She's messing around (or, at the very least, attempting to mess around) behind your back, and making you feel miserable. Do the No Contact thing and meet new people... in a few months I'm sure you'll be happy she's gone.
Author ToothpasteLove Posted January 5, 2012 Author Posted January 5, 2012 She's just so good at guilt tripping me.. i havent contacted her since i said it was over, and im going to stick to that.. i know its going to get lonely.. its going to hurt, but its better than been used by someone who clearly doesnt feel the same. She has never had a long term relationship in all her 23 years.. shes actually never had a relationship at all.. always flings or one night stands. I was stupid enough to think i could be the exception.. like all was going to change because i walked into her life. I think shes the kind of girl who stays untill the infactuation stage has worn off and then she begins her search for the next guy. She may have an ex hid away somewhere.. for all i know i could be the other guy. It hurts but most of all i feel stupid and used.
Philosoraptor Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 I second those latter thoughts ToothpasteLove. Many people who have not emotionally matured leave once that exicitng stage is over and expect that to last forever. When it doesn't they assume it was not meant to be and head on towards the next best thing.
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